One of the Boys  Discontinued
by nomadichead
Summary: Eli x Clare. Inspired by "One of the Boys" by Katy Perry. Clare and Eli have been best friends since they could remember. They know each other better than anyone else. But friendships change, sometimes for the bad and sometimes for the good.
1. Chapter 1

Eli x Clare

This story was inspired by Katy's Perry's song, "One of the Boys". I'm so excited for this story. I actually have a complete other word document filled with ideas for things to happen. Nerd, I know.

[I don't own Degrassi, or any of it's characters. I don't own the song from which the title is derived from, Katy Perry's label does.]

T for now but it will rise up to M in future, just warning you.

This first chapter may or may not make you cry.

Italics = Flashbacks

Read + Enjoy + Review.

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><p>Chapter 1:<p>

"Are you excited?" Eli asked. He and Clare were huddled together on Eli's roof. Something they did whenever something big was about to happen. They were laid out on a big blanket under the stars.

"For what?" Clare asked turning to him, while wrapping her arms around herself. It was starting to get colder.

"You start high school tomorrow, why aren't you more excited?" Eli said shaking Clare.

"I don't see the big deal. I mean, I'm just happy to be able to see you every day again," Clare replied honestly. Clare and Eli had been best friends since they could remember. They were always together, inseparable. That was until Eli had to go to high school and Clare was left half alone back in grade eight. They hated being a year apart.

"Aww! Somebody loves me," Eli joked pulling Clare into a bone crushing hug.

"Ugh, you wish," Clare retorted but contradicted her words by squeezing him back.

"So are you excited to start high school tomorrow?" Eli asked again.

"You're so annoying," Clare replied.

"And you're so avoiding the question. Spit it out Edwards," Eli pushed.

"It's just…," Clare said quietly. Eli began to get worried.

"What?"

"What if nobody likes me?" Clare whispered seriously. Clare was never the type of girl to care about what others thought of her. She had thick skin. The words that had just been uttered by her worried Eli. The concerned look that etched across his features made Clare burst out laughing, breaking her fake seriousness.

Eli glared at her playfully.

"Don't worry Clare, you'll have your best friend Bhandari there," Eli mocked and Clare stuck out her tongue in disgust.

"I think I'd rather drink spoiled pickle juice," she said gravely.

Eli laughed, "C'mon, I've got to walk you home before it gets late."

"I can take myself home, thank you very much," Clare said crossing her arms over her small chest.

"Yeah right," Eli laughed and got up from the roof. He climbed down carefully over the side of the roof and felt for the ledge of his window pane. He let himself drop down and waited for Clare, who was nowhere to be seen.

"Clare?" Eli asked, poking his head out of his window.

"What?" Clare said from above.

"Are you coming down anytime soon? I have to take you home," Eli said tapping his foot impatiently on the dark hardwood floor.

"I'm coming," Clare shouted and Eli snickered.

"Don't be perverted Elijah!" Clare yelled not from above, but from the tree branch outside of his window.

"How did you manage to get there without killing yourself?" Eli asked amazed.

"To be honest, I don't really know," Clare shrugged and swung over the branches working her way down. Unfortunately, the last branch was high off the ground.

"Clare hold on I'll be right there," Eli yelled, almost having a heart attack watching Clare stumble multiple times.

Eli quickly ran down the stairs of his house and past his parents, who were watching television in the living room.

"Where's the fire Eli?" His mother, Cece, asked.

"Clare's hanging off the tree branch," Eli said slightly out of breath.

"Oh my god she could get hurt!" Cece shrieked.

"Exactly, I'm trying to go help her but you stopped me, so if she falls it'll all be your fault," Eli accused, ran towards the door and opened it, smacking right into Clare.

"How did you get down?" Eli asked surprised.

"I jumped, you dork," Clare said poking his chest.

"But how –," He started but Clare cut him off.

"I don't like your tone," Clare said irritated, "just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm helpless."

"She's right Eli," Bullfrog, Eli's father, said from the living room, "Clarabelle's got more fighting power than you." He started laughing and Clare joined in.

"He's right," Clare laughed and punched him in the shoulder; Eli wouldn't admit that it actually did hurt.

"Oh really," Eli said threateningly and punched Clare back in her shoulder.

"Yeah really," Clare said punching him again.

They glared at each other and seconds later they were on the floor kicking, smacking, punching, and playfully hitting each other.

"You can't hit me, I'm a girl," Clare yelped after Eli hit her particularly hard on her thigh.

"You just said you weren't weakened by your gender," Eli replied after Clare smacked him back in the back of the head.

Clare and Eli stopped rough housing when they saw a black feminine boot tapping impatiently by them.

They looked up to see Cece staring down at them with a small smile on her face, holding an aluminum covered tray.

"He started it," Clare said at the same time Eli said that Clare started it.

"Eli stop fighting Clare and get up off the floor," Cece reprimanded Eli. Clare smiled triumphantly at him.

"But mom," he started.

"But nothing," Cece said, "now both of you get up off that floor and Eli take Clare home before her father worries."

Eli jumped off and offered his hand to Clare, pulling her up.

Bullfrog walked up behind Cece, "I heard the ruckus stop so I figured Cece came to kill the fun. Clare did you get in a couple of good swipes?"

"Sure did," Clare said smirking at Eli and high fived Bullfrog.

"Here you go sweet cheeks," Cece said handing the tray of food to Clare and gave her a hug.

"Thanks Cece," Clare said.

"Will we be seeing you soon?" Cece asked.

"Most definitely, Eli here can't get enough of me," Clare joked bumping her side into Eli's causing him to jostle.

"Oh yeah," Eli said sarcastically, "I can't live without her."

"Oh well off you go and don't be home late you little brat," Bullfrog said ruffling both Clare and Eli's hair.

Eli and Clare turned and walked out of the house, they were halfway down the front path when Bullfrog called them. They turned swiftly and expectantly.

"Hey Clarabelle, beat up Eli in school tomorrow for me yeah?" Bullfrog laughed.

"Will do!" Clare promised and turned to laugh at Eli.

"Let's go," Eli said irritated. He turned back to glare at his father, who only laughed at his reaction.

They walked silently to Clare's house, which was only a few blocks away. The only sound heard was Eli's laughter every time Clare almost tripped.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore," Clare huffed after the seventh time she almost fell, and Eli, instead of helping her regain her balance, just stood there laughing.

"Clare, we both know you can't live without me. You can't get enough of this," Eli said gesturing to himself.

Clare rolled her eyes, "No thanks." But a warm feeling spread over her entire body when she saw Eli that betrayed her words.

They walked in silence the rest of the way and Clare silently thanked God that she didn't trip anymore times. They reached Clare's porch and she handed the tray of food to Eli. She felt around for her key but didn't find it.

"Damn, I left my key again," Clare said and started banging on the door yelling "Dad" but he never answered.

"Must not be home, I wonder where he is," Clare whispered.

"Where's the spare?" Eli asked.

"I'm trying to remember" Clare said motioning for Eli to be quiet.

"You don't remember?" Eli asked exasperatedly.

"Hush," Clare said smacking his thigh. After a moment she jumped, "I remember where it is!"

"I hope you didn't do any serious damage to your brain while you were thinking," Eli mocked.

"Shut up, put that down and help me," Clare demanded.

Eli did as he was told, "Now what?"

Clare pointed to the little roof above her porch, "It's taped there."

Clare climbed on the railing of her porch and pulled herself up to the roof.

"Dumbass, you're going to kill yourself," Eli said from the ground, "Who the fuck puts a key there anyway?"

"Fucker, it's so that no one finds it, breaks in and steals my shit," Clare told him like he was stupid.

"You're retarded," Eli said.

"Found it," Clare yelled triumphantly and started to climb down but she over estimated the height of the railing, fell off the roof and onto Eli.

"Aww, Eli, thanks for breaking my fall!" Clare said in a mock girly voice and kissed his cheek.

Eli made a fake horrified face, "Get off me Edwards," he said shoving her off of him and onto the ground.

"Ouch, what a gentleman," Clare retorted.

"I know. I make you swoon with my suave moves don't I?" Eli spoke running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, you're a regular Casanova," Clare said pulling herself up after Eli exaggeratedly declined to help her up.

She opened the door to her house and set the food on the kitchen table. Eli followed behind, making himself completely at home.

"Why yes, dear husband, get comfortable, I'll make you dinner and feed you," Clare said in a dainty voice when she saw Eli put his feet on her coffee table.

"Damn right you will woman," Eli said in a false macho voice, "you'll cook, clean, and meet all of my needs." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't be gross Eli," Clare chastised, smacking the back of his head lightly.

"Ouch! You really are like my wife," Eli said rubbing the back of his head, "an abusive one at that."

"Damn straight. Someone has to keep you in check," Clare said sitting next to him on the couch.

Eli turned on the television and flipped through the channels quickly, knowing it annoyed Clare. He wondered why she hadn't snatched the remote out of his hand yet and turned to see a worried expression on her face and that she was biting her nails.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked curiously.

Clare shrugged, "I wonder where my dad is, he's never out this late."

"I'm sure he's fine Clare, don't worry," Eli said reassuring her.

"What if something bad happened? What if he's –," Clare started but Eli cut her off.

"Knock it off Clare, don't think like that. Your dad is going to waltz in here any minute," Eli pulled a now crying Clare into his lap and hugged her tightly as a painful memory crawled into the forefront of their minds.

_Clare's mom had stormed out of the house after a fight with her dad in the middle of the afternoon. Clare remembered chasing her mom out of the house after the fight._

_Clare's tiny seven year old body struggled to keep up with her mother's fast pace._

"_Where are you going mommy?" Clare said tugging on the bottom of her mother's yellow sundress._

"_Mommy's just going for a walk," Helen Edwards replied picking Clare up and holding her in her arms. _

"_Can I come with you?" Clare asked shaking her head, her tiny red ringlets bouncing wildly._

"_Sorry baby, mommy needs some alone time. Go back to your daddy and we'll bake cookies the second I get home, okay?" Helen put her daughter back on the ground_

"_Promise?" Clare pouted waving her tiny pinky finger in the air._

"_Promise," Helen wrapped her pinky finger around Clare's and squeezed. _

"_Okay, bye mommy. I love you," Clare turned around and went to look for her dad. Maybe Eli could come over and play while she waited for her mom. _

_It was half past nine when there was a loud knock at the Edwards' door. Eli and Clare raced to answer it. _

"_Look through the window first!" Randall Edwards called after them_

"_Okay," they shouted back. _

_Eli pulled the curtain open and peeked out._

"_I can't see anything!" Clare said stomping her foot on the floor. She was still too short to look through the high windows. _

_Eli came up behind Clare and pulled her up as high as his own weak eight year old little body could, but it was enough for Clare to be able to see over the window pane._

"_Daddy! It's the police!" Clare shouted when Eli put her back down._

_Randall came to the two frightened kids' side. "Go upstairs and play," he said lightly _

_Clare felt Eli pull her hand at once, dragging her up the stairs to her room. When they reached the top of the staircase she yanked her hand out of Eli's and put her finger to her lips._

"_You're dad said to go play, c'mon Clare," Eli said tugging on her arm._

"_Can we please stay? Clare asked, "Maybe they'll pull out their guns or handcuffs!"_

_For eight year old Eli that was enough, "Okay!"_

_Clare put her finger to her lips once more and crouched down to sit by the railing so she could see the police and her dad without them seeing her. Eli sat down excitedly next to her._

_They watched the police say something to Clare's dad but couldn't hear what. All of a sudden they heard a choked sob come out of Randall Edwards' body._

_Clare turned to look at Eli with a scared look on her face._

"_What happened?" she asked quietly._

"_I'm sure everything is okay," he replied taking her tiny hand in his._

_Randall's sobs were heard all the way upstairs._

"_What happened?" another voice interrupted the police officers' which Eli instantly recognized as his mom's._

_The police turned to Randall and he waved them off dismissively. The officer turned to Cece and Bullfrog and must have told them the same thing he told to Randall because Cece let out a shocked gasp before __starting to cry. Eli and Clare could see Bullfrog pulling her to him and hugging her tightly._

_Eli mimicked the act with Clare._

_The police stayed a few more minutes before turning to leave, taking their hats off in sorrow in the process. _

_The three adults that remained went into the living room. Eli and Clare slowly tip-toed down the stairs and hid behind the wall listening to the grown-ups talk._

"_Oh my god," Cece said choking on another sob, "how could this have happened?"_

_Even Bullfrog was wiping tears away from his eye, and when Eli saw that he knew something really bad had happened. The only time Eli had ever seen his father cry was at his grandmother's funeral a few __months ago. He looked down at Clare who also had noticed Bullfrog's cries and paled in color. He squeezed her hand tightly in his own. _

"_How am I supposed to tell her?" Randall said running his fingers through his hair._

_Clare walked into the living room, pulling Eli with her, "Tell who what daddy?" _

"_Clare, how long have you two been standing there?" Randall asked quickly wiping his tears away._

"_Why were the police here Daddy?" Clare asked._

"_Come here Clarebear," Randall said patting his lap. Cece made the same motion to Eli._

_Clare and Eli let their hands go and went to sit in their parents' laps._

"_Now baby. There's something I have to tell you, it's about your mommy," Randall started._

_Clare looked up innocently at her dad, "When is she coming home? It's late and she promised me we were going to bake cookies."_

_Randall started crying again. "Baby your mommy….your mommy," he started and began choking on his sobs again, "baby girl you're mommy was in an accident." _

_Clare's eyes widened, "Is she at the doctor's hospital getting fixed?"_

"_No, sweetheart, your mommy was hit by a car on her way home," Randall said gently, tears still streaming from his eyes, "she died sweetheart."_

_Clare was quiet, confused. She didn't know what being dead meant. She was only seven after all. She looked up through her short red bangs and looked at Eli, who was frowning. Eli, having attended his grandma's funeral a few months before, had been explained what death was. _

_Randall started heaving again and Clare hopped off of his lap. Bullfrog stood up and took Randall to another part of the house but Randall's sobs resonated throughout the entire house. Clare went to sit on Cece's other leg. _

"_Cece, what does died mean? When is my mommy coming back?" Clare asked innocently. _

"_Oh baby," Cece started off quietly, "I'm so sorry sweetheart, but your mommy's body stopped working before the doctor's could patch her up."_

"_So being dead means your body stops working? When does it start working again?" Clare asked._

"_Sweetie, when you die, your body stops working forever. And it never starts working again," Cece explained, squeezing Clare._

_Clare's scared blue eyes bore into Eli's as she asked the next question, "So my mommy's gone forever?" _

"_I'm sorry honey, but yes, she is. She's up in heaven with God and all the angels," Cece didn't believe in God but she knew the Edwards' religion, which is why she told Clare that._

"_Oh," Clare said quietly, finally understanding. _

_It was in that moment of realization that tiny, seven year old Clare Edwards started crying, she felt Eli's small arms wrap around her as she cried._

_The funeral was three days later. Clare remembered sitting by her mother's casket in her little black dress and hat during the wake and Eli in his black suit sitting next to her the entire time, holding her hand._

_She remembered when they lowered her mother's body into the ground._

_The weeks after the funeral had been the worst. Randall was a walking zombie who couldn't even look at his daughter without being reminded of his wife. That was why he called Cece and Bullfrog and asked __them to take Clare for a few weeks while he pulled himself back together. _

Clare pulled herself away from Eli's chest and wiped away her tears, "Sorry," she said feeling guilty.

"For what?" Eli asked confused running his fingers down her face and wiping away a few stray tears she'd missed.

"For all of this," Clare said waving her hand in her direction and then pointing to Eli's soaked shirt.

"Clare," Eli said softly, "you have nothing to be sorry for."

Clare leaned back into Eli's embrace and took a few deep breaths, steadying her heart rate.

"You should get cleaned up. You don't want your dad to see you like this. He'll worry," Eli mentioned gently.

Clare nodded, standing up and walking to the bathroom adjacent to her room upstairs. Eli followed close behind and stood in the threshold watching Clare as she washed her face. When she was done she leaned on her arms against the edge of the sink and stared at herself in the mirror. All the traces of tears were gone. She turned to look at Eli.

"Feeling better?" he asked, smiling softly.

"Much," she replied and walked over to him. He immediately opened his arms and beckoned her in an embrace. She leaned her head against his chest.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Don't mention it," he responded rubbing her back.

Clare pulled away, "Your shirt is all wet from my tears."

Eli shrugged.

"C'mon I have a dry one somewhere in my room from when you've slept over," she tugged on Eli's hand and pulled him back into her room.

Eli plopped on Clare's bed and watched her maneuver around her closet looking for his shirt.

"Here," Clare tossed a clean Dead Hand shirt at Eli's face.

He peeled the wet shirt off in front of Clare.

"My virgin eyes!" Clare fake shrieked.

"Please, Clare, you totally want this," Eli laughed and put on his clean shirt while Clare laughed.

He tossed the dirty, wet one into Clare's hamper, "Wash it for me, okay wife?"

"Oh gladly sweet husband," Clare replied sarcastically, "Anything else I can do for you?"

"Well," Eli pretended to be deep in thought, "you could make me a sandwich."

"I'll get right on that," Clare threw a pillow at Eli's head with perfect aim.

Eli retaliated by suddenly tackling Clare onto her bed. He had her pinned beneath him. Clare struggled, trying to push him off, but he took her wrists and held them above her head.

"Dear sweet wife, you're going to have to stop abusing me, because it hurts me right here in my heart," Eli explained in a mock serious voice staring straight into Clare's blue eyes.

Clare looked into Eli's eyes and felt a flutter in the pit of her stomach, which she pushed way. She gave into Eli and stopped thrashing underneath him.

"That's my girl," Eli smiled down at her and Clare felt herself lose her breath.

Luckily, in that moment, Clare could hear the front door open.

"Clare?" Randall Edwards called out.

"Upstairs dad!" she yelled back.

Eli slipped off of Clare and lay next to her on her small bed.

"Hey honey. Hi Eli," Randall said surprised, "What are you guys doing up here?" He eyed them wearily.

"Beating Clare up, of course," Eli joked and Randall laughed quietly, retreating back down the stairs.

Eli turned to look at Clare, "Did you hear the implication in his voice? It's like he thought we were doing something bad."

"I know," Clare agreed.

"That's weird. We do this all the time" Eli said scratching his head.

"Yup," Clare agreed.

"Ew," Eli finally said and for some odd reason Clare felt her heart sink a little bit, "You're like my wife. Everyone knows that married people don't have sex."

Clare laughed faintly, "You should go home, Eli."

"You're kicking me out Clare? I didn't know I was such a horrible husband," Eli feigned hurt.

"Of course not," Clare said quickly, "Bullfrog told you not to be home late."

"Relax Clare, I was kidding," Eli stated, "I should be getting home."

He jumped off of her bed and went downstairs. Clare followed, walking him out.

"Bye Randall," Eli beckoned to Clare's father, who was in the kitchen.

"Bye Eli thanks for walking Clare home. Say hello to Bullfrog and Cece on my behalf," Randall called back.

Eli pulled open Clare's front door and swiftly turned around making Clare smash into his chest.

"What?" Clare asked.

Eli looked down at her tenderly, "You okay?" He whispered.

Clare nodded slowly, looking at him.

"Good. I hate seeing you sad," he leaned down and kissed her cheek, dangerously close to her lips.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow for school," Eli murmured against her skin.

"Okay," Clare replied a little breathlessly.

"Bye Clarebear," Eli whispered in her ear and Clare felt her eyes drop closed. She opened them quickly and saw Eli's figure retreating in the distance and shut the door.

Clare ran up the stairs two at a time and slammed the door of her room and leaned against it, sliding to the floor. She placed her hand over her wildly beating heart and wondered what the fuck was happening to her.

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><p>Tell me what you think, m'kay?<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

The reception I've received for this story and I Have Friends in Holy Spaces has been astounding. Alerts and reviews all over! You guys are all super amazing! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! You can follow me on tumblr if you feel so inclined, fumbled-trust[dot]tumblr[dot]com

[Still don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry's song.]

The season finale killed me emotionally. I feel like I got broken up with! :(

Read + Enjoy + Review :)

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><p>Eli sat in his history class bored out of his mind. To his left, some kid was completely asleep on top of his book and Drew was completely engrossed in his PSP, which was hidden under the desk, to his right. Eli sucked in another breath and stared at the clock, willing it to move faster. When it didn't, Eli groaned and let his head drop on top of his book. There were ten minutes left of class and then he could leave. Granted he still had to wait for Clare to get out of volleyball practice and walk her home, but at least there he was entertained, watching the girls jump around in the short shorts that were the required uniform.<p>

_Clare had punched him in the shoulder after the fourth time she'd caught him discreetly checking out the girls. _

"_We're people, not pieces of meat!" She scolded him after practice. _

He chuckled lightly, making Drew turn his head to give him a quizzical look.

"What's so funny?" Drew asked, putting his game on pause.

"Remembering Clare yelling at me for checking out the volleyball girls during practice," Eli replied, "I have to wait and walk her home. Want to stay and annoy her with me?"

"Duh, annoying Clare plus checking out chicks? That's like the perfect day in my book," Drew said smiling.

"You know Adam's just going to tell us to leave her alone though," Eli said, faking annoyance.

"Adam Shmadam," Drew waved his hand dismissively, "Fiona just joined the team and Adam will be too busy ogling at her snobby ass to even remember Clare is on the team."

They laughed.

"Boys," Mr. Perino warned, and turned back to the board.

They snickered under their breath.

The bell finally rang and everyone practically stampeded to get out of the classroom.

Eli trudged slowly to his locker. Clare's was right next to his and she was already putting her stuff away when Eli began to spin the dial on his.

"How was Chemistry?" he asked, shoving everything into his locker. He'd worry about his homework tomorrow morning, and during lunch.

"Killer, can we make tonight a homework night at your house? I'm swamped," Clare said pointing to her book bag, which looked ready to explode.

"Okay, but you'll be the only one doing homework," he replied smirking.

"Eli," Clare said in an annoyed tone.

"What?" he shrugged innocently.

"You're going to fail pretty soon if you don't do anything," Clare reminded him.

"No I won't. I do half of my homework, ace every test, and I still get by with a low B or high C, it's the perfect formula," Eli explained.

"If you want to be perfectly average," she retorted.

"Well we all can't be over achieving nerds like you," he poked Clare's side.

"Very funny," Clare replied, poking him back, "Practice time."

She pulled out her practice uniform and went to change. When Clare came back Eli wolf whistled at her and she couldn't help but blush.

"Don't be a perv," she remarked.

"You say that like I can help it," Eli confessed smugly.

They walked to the gym where Drew and Adam were already seated on the top bleacher. Clare dropped her book bag on the ground next to them and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What?" all three them asked innocently.

"No perving on the girls," Clare demanded, "or I'll have Mrs. Hatzilakos kick you out."

"You're no fun," Drew pouted.

"I didn't say I was," Clare turned and walked down the bleachers and onto the court.

"Looking good sexy," Drew called after her, loud enough for the other girls to hear. Clare turned to glare at him and waved her fist menacingly.

Most of the girl population in grade nine and grade ten looked at Clare with envy. She was best friends with some of the best looking guys in their grade. But most of them were not threatened, it was Clare after all. Clare was a guys' girl. She liked watching and playing sports, didn't mind getting dirty, and actually had an appetite. All qualities that were actually appealing, but none of the girls found threatening.

Practice began a few minutes later when all of the girls had finally shown up. Eli and Drew blatantly stared at the girls while they practiced while Adam pulled out a notebook and pretended to do homework while he discreetly peeked at Fiona Coyne.

Clare was easily one of, if not the best, on the team. She scored the most points for her team during practice, during games and had a killer serve.

The girls were worn out, their breaths coming out in heavy pants which made their chests rise and fall enticingly. The boys stared, tantalized by what they saw. Clare coughed loudly. The girls thought nothing of it but the boys knew that Clare was trying to get their attention. The three of them turned to look at her expectantly. Clare glared and pointed to her head and motioned to the other girls' heads, silently telling them where their eyes should be. Eli pretended to grab her ass, which made the other boys laugh. Clare waited until Mrs. Hatzilakos wasn't looking in her direction and she flipped them all off.

That's how the rest of practice went too, the boys doing discreet thing to rile Clare up.

After another hour Mrs. H called practice to an end and sent the girls off to shower and change. After a quick hot shower to relieve her muscles Clare changed and ran out of the locker room still feeling sore after the demanding practice.

But that didn't stop her from smacking the three boys on the head when she went to retrieve her book bag.

"What did I do?" Adam asked earnestly.

"I saw you checking out Fiona," Clare called him out.

"Busted!" Drew shouted loudly and high fived Eli.

"Whatever, I'm hungry. The Dot?" Adam asked trying to change the subject.

"Yeah," Drew replied, "I'm starving." He rubbed his flat stomach to prove a point.

"Okay," Clare said and Eli shrugged.

They gathered their things and walked to The Dot.

They were waiting for their food to arrive when Clare pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her head against them. She yawned and gestured to the lady walking by their window booth wearing a red mini dress and thigh high boots.

"She's the perfect mother," Clare mumbled, stifling another yawn.

The boys laughed.

"That one's a secret serial killer," Adam said, pointing to a guy wearing a long trench coat.

"She sells drugs on the side," Eli pointed to a woman dressed as a school teacher.

This was a stupid game they'd made up the previous year. They watched people walk by and gave the normal looking people ridiculous identities and the weirdoes completely normal lives.

They played until their food came. The boys attacked their food like savages but Clare barely ate a third of her food. Her eyes began to slip close when she was interrupted.

"Are you seriously falling asleep over your food?" Drew asked poking her cheek.

Clare opened her eyes, "No," she replied tiredly, trying to suppress another yawn, "now get your pretty face away from me." She waved her hand in Drew's general direction, trying to hit him gently.

"Aw, Clare thinks I'm pretty. Well I think you're super hot too princess," Drew remarked and Clare gave him the finger.

"You okay?" Eli asked shaking her shoulder gently, concerned.

"Just tired. I guess practice wore me out more than I thought," Clare replied. She leaned her head against Eli's shoulder.

"Better wake up if you want to do any of that mountain of homework we've got," Adam mumbled, mouth full of food.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Clare said disgustedly, snuggling closer to Eli.

"I should get you home before I have to carry you," Eli murmured.

"Okay," Clare replied, barely conscious.

Eli dropped a few bills on the table, paying for his food and Clare's, though she'd barely touched it. Clare stood up, legs shaking and fell back onto the seat.

"Girl-dude, are you okay?" Drew asked, concern washing over his face.

"I haven't slept very well lately," Clare muttered.

"What?" Eli and Drew asked at the same time.

"She said she hasn't slept well," Adam repeated loudly.

"C'mon let's get you home," Eli said, pulling her up to stand. Clare hobbled a bit but braced her arm on the table to keep her balance.

Clare leaned over to pick up her back pack.

"I got it," Eli said slinging her bag over his shoulder, "You stumble enough when you're awake. Imagine now, you're half asleep and your bag is heavier than you. You'd fall over the second we left."

Clare was too tired to think of a comeback. She rubbed the tiredness from her eyes and trailed Eli.

"You need help getting her home?" Adam asked when he saw Clare stagger over her own two feet.

"No, I think we'll be fine. Later," Eli put his arm around Clare's shoulders to support her.

They walked slowly.

"Can we just go to your house? It's closer than mine. My dad can come pick me up after work," Clare managed to say.

"You sure?" Eli asked, holding her tighter.

"Yes, your bed is closer than mine and I need a nap," Clare yawned again.

"Can't argue with that logic," Eli replied.

They made it to Eli's house without any incident. He opened the door and let both of their book bags fall to the floor with a thump.

"Mom? Dad?" he called out walking through the house.

"They're probably at the radio station," Clare mumbled from the doorway. She walked into the house and shut the door, leaning against it.

Clare couldn't find the strength to keep herself up and started slipping to the floor.

"C'mon, let's get you upstairs," Eli whispered in her ear, sliding his arms under her. He carried her bridal style up to his room and set her down on his bed.

Clare tossed and turned on the bed trying to find a comfortable position but after a few minutes gave up and sat up on the bed.

"Eli can I borrow some pajama pants? I can't sleep in jeans because I can't move around," Clare asked.

"Sure," Eli replied turning on his computer and checking his email. He heard Clare shuffling around in his closet looking for pants.

"Find them?" Eli asked.

"No your closet's a mess," Clare whined sleepily.

Eli got up from his desk to retrieve some for her while Clare went back to lie down on his bed.

"Here," he said, tossing her a pair of pants, "I told you they were right there."

"How was I supposed to know?" Clare defended tiredly. "It's your mess, of course you know where everything is." She unzipped her jeans and slid them down her legs.

Eli went back to his computer, unaffected with the fact that Clare was almost half naked a mere three feet away from him. They'd grown up together and had so many sleepovers over the years that they were completely comfortable changing in front of each other if the moment should arise.

"Thanks," Clare said in a low voice after she'd put on his pajamas. Eli heard her slipping under his covers.

"Yeah," Eli said surfing the web.

A few minutes later Eli was surprised to not hear Clare breathing evenly in slumber and turned to check on her.

She was wide awake under the blanket.

"I can't sleep," she said annoyed.

"Really? You were falling asleep on your food and I had to drag you all the way up here. You were more than half asleep the entire time," Eli said, astounded.

"I know. But now I can't sleep," Clare mumbled, "and I'm really tired."

Eli shrugged and turned back to his computer to I.M. Adam.

"Eli," Clare whined from the bed.

"What?" Eli asked, not turning to look at her.

"Come sleep," Clare replied.

"Not tired," he said.

"Please Eli," Clare whimpered.

"You do realize that it's only," Eli turned to check the digital alarm clock on his nightstand, "six in the afternoon right?"

"I don't care, come sleep," Clare grumbled patting the spot on the bed next to her.

"What about your homework?" Eli asked.

"Homework. Ugh, forget about it. Sleep now. I'll just stay up later," Clare responded.

"Okay," Eli surrendered. He was feeling pretty tired about having to practically carry Clare all the way to his house, and school had been a drag. Before his brain could process it, Eli was yawning.

"See? You're tired too," Clare remarked lying back down.

"You made me," Eli mumbled changing into another set of pajamas.

He shut off the lights to his room and closed the blinds so no light came through them and went to his bed.

"Move over," Eli said shaking Clare.

"I'm already here. It's warm and the other side will be cold. You go there," Clare muttered into the pillow.

"But this is my side Clare," Eli reminded her, "I can't sleep on that side unlike you, who sleeps anywhere."

"Fine," Clare huffed and moved to the other side.

Eli slid into the side Clare had been lying in and smiled softly at the warmth than engulfed him.

"Now I'm cold," Clare complained under her breath.

Eli muffled a quiet laugh and opened his arms. Clare snuggled into his side, much like they did growing up. Clare was always cold and Eli was always too warm. They would always end up snuggling together in the middle to create the perfect sleeping temperature for the both of them.

Clare fell asleep almost instantly, now wrapped up in Eli's warmth.

Eli fell asleep a few minutes after, letting Clare's sweet scent of vanilla and lavender carry him away.

Eli awoke a few hours later and turned slowly, trying not to wake up Clare, and checked the clock. It was almost nine-thirty.

He turned back towards Clare who was still sleeping, He watched her breath deeply and evenly, her chest rising and falling in pattern.

"Clare," he whispered, caressing her face gently.

Clare mumbled something incoherent and snuggled closer to Eli. He smiled and shook her again.

"Clare you have to wake up, it's almost nine-thirty," he whispered.

Clare opened her eyes and let her eyesight dart around the room.

"What happened?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"I brought you to my house and you passed out shortly after," he explained, "you made me sleepy too."

Clare dropped back onto the bed and pulled the covers over herself. "Don't want to move. I'm warm."

"Your dad is going to worry because you didn't tell him where you were," Eli reminded her.

"Where else would I be if I'm not with you," Clare said from under the covers, "but hand me my phone." She stuck her hand out from under the covers.

Eli picked up Clare's jacket from the floor, took the phone out of her pocket and handed it to her. Clare dragged her arm back under the covers, phone in hand.

A dull light shone from under the covers indicating that Clare was making a call. Eli fell back on the bed and pulled the covers over himself as well, joining Clare in the warm environment.

"Dad," she whispered into the phone when he picked up.

"I'm at Eli's, dad, where else would I be?" Clare said and even though he couldn't see her, Eli knew that she was rolling her eyes.

"Doing homework, I have a ton that I've yet to finish," she lied easily, "Eli's helping me though. So can I just stay over tonight? I really don't understand this math and Eli's explaining it to me again."

Eli could partially hear Randall on the phone and closed his eyes, hoping it would heighten his hearing abilities.

"Okay, thanks dad. I'm sorry I didn't call. See you tomorrow," Clare said and ended the call.

"Did you just invite yourself to sleep here? How rude," Eli said.

"Shut up," Clare laughed and hit him gently.

"I'm calling the police and reporting you for domestic abuse one of these days," Eli mumbled.

"I'm hungry," Clare said ignoring his comment, "let's run downstairs, get something fast and run back upstairs before we get cold."

It was another game they'd made up when they were little. Cece always put them to sleep after a long day of play and when they woke up they'd always be starving. They'd made a game of running down stairs, grabbing the snack easiest to get and run back upstairs and under the blankets before the cold air settled into their bones.

"Okay," Eli said laughing, "Ready."

"Set," Clare smiled.

"Go!" They yelled at the same time and tore the blanket off of themselves.

They threw open the door and raced down the stairs, making a mad dash for the kitchen. Eli ran to refrigerator and Clare ran to the cabinet and each grabbed something quickly before hurrying back upstairs.

Cece and Bullfrog were in the kitchen talking throughout all of this. They stared at the kids with dumbfounded expressions.

"You do realize that you're not kids anymore right?" Cece chuckled, remembering their game.

"Clare's sleeping over tonight," Eli yelled behind him as he ran back up the stairs.

"Trip him up the stairs Clarabelle," Bullfrog yelled laughing, earning a smack to the shoulder from Cece.

"You know you could've just worn sweaters right?" Cece yelled at them.

"We don't really think things through Cece," Clare yelled back before slamming Eli's door shut.

They dove for the bed at the same time and covered themselves with the blanket.

"I'm cold," Clare whined.

"You must be a slow runner then because I'm toasty warm," Eli said smugly and reached for the remote on his nightstand. He turned on the television that was on a dresser across from his bed and flipped the channel incessantly until he found a horror movie.

"I don't want to watch this," Clare said as she opened a box of vanilla wafers. She took some and offered the box to Eli.

"Too bad," Eli countered, "The Exorcist is my favorite movie, you know that."

Eli opened a jar of peanut butter and dipped one of the vanilla wafers into the jar before eating it.

"Ew that looks kind of gross," Clare said looking at his food creation.

"But it's delicious," Eli said, took another cookie and did the same thing to it. He offered this one to Clare, who opened her mouth so he could feed her.

"So is it good?" Eli asked after Clare ate it.

"Nope," Clare said, fighting a smile.

"Liar," Eli said and a scream came from the television, making Clare jump.

She pulled her knees to her chest and hid behind them.

"I've made you watch this movie with me a bunch of times," Eli said amusedly, "How are you still afraid of it?"

"Each time you make me watch it, it gets more terrifying," Clare whispered harshly.

"Wimp," Eli said, chomping down another cookie smothered in peanut butter.

Thankfully the movie was more than halfway over when they began watching it. About a half hour later the credits rolled and Clare went downstairs to retrieve her book bag.

When she came back upstairs Eli was nowhere to be seen. Clare dropped her book bag on the bed and climbed on.

"Eli, where are you? Whatever you're trying to do, it's not funny," Clare said, annoyed.

Clare felt a hand creep up her thigh, shrieked and smacked it away. Eli crawled out from under the bed and rolled on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

"Jerk," Clare spat.

Eli sat up and climbed on the bed next to her. Clare pulled out her books and opened her folders to look for her homework. She had a pissed off look on her face.

Eli sighed, "Clare."

She ignored him and began taking notes from her history book.

"Clare," he said again, putting his hand in her way but she just moved.

He purposely moved her hand so her writing would mess up but she just erased the mistake and kept writing.

"Clare," Eli said again and her silence made him realize that he was probably in deep shit right now.

"I'm sorry Clare," Eli said again, more desperately this time.

"You know I hate it when you do that. You know I hate being scared," Clare said putting her pencil down.

"I'm sorry," Eli repeated and pulled her face up to his. Clare looked sad and Eli felt terrible that he'd made her feel that way.

"Can you forgive me?" Eli said and Clare felt her anger dissolve as soon as Eli's green eyes bore into hers. She felt her shoulders slump and sighed.

"Obviously, you know I can't stay mad at you, even when you are an asshole," Clare said solemnly.

Eli sat behind Clare and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Good because I would hate it if you were mad at me," he breathed into her neck. Eli kissed Clare's jaw and rested his head on her shoulder.

Clare closed her eyes and relished this moment of closeness with Eli. She wanted nothing more than to lean back into his touch. These thoughts and desires were becoming more frequent and even more problematic. Eli was her friend, practically her brother. The thought of being with him in any way that wasn't as friends should have terrified if not disgusted her. These sudden thoughts were freaking her out. Clare snapped open her eyes and coughed awkwardly.

"Do you mind?" Clare asked, trying to continue her homework.

"Of course not, by all means, work," Eli laughed, not moving an inch.

Clare sighed and pulled herself away from Eli's hold. She continued working while Eli fell back on the bed. He continued to do stupid things to distract Clare. He moved her book, jostled her, and poked her. Finally Clare had enough and turned completely away from Eli. He ghosted his fingertips up and down her spine and Clare let out an involuntary shiver.

"Clare, I'm bored," Eli whined, pressing his fingers deeper into the middle of her spine.

"You should've brought your work. I said homework night and I meant it," Clare said, never looking up from her notes.

"Nerd," Eli laughed and dropped his hand, ending his playful assault.

Eli let Clare work quietly. While she worked he picked up one of the many Palahniuk books he had lying around and began re-reading his favorite parts. He became engrossed in his reading and when Eli looked up at the clock, about an hour had passed. He looked over at Clare, who was slumped over her homework.

Eli sat up in his bed and shook Clare. He was worried now. Clare had fallen asleep all day and mentioned that she hadn't been sleeping well.

"Clare, wake up," Eli said.

Clare turned her head and opened her eyes slowly. When her eyes adjusted to the light, she sat up and looked around the room confused before letting her gaze fall on Eli.

"What's with you today?" Eli asked, concerned. "You slept almost all afternoon, and you fell asleep again now. And you said you haven't been sleeping well. Are you PMS-ing or something?"

"That fact, that you can ask me that question so freely makes me realize that we know way too much about each other. But for your information, no I'm not," Clare sighed and fell back on the bed.

"Trust me, I wish I couldn't ask you that question as freely as I can," Eli laughed and fell back on the bed next to Clare, "But we got that talk together."

"One of the many awkward conversations we've had with your mom," Clare shuddered at the memory.

_12 year old Clare had been feeling really weird the last few days. Her body was experiencing a dull ache all over. But Clare blamed the changing season and ignored it. She'd feel better once September decided if it wanted to be hot or cold. _

_A few days later Clare woke up in the morning feeling terrible. She felt feverish and extremely gross. Her stomach was aching and she felt sharp pains all over her abdomen and lower back._

_Clare made her way over to her bathroom just in case she needed to throw up. She sat by the floor and rested her head on the toilet cover. She looked down and noticed a dark stain on the bottom of her purple shorts. Clare carefully stood up and examined her shorts. There was a dark stain over her private area._

_Clare swallowed audibly and gasped when she took off her shorts. There was blood everywhere. She pulled up her shorts quickly and ran back to her room. Her bed sheets were also stained in the area where she had slept. _

_She felt tears start prickling behind her eyes. Clare wasn't stupid; she knew what had just happened. She'd gotten her period. Clare ripped the sheets off of her bed, balled them up and shoved them in the bottom of her hamper. Next she went back to the bathroom and took off her clothes, throwing her shorts and underwear in the trash. Clare climbed in the shower and made the water cold to reduce the feverish feeling she had. _

_It was then that Clare finally let herself cry. She was scared. What was she supposed to do now? Another sharp pain shot through her body and Clare hugged herself, trying to make it go away. After a while she shut off the shower and climbed out. She realized that she didn't have any pads or tampons or whatever you used to make this thing stop. Clare changed into fresh clothes, putting one two pairs of underwear, a pair of shorts and a pair of sweatpants._

_She sat on her naked bed and wondered what she had to do. The first thing she knew of course was that she had to go out and buy whatever it is that she needed. Clare stood up abruptly and picked up the phone that she had in her room. She dialed a familiar number and hoped that he wouldn't pick up._

"_Hello," a feminine voice chirped._

"_Cece?" Clare asked._

"_Clare? Hi sweet cheeks, how are you? Let me get Eli, one sec-," Cece said._

"_No!" Clare shouted into the phone, almost crying again._

"_Clare what's wrong?" Cece asked, voice full of worry._

"_Can you come pick me up please?" Clare sniffled into the phone._

"_Clare is everything okay baby?" Cece asked, and Clare could hear her boots hitting the Goldsworthys' hardwood floors as she probably walked to the door._

"_It's just uh…," Clare was suddenly embarrassed and felt kind of stupid for being such a baby over something natural, "I..um..I just got…m-my period and I'm kind of s-sc-scared," she finally choked out._

"_Oh sweetie, its okay," Cece sighed in relief, and Clare felt even more stupid for overreacting, "I'll be right over to pick you up."_

_Clare paced in her room making herself partially dizzy. It was times like these that Clare really wished that her mom was alive. She had long accepted the fact that her mom was gone but it was this moment when she wanted her mom most. Every time something big happened Clare would mentally list everything that her mother should but wouldn't be there for, her first date, first boyfriend, first heartbreak, prom, high school graduation, being dropped off at college, college graduation, the day she got married and her first pregnancy and birth. _

_By the end of her list Clare was sobbing. She felt so orphaned sometimes. Sure she had her father and she loved him dearly, but there were just some things that she couldn't talk to him about. Clare heard a knock at the door and heard her father open it._

"_Hey Cece, what can I do for you?" Randall asked, confused._

_Clare ran down the stairs in tears and straight into Cece's arms. _

"_Clare what's wrong?" Randall asked, now anxious. _

_Clare shook her head and held more tightly onto Cece._

"_Don't worry Randall. I'm just going to take her for the day, I'll bring her back in time for dinner," Cece explained, holding Clare._

"_Uh…Okay," Randall said scratching his head and closed the door once Cece and Clare had left._

_Clare pulled away from Cece and wiped her eyes._

"_You okay hunny?" Cece asked and Clare shook her head, "Well, first lets go to the store and then we'll go get ice cream to celebrate you becoming a woman!"_

_Clare nodded and got in her car._

_The drive to the pharmacy was quiet but not awkward. Clare was itching to ask Cece a bunch of questions. Inside the pharmacy Clare stared at the rows of different pads that did and offered different things. Clare grabbed the box that looked the least intimidating and put her hood up to cover her face as she paid for it._

_Clare walked back to Cece's car. "That was mortifying," Clare said as she closed the door._

"_Well Clarabelle, you are just going to have to get used to it," Cece teased._

_Cece took her to the ice cream parlor that she used to take her and Eli to as kids. Cece answered all of Clare's questions patiently. They drove back to the Goldsworthy household and Clare was surprised to see her dad's car parked on the street._

_Randall and Bullfrog were in the living room watching a hockey game._

"_Fun girls day?" Bullfrog asked when he spotted them come into the house._

_Clare nodded shyly and stalked after Cece into the kitchen._

"_You're going to have to tell your dad," Cece whispered._

_Clare nodded and threw herself at Cece._

"_Thank you," Clare mumbled, and for a moment she pretended that Cece was her mom._

"_Anytime sweetheart," Cece said hugging her back. _

_Clare pulled back after a minute and went upstairs to find Eli. She opened the door to his room and saw him playing videogames on his bed. There was a mess of cables that ran from the TV to the bed._

"_Hey," Clare said and climbed on the bed next to Eli, feeling a little bit awkward._

"_Hi," Eli said, never looking away from the zombie mob he was trying to kill in the game._

_They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds heard were the screams coming from the game._

"_Are you okay? Cece ran out of here saying that she was going to get you," Eli explained, trying to fight a zombie that was killing his character._

_Clare contemplated lying for a moment before blurting out, "I got my period and I needed to talk to someone."_

_Eli pressed 'pause' on the game and stared at the screen. Clare waited for a response, twiddling her thumbs nervously._

_Eli scratched his head and turned around to face her. "Uhh," Eli mumbled awkwardly, "Congratulations?" He turned back to his game after a moment, unaffected by her landmark event._

"_Thanks," Clare muttered, sighing a breath of relief, "and thanks for letting me borrow your mom."_

_Eli paused the game once more, "Anytime. What's mine is yours Clarebear."_

_He smiled genuinely at Clare and turned back to the videogame, only to have the remote snatched from his hand. Eli turned to see Clare with a mischievous smile on her face._

"_You did say what's mine is yours," she reiterated._

_A few weeks later came an even more mortifying conversation between Eli, Clare, and Cece._

_Clare told her dad about her new monthly predicament when they got home that night a few weeks ago. Randall had been shaken at first and silently thanked Cece for taking on what otherwise would've been a very awkward explanation between him and Clare. This is why Randall asked Cece to give Clare "the talk". _

"_Cece please do this for me. I'm just going to freak her out or say something wrong," Randall explained._

_Cece had been adamant at first but caved when Randall said that Clare really loved and admired her, which was true. Cece always had a soft spot for Clare. She was like the daughter she never had._

_This is what brought them to this absolutely mortifying moment a few weeks later. Clare and Eli were upstairs playing videogames and avoiding homework when Cece called them downstairs. She sat them on the couch and began her small speech, beginning with how both of them had cowardly lions for fathers because both of them had escaped to the sports bar for the afternoon._

_They sat quietly on the couch while Cece spoke brazenly about penises, vaginas, pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, contraceptives and abstinence. With each sentence the Cece uttered, Eli and Clare either became more flushed and pale or more red with embarrassment._

_Cece ended her speech and walked away, unaffectedly leaving two shocked teenagers in her wake._

_Clare and Eli sat rigidly on the couch for what seemed like hours. Both of them were afraid and mostly embarrassed of being the first to speak. Clare finally cleared her throat and made it a point to not look at Eli. She felt her face was redder than tempera paint._

"_Okay, I have to go home now," Clare said quickly and jumped up from the coach._

"_Yeah, you do that," Eli said looking in the other direction._

_Eli and Clare couldn't look, let alone speak, to each other about what had happened until two weeks later._

"You're mom is amazing," Clare laughed, as she recalled the old memory.

"She's weird," Eli mumbled.

"She's eccentric," Clare defended, "and she loves you, Lord knows why though."

"Everyone loves me," Eli sighed, "and she loves you too, dork."

"I know," Clare yawned, "can we sleep now?"

"What about the rest of your homework?" Eli gestured to the few papers she had left.

"Who cares? I'm passing those classes, one missing assignment won't kill me," Clare mumbled, and crawled under the covers.

"Clare Edwards isn't doing homework? Surely, you jest," Eli snickered and crawled under the covers next to her.

Clare's eyes started fluttering closed as the Mr. Sandman began invading her mind. She was almost to dream land when Eli shook her suddenly.

"What?" Clare snapped.

"You never told me what's wrong with you?" Eli accused.

"It's nothing Eli, let it go," Clare mumbled and turned over, facing away from him.

Eli furrowed his eyebrows and moved in closer until Clare could feel his small puffs of breath grazing her neck. "You know you can tell me anything right?" He mumbled.

"Yeah, I know," Clare whispered back, her entire body felt like it was melting when Eli was this close. She silently prayed to God that he would move away because she didn't know how much more she could take before she exploded. Her newly found feelings for Eli always seemed to heighten when he was close like this. No matter how much Clare tried to fight them and make them go away, she knew they were here to stay.

"Good, because I love you Clare, so much," Eli pulled her close, letting his arm wrap around her.

Clare swallowed a lump in her throat and leaned into his warmth. "I know, I love you too," she replied, hating that her love was different from his.

Clare noticed that Eli had fallen asleep a few minutes later when his soft snores filled the air.

Clare placed her own hand over Eli's and shut her eyes, praying for a sleep that never came.

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><p>There is plenty of drama to come in the next two chapters. I'm outlining it all in my head and can't wait to give you the finished product!<p>

Both this story and I Have Friends in Holy Spaces should be updated sometime this coming week.


	3. Chapter 3

I was going to write Chapter 3 of I Have Friends in Holy Spaces before I wrote this but I needed to get this chapter out now! There is a bunch of drama in the foreseeable future. I don't know what to say except thank you for all of lovely reviews I've gotten. They make me smile and I really appreciate them.

Don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry's music.

* * *

><p>A few weeks had gone by from that sleepless sleepover at Eli's house. Clare's sleeping pattern was far from normal and, in addition, her appetite was almost completely gone and she was suffering from migraines that made her want to curl up and cry. She was also emotionally drained.<p>

Clare felt her feelings for Eli growing stronger every day. Her heart swelled and her stomach dropped every time he turned to give her the smile he gave no one else. She continued to push her feelings down, willing them to go away. Clare knew she couldn't feel that way about Eli because he'd never feel the same way. Clare faced that realization and surrendered, for she would rather have Eli love her as only a friend than not have him in any way at all. She really wanted these feelings to go away.

Clare was trying to make the feelings go away but she didn't help herself in coping by spending all of her time with Eli. If she wasn't at practice, in class, or forcibly at home, Clare was at Eli's side. They always were, and it was only until now that it had become a one-sided problem. Eli didn't seem to suspect anything, other than that Clare was sick, and she was fine with that. Eli would never know that she longed for him. And as ironic and pitiful as it was, being with Eli numbed all of her illnesses.

Clare wanted to distance herself but she couldn't stay away. This is why she was now laying on his roof with him on a Saturday night, looking up at the stars that were starting to show in the night.

"You should go to the doctor," Eli reprimanded after shaking Clare out of disorientation for the second time that day.

"I'm fine Eli," Clare sighed, and decided to be honest, "I actually feel a lot better when I'm with you."

"Of course you do toots, I'm what the doctor recommends for everyone," Eli replied smugly.

Clare rolled her eyes and lay back on the roof. She tried to find the constellations her mom had once pointed out to her as a little girl but what she was faced with was a whole lot of Eli. His face was over hers and she could feel his exhales tickling her cheeks.

"You know I'm just worried about you right?" Eli asked, leaning forward until their foreheads touched.

Clare hated when he did this. Eli would get all up in her face and she would lose all of her ability to function like a normal person. Her heart would begin to beat erratically, there was suddenly not enough oxygen in her lungs, and her mind was turned over as if a tornado had hit it.

Clare nodded stupidly, trying to regain some sense of normality. However, she couldn't help but stare at his beautiful features that were so close to her own.

Eli's defined chin gave his young face an air of rugged masculinity, his skin was soft to the touch and unblemished except for the light dusting of freckles at the tops of his cheeks, his nose too, was perfect, his lips plump and full, but not overbearing and Clare let herself get caught up in the moment. She ran her index finger up his throat and to his lips, outlining them with the tip of her finger and pushing down on the bottom one. Clare let her eyes travel up from his lips to her favorite part of Eli. His beautiful green eyes were shining with curiosity at this exact moment. Clare loved those eyes; she loved the way that she could lose herself in them completely, like she was trapped in a lush dark forest. She loved how they sparkled when he was happy, dulled when he was sad, and darkened when he was angry.

Clare's fingers were placed gently under his chin and she wanted nothing more than to close the small gap that was between them. Eli turned his head slightly and kissed her fingertip, catching Clare by surprise before pulling away completely and lying next to her.

Clare was frozen in place, unsure of what was supposed to happen next. Her mind was thinking at a million thoughts a minute. She felt like her heart was trying to jump out of her body.

When she'd reigned in her thoughts and regained proper function Clare noticed that Eli was laughing and pointing to constellations. It was like the last five minutes hadn't even happened. That's what Clare hated the most. Those were the moments in which Clare realized that Eli only loved her as a friend, because he went back to normal after those close encounters.

Eli was like a fine wine that she couldn't have, not even a taste, because Clare knew that if she ever had even the slightest sip, he would become her addiction.

Clare let out a long, sad sigh, "I have to go home." She sat up and went to climb into Eli's room.

"Adam and Drew are coming over soon for movie night," Eli reminded her.

"Count me out and call it 'Guys Night'. I'm really tired," Clare said, zipping up her jacket.

"Do you need me to walk you home?" Eli asked worriedly.

"No, I'm okay," Clare picked up her bag and trudged down the stairs of the Goldsworthys' house.

Clare opened the front door and started on her walk home when she felt Eli grab her arm.

"Call me when you get home," Eli said gently.

Clare nodded and pulled away, not making eye contact.

She took off down the street, feeling Eli's eyes on her until she turned the corner.

Needless to say, when she got home, Clare "forgot" to call Eli and avoided him the rest of the weekend.

By the time Monday morning rolled around Clare was feeling better, but not by much. Mostly she felt guilty for not calling Eli back. He was either going to be worried or pissed that she hadn't called him.

Clare walked slowly to her locker expecting Eli to be there waiting for her. When she saw that he wasn't, Clare breathed in relief. She could deal with the consequences of her actions later.

What she didn't expect was for Drew slam her locker shut and for Adam to flash a light in her eyes.

"Clare Diana Edwards where were you on the night of Saturday and the following Sunday this past weekend?" Drew asked, and Adam shone the light directly in her eyes.

"What the-," Clare started.

"And why did you not call Eli back? Consequently killing 'Guys Night'," Adam finished.

"I fell asleep you morons," Clare snapped, swatting away the flashlight.

Adam and Drew laugh and Clare sighed.

"How mad is he?" she asked.

"Pissed, more worried than pissed though," Adam consolidated.

"If he was so worried why didn't he just call my house?" Clare asked.

"Because someone hasn't told their father that she's been feeling like crap lately and maybe her best friend didn't want to get her in trouble," Drew explained.

"Well, I still feel sick, so tell him to go easy on me," Clare said.

"Don't worry, he'll see you and forget that you didn't call because quite frankly girl-dude you look terrible," Drew said trying to make her feel better and failing.

"You sure you're okay?" Adam said, putting the back of his palm up to her forehead, "Your forehead says you're burning up."

"And the rest of you says that you're freezing," Drew said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

"Can we stop assaulting Clare, she needs to get to first period," Clare pulled away and walked to her first class, "I'll talk to him later."

"You better!" Adam called after her, "Sulking Eli is not fun!"

Clare rolled her eyes and entered her classroom for first period, Spanish.

She sat at her desk and put her head down on top of her books. There were still a few minutes left before class started, a small nap wouldn't hurt. Clare shut her eyes and let sleep consume her.

Clare didn't know how long she'd slept but she awoke when she felt something sharp poking her arm. She opened her eyes to see Alli Bhandari poking her.

"What?" Clare snapped quietly.

"Ms. Martinez just asked you a question," Alli whispered.

Clare turned her head to the front of the class, where Ms. Martinez stood tapping her foot impatiently.

"Discúlpeme Senorita," Clare stuttered in the foreign language.

"Está bien, pero mantente despierta en mi clase por favor," Ms. Martínez said.

Clare had no clue what Ms. Martinez had said but she just nodded along.

"Alright class, I am assigning a long term project for next semester. You and an assigned partner will pick a Spanish speaking country and do an entire report on the culture and history of that nation," Ms. Martinez spoke with a heavy, but understandable, accent.

The class groaned.

"This project will be worth half of your grade, so work hard," Ms. Martinez announced and began to read off partners.

Clare didn't pay attention until she heard her name being called. "Clare and Alli," the teacher said and continued down her list.

Clare turned to smile awkwardly at Alli. They didn't hate each other per se, but they had known each other since fourth grade and Clare had made Alli cry once or twice over the course of their acquaintance.

Alli returned the smile and pushed her desk closer to Clare's. "So what country do you want to do?" she asked.

"You can pick, I don't really care," Clare said sincerely.

"Spain it is!" Alli squealed and practically ran up to the front of the classroom to tell Ms. Martinez before anyone else took it.

She came back to sit by Clare and looked at her with furrowed eyebrows, "You okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine," Clare assured her.

"Okay, do you want to start working tonight? No use waiting until the last minute to work," Alli said.

"Yeah, sure, we can work at my house if you want," Clare mumbled.

Alli nodded and gathered her stuff before the bell rang, "I'll wait for you on the steps after school."

Clare nodded just as the bell rang.

She carried on with her day, and didn't see Eli once. Clare started to worry that he might actually be really mad at her. At the end of the day when Clare had reached her locker, Eli was already there, leaning against his own.

"Hi," Clare said quietly when she'd reached her lock and begun spinning the dial.

"Hey," Eli said coldly.

"Are you mad?" Clare asked the obvious.

Eli rolled his eyes, "No, just worried. Drew said you told him you passed out the rest of the weekend. You need to see a doctor Clare."

"It's nothing Eli. I already told you. It's just stress," Clare said, "but I am sorry."

"Whatever. Want me to walk you home?" He asked as they started walking towards the exit.

Clare spotted Alli waiting for her, Fiona Coyne at her side. "Not today. Alli's coming over to work on a project," she told him.

"Please don't murder each other," Eli whispered in her ear, "you're sick, you might actually lose."

Clare pulled away and rolled her eyes. Eli laughed once and kissed her cheek.

Clare descended down the steps until she reached Alli.

"Hey, can Fiona come too? I'm helping her with her history project," Alli asked.

"Um…sure," Clare said, "Hey Fiona."

"Hi Clare," she smiled warmly. Clare didn't really know Fiona that well. They were on the volleyball team together but Fiona mostly kept to herself. All Clare really knew was that she was in Eli's grade, was a diplomat's kid, and had a twin brother that girls fawned over. Adam was also head over heels for the girl, but was too shy to talk to her because of his situation.

"Should we go?" Alli asked.

"Yeah," Clare turned back and waved goodbye to Eli, who was now walking with Adam and Drew. She began walking in the direction of her home, with Alli and Fiona close behind.

A few weeks had gone by. Alli and Clare were working long hours on their project. They worked mostly in the afternoons and, sometimes, were joined by Fiona, and sometimes by Eli. Alli had been a witness on more than one occasion of the way Eli was with her. How he'd grab her and pull her close, kiss her cheek, or whisper in her ear to make her laugh. Alli usually just smiled softly and would go back to work, leaving them alone.

On this day in particular Alli and Clare had been working for about an hour and a half. Fiona sat on Clare's couch reading quietly. Fiona didn't really talk a lot, but she was very sweet, Clare had come to learn.

"So," Alli started, trying to break the silence, "how long have you and Eli been together?"

Clare looked up from a book she was highlighting things in, "What?"

"I asked how long you and Eli have been together," Alli repeated.

Clare threw her a confused look, "Eli and I aren't together."

"Liar," Alli said and hooked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Why would I lie?" Clare asked and stood up to put the book back on the shelf.

"Because of the way you guys are with each other. I've known you for a long time Clare, we haven't been friends for much of that but even when we were little it was always you and him. I kind of assumed that you guys had just taken it to the next level," Alli explained.

"Well, you assumed wrong," Clare whispered crossly.

"You can't blame me for assuming things. He pulls you in so close sometimes. The way he is with you. That does not come off as just friendship, to anyone," Alli stated.

"Well, that's just how he is," Clare responded. Clare was angry now; having realized that other people saw the way Eli was with her and took it as something more than it was. It wasn't normal, and people were getting the wrong assumptions. Assumptions that were never going to happen.

Fiona closed her book, set it on her lap and turned to Clare, "You like him," she stated calmly.

"What? No. He's my best friend, I don't like him," Clare stuttered and stared down at her shoes.

"Oh my God, you do like him," Alli caught on.

"No, I don't," Clare said, irritated.

"Then why are you so defensive?" Fiona asked softly.

"Because, I don't know. But I don't like him," Clare said, trying to convince them, and herself. She sat on the couch between Fiona and Alli and put her head in her lap, hiding her face from them.

"It's okay if you do, you know," Alli stated, patting her back soothingly.

"No, it's not okay if I do," Clare mumbled.

"Why not?" Fiona asked, moving the curls away from Clare's face so she could be heard well.

"Because," Clare sat up and sighed, "It'll never happen between us."

"And why's that?" Alli asked.

"Because we are destined to be friends, best friends, and only that," Clare managed to say.

"Are you so sure about that Clare?" Fiona asked. "Because when I see you with him at school, you two always seem to be way more than friends. And he's so protective of you. Are you sure it's nothing more on his part?"

"I don't know," Clare whimpered, "sometimes I get the feeling that it is, that he wants something more than just friendship from me as well. Especially when we're alone, but then, the way he easily pulls away from those moments is enough to tell me that he just cares about me a lot."

"Maybe it's more than that. It doesn't hurt to ask or talk about it," Alli instructed.

"I don't know," Clare said doubtfully.

"Have you kissed him?" Alli asked nonchalantly and Clare almost choked on her own spit.

"What?" Clare asked after she'd regained breathing ability.

"Just answer the question," Fiona demanded gently.

"No," Clare whispered.

"Well, you should. If you're sure that all he wants is friendship from you, then one kiss won't kill your friendship," Fiona stated, "and it'll give you some closure."

"Yeah, I'm not sure about that," Clare twirled a curl around her finger, "Can we drop it now please? And get back to work?"

Alli and Fiona nodded once. Alli and Clare went back to typing on their computers, while Fiona picked up her book and began reading where she'd left off.

"Well I still think he likes you," Alli stated after a few minutes.

"Me too," Fiona agreed without putting down her book.

"Drop it," Clare snapped.

They worked silently the rest of the day.

The next week at school was hectic. Final exams were coming up and Clare was either busy studying or working with Alli. Volleyball season was over, but schoolwork had taken the front seat in her life. This didn't leave much time for Clare to spend with Eli and he wasn't too happy about it.

"We haven't hung out in weeks," Eli sighed exaggeratedly at their lockers.

"I was at your house Tuesday," Clare reminded him.

"No you were doing homework at my house," Eli corrected.

"And you distracted me most of the time," Clare scolded playfully.

"I'm just saying. I miss my best friend," Eli cooed sweetly in her ear, "How about you come over Saturday night."

"Can't. Alli invited me to a party she's having at her place," Clare said sorrowfully.

"You're spending so much time with Bhandari. I remember when you guys couldn't stand each other," Eli said.

"It's mostly for school, and she's not so bad once you get to know her," Clare defended, surprising even herself with that statement. Never once did Clare think she'd be friends with Alli Bhandari and Fiona Coyne.

"Yeah, I'm so sure," Eli stated mockingly.

"Why don't you come with me on Saturday? Alli said I could bring someone if I wanted to," Clare asked.

"I don't know," Eli scratched the back of his head.

"C'mon," Clare begged playfully, "Or I won't see you much after. My dad's dragging me to my grandma's for Christmas break."

"Fine," Eli sighed, surrendering, "but only because I miss you."

Clare didn't know how she got through the rest of the week but by the time Saturday night rolled around, she was more than ready to have fun. She walked up the steps to Alli's house, Eli following close behind. The vibration of music could be felt from the house. Clare twisted the knob and was happy to conclude that it was open because she doubted that her knocks would've been heard otherwise.

Clare entered the house and was instantly greeted by Fiona.

"Hi Clare," she said loudly over the music and kissed Clare's cheek, a custom she'd picked up from living in Mexico for a year when she was seven.

"Hey Fi," Clare replied.

"It's out of control, Alli invited everyone she's ever talked too," Fiona whisper-yelled, gesturing to the party. There were people littered all around, and the Bhandaris' house was bigger than the average.

Clare laughed and shrugged her shoulders, "That's Alli."

Clare felt her arm being pulled back and almost jumped out of her skin when Eli's fingers interlaced with her own. Eli didn't seem to notice her reaction, like he always didn't. But Fiona noticed and when Eli turned his head, she brought her hands up to form a heart and tormented Clare playfully.

Clare's eyes widened and she tried to swat Fiona's hands away with her free hand but Fiona was significantly taller and just raised her hands from Clare's reach.

"What are you doing?" a voice suddenly asked. Clare and Fiona froze and looked over to see Eli staring at them incredulously.

"Nothing," Clare said and Fiona dropped her hands.

Eli gave them a look and rolled his eyes. He started to walk further into the house, pulling Clare with him. She turned to see Fiona making a heart with her hands again, smirking, and Clare flipped her off with a smile on her face.

Alli spotted Clare and Eli and scribbled something down on a piece of paper. She starting ripping the paper into strips and putting them into a bowl. Eli pulled away when he spotted Sav and went to talk to him.

"Okay guys, time for seven minutes," Alli yelled. The crowd of people by Alli cheered, teenage hormones obviously. Alli called out a few names, and Clare was happy hers hadn't been called yet. Seeing the way some couples came out, disheveled and stupidly happy, made her kind of nervous.

"Clare," Alli read out loud, "and-."

Fiona put her hand in the bowl and pulled out a name, interrupting Alli, "Eli." Fiona crumpled up the piece of paper quickly and put it in her pocket.

"It's not fair! They're already going out," some obnoxious dude yelled from the group of people.

Clare's eyes widened, not knowing where Eli even was in the house at this moment. She looked at Fiona and Alli with wide eyes, but they just smirked at her. Fiona winked and Alli mouthed a 'you're welcome'. Some guys went to find Eli and before Clare knew it, she had been shoved in a tiny closet that had been emptied out for the occasion, with Eli.

Clare didn't know what to do; she couldn't hear anything over the sound of her own heartbeat.

"You okay Clare?" Eli asked gently, pulling her face up to his to look at her.

"Fine," Clare muttered and was glad that the closet was dark so Eli couldn't see her reddened cheeks, though he could probably feel the heat radiating from them.

Clare felt her inhibitions and willpower dwindle. She leaned forward and closed the gap between her and Eli, pressing her lips to his. Kissing Eli was better than she had imagined, his lips were soft, warm, and…unresponsive.

Clare stiffened when she felt Eli just standing there. She pulled back quickly and stepped away from him. Neither of them knew what to say next.

Clare was about to apologize and try to resuscitate their friendship when she felt Eli pull her back against him. He leaned down and captured her lips with his. Clare closed her eyes and responded to the kiss eagerly. Eli ran his tongue against her bottom lip, and Clare opened her mouth shyly. Eli's tongue plunged into her mouth, coaxing hers to slide with his. Eli's hands slid to Clare's waist holding her gently, and Clare looped her arms around Eli's neck, bringing him closer.

They only separated a few times for air, when it was absolutely necessary and went back to each other. Clare didn't know how much time was left but she could feel it ending soon.

"Hey! Step away from each other and fix any articles of clothing, I'm going to open the door," Alli warned from outside, banging on the door.

Eli and Clare pulled away, but not before Clare pressed one chaste kiss on Eli's lips.

Alli threw open the door suddenly and Eli stepped out first. Clare let her eyes adjust to the light. She was about to follow Eli when she felt her arm being pulled in the opposite direction.

Clare turned her head and saw that it was Fiona that was pulling her away from the party. They rounded the corner and came to a door; Fiona opened it and pulled Clare inside. Before she could close it, a heeled shoe got in the way. Alli pushed her way in and closed the door, locking it. Clare looked around and assumed the room belonged to Alli. No other girl, no matter how girly, would have as much pink as Alli.

Fiona and Alli hurriedly sat on the bed and looked up at Clare excitedly.

"What?" Clare asked feigning confusion, a smirk threatening to expose itself on her face.

"Don't toy with us Clare," Alli squealed, "Did you two kiss?"

"Depends...tell me whose name you really picked out," Clare demanded, twirling a curl around her finger.

"Declan," Fiona admitted.

"So?" Alli urged, moving up and down on her bed excitedly.

Clare nodded shyly.

Fiona and Alli raised their hands up for a high five.

"I told you he liked you," Alli reminded her.

"Was it good?" Fiona asked raising an eyebrow.

Clare nodded once, a smile tugging on her lips.

The girls looked at each other and squealed in low tones, so they wouldn't be heard.

"Okay, well that's all we wanted to know!" Fiona stood up quickly.

"You're welcome!" Alli smiled.

"Thank you," Clare said in playful sarcasm.

They went back to the party and enjoyed the rest of their night. Clare didn't see Eli again until it was time for him to take her home.

"Where were you the rest of the night?" Clare asked when they were alone, walking down the dark streets illuminated only by the light posts.

"Around. I was helping Sav, he and Anya broke up again. Needed someone to vent to," Eli said emptily.

Clare didn't notice.

When they reached Clare's house, she turned to him before opening the door.

"Staying over tonight?" Clare asked.

"Can't. Bullfrog needs me tomorrow," Eli mumbled.

"Okay, then goodnight," Clare smiled and stood up on her toes to kiss Eli. She was too happy to notice that he didn't kiss her back.

"Bye Clare," he turned and walked towards his own house.

Clare ran up the stairs to her room and shut the door. She jumped on her bed and pulled a pillow to herself, sighing happily. Clare fell asleep easily for the first time in months.

The next week at school was also hectic, Clare barely saw Eli. He was busy with final exams too, so Clare wasn't too bothered by not seeing him.

It was the Friday before Christmas break and Clare hadn't seen Eli all week. Exams were finally over, so classes went by breezily. Teachers weren't starting new material days before a long break. She was walking in the hallway to buy water from the vending machine when she spotted Eli cleaning out his locker.

Clare gingerly walked over to him, "Hey."

"Hi Clare," he said.

"Can we talk?" Clare asked.

"Sure," Eli replied and closed his locker.

They walked to a secluded part of the hallway and sat on a bench. They turned towards one another to speak and cut each other off.

"You first," Eli whispered.

Clare mustered up what little courage she could and decided to spill her heart out.

"So...a few months ago, I started liking you, really liking you. And at first I hid it and didn't say anything because…well because I thought that there could be nothing between us because we've always been 'just friends' but now," Clare reached over and took Eli's hand in hers, "I'm starting to think that maybe we could…be more than that."

Clare looked up hopefully at Eli and continued, "I know that it would be weird at first, given that we've known each other for so long. So before anything goes anywhere, I want you to think about it. I'm leaving right after school for Christmas break at my grandma's, when I come back in two weeks, maybe we can finish this conversation?"

Eli swallowed audibly and looked at Clare, "Yeah Clare." He put his hand over hers and held it tightly.

"Good," Clare replied, smiling brightly.

"Now what did you want to tell me?" Clare asked.

"It's not important," Eli croaked just as the final bell rang, signaling the official start of break.

Clare leaned over and kissed Eli's cheek, "See you in two weeks."

Eli smiled and waved her off, watching her walk away. Clare turned around right before disappearing from Eli's line of sight and saw him still looking at her and that look gave her hope.

_Christmas Break:_

"This is so boring. Eli pay attention. Where've you been lately dude?" Adam asked, shoving Eli gently.

"Yeah, did you catch whatever Clare had? Not paying attention and weird sleeping schedule," Drew added laughing. Eli froze at the mention of Clare.

All break Eli had thought about Clare's confession and to be honest, Eli was beyond confused. He didn't know what to think or how he was supposed to feel.

A hand waved in front Eli's face, trying to capture his attention.

"I'm sorry, what?" Eli asked turning to Drew.

"You're losing it," Adam laughed.

"Clare told me she likes me. Like really likes me," Eli said abruptly.

Adam and Drew simultaneously dropped their remotes onto their laps.

"Uh…and?" Adam asked, urging him to go on.

"She and I made out at Alli's party," Eli confessed.

Adam and Drew furrowed their eyebrows in confusion and looked at each other. Sometimes it disturbed Eli at how the Torres boys could pull the same expression although they weren't biological siblings.

"We kind of thought you guys were already together," Drew remarked.

"What?" Eli asked.

"Yeah, the way you are with her. Adam and I figured you guys were together and just kept it from everyone," Drew muttered, shoving a handful of chips into his mouth.

"He's right. You two never act like you're just friends," Adam told him.

"Clare's pretty cute though," Drew said while he chewed his food, "I mean I'd never ask her out, because I'm afraid she'll like, hit me or something. She doesn't take me too seriously."

"No girl does," Adam retorted earning himself a smack to the back of the head, "that's why you can't get one."

"But no. Guys, just no, I grew up with Clare. She's like my sister," Eli explained.

"But the truth is she's not your sister," Adam replied.

"She told me to think about us over break, and talk with her when she came back," Eli sighed.

"Great, you have five days left to think," Drew patted his shoulder, "but tonight, let's go out. Get you out of this funk. There's a band playing for free at Above the Dot, Adam and I have seen them already. We would have invited you but it was one of your 'Clare and Eli' nights and we were feeling unwanted." Drew laughed.

"Yeah, c'mon Eli, it'll be better than moping around your house the rest of the week," Adam urged.

"I guess," Eli stood up to put on his shoes.

About a half an hour later they were entering Above the Dot. The small space was cramped with people. Eli could barely push through. Adam and Drew were rocking out, having already heard the band before.

Eli leaned back against the wall and paid little attention to the band on the makeshift stage. All he could think about was Clare and the awkward conversation they were going to have when she came back. He just hoped they could salvage their friendship. Eli couldn't bear the thought of losing that.

A petite body was shoved at Eli, and he caught it before it fell.

"Thanks," a dainty voice yelled over the music.

Eli hadn't really been paying attention, he had caught the girl out of instinct, but he took a second to really look at the girl in front of him.

The girl was about his height, skinny with a lanky, almost disjointed body. Her pale skin and dark hair gave her an air of a frightening but delicate porcelain doll. She was dressed like most of the girls at this show were, skirts or shorts over fishnets and tall combat boots coupled with a leather jacket.

"No problem," Eli said, ogling.

The mystery girl flashed a wide smile at him, her teeth like perfect rows of white Chiclets. Her eyes were caked with heavy dark make-up which only made her hazel eyes stand out even in the dark lighting of the venue. She slowly made her way through the crowd, away from Eli but he couldn't help but look on after her.

A sudden sharp punch to the shoulder brought him back to reality, Eli turned to see Drew and Adam standing next to him.

"What are you looking at?" Drew asked.

"Nothing," Eli muttered.

"Sure didn't look like anything," Adam said.

Eli shrugged and stared at the girl from afar.

"What about Clare?" Drew reminded him.

Eli bit his lip and looked away guiltily.

Adam and Drew caught on easily; Eli was going to turn Clare down.

"You're stepping into dangerous territory Elijah," Adam scolded.

They were silent, standing in the back the rest of the night. Eli could feel anger emanating from Adam. After Eli, Adam was the closest to Clare. He was more subtle but just as protective of Clare as Eli was. The fact that Eli was going to hurt Clare obviously pissed him off.

Drew stood in the middle of Adam and Eli, neutral on the subject, hoping that an argument wouldn't erupt between them.

When the show was finally over the boys walked out into the cold and brightly lit Main Street. They started walking towards the corner where they would part ways to go to their respective homes. They were talking about how good the band had been. Eli stopped conversing suddenly when he spotted the mystery girl from the show standing by herself, as if waiting for someone to pick her up.

Adam and Drew noticed her too. Eli said goodbye to them and started walking towards the girl.

"Dangerous territory," Adam warned him one last time before following his brother home.

Eli didn't listen. He took a deep breath and walk right up to the girl.

"Look who it is, my Savior," she giggled when she saw him walking in her direction.

Eli laughed, "I…uh…just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said lamely.

"I'm fine, being shoved around in mosh pits is kind of my thing," she smiled.

"Okay, that's good," Eli said.

The girl chuckled once and extended her hand to Eli.

"Want to try again, Casanova?" she smirked.

Eli nodded, laughed and shook her hand.

"Hey, I'm Eli," he introduced himself.

"Hi Eli, nice to meet you, thanks for saving me from an embarrassing fall," the mysterious girl played along and Eli liked that under the angry looking clothes and make-up she seemed to be a different person.

"My name is Julia."

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><p>I'll leave you with this. Expect an update for this sometime next week, IHFIHS should be updated this weekend.<p>

Read + Enjoy + Review :)


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all for the lovely reviews as always! I can't say when I'll update either story because I'm swamped with IB testing and I have to study, study, study! I'd say within the next week or so, but I make no promises. I will be posting a one shot within the next two days though. So keep a look out for that.

[Don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry]

Tumblr: fumbled-trust / Twitter: nomadichead

Read + Enjoy + Review :)

* * *

><p>Clare walked up the steps of Degrassi with fervor. She had barely gotten home yesterday night from her grandma's house and hadn't had the time to call or see anyone. She hadn't told anyone about the conversation she had had with Eli before she left.<p>

Clare walked by the banner that the art club had designed to welcome new students for the second semester. Holly J sat behind the table that was placed under it; she was handing out schedules and temporary IDs to the new students that were in line. She didn't look very pleased in the slightest. Holly J was currently snapping at a dark haired girl who looked like she had just stepped out of an Edgar Allen Poe poem. Clare shrugged and walked towards her locker, hoping that Eli would be there. It wasn't the time or place to finish that conversation, but Clare just wanted to see him.

He wasn't there.

But two others were.

Drew and Adam were sitting by her locker. Drew was playing with his PSP and Adam was reading a comic book.

"Hey," Clare said when she stepped over them to get to her locker.

Drew stood up first, "Hey girl-dude, how are you?"

"I'm okay," Clare replied and looked around the hallway.

"Who are you looking for?" Adam asked, standing up.

"No one," Clare said excitedly.

Adam and Drew exchanged a look that Clare didn't notice.

"Where's Eli?" Clare asked hoping that she came off nonchalantly.

Drew shrugged, "I don't know. We haven't heard from him since Saturday when we hung out with him and-."

Adam elbowed Drew in the ribs.

"What? Who did you guys hang out with?" Clare asked, noticing their scuffle.

"Declan," Adam blurted.

"Declan? You hung out with _Declan Coyne_? Clare asked incredulously.

"What? You became friends with Fiona. Why couldn't we become friends with Declan?" Drew said nervously.

"No, of course, you're entitled to be friends with whoever you wish. He just seems like he's none of your friend types. Why are you so jumpy this morning?" Clare took her materials out of her locker and slammed it shut.

"I had two cups of coffee," Drew lied.

Clare raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged nonetheless. "Whatever, I'm going to find Eli. Drew, drink water or something before you spontaneously combust." She laughed and walked down the hallway. When she turned the corner Drew let out a big breath of air.

"You can come out now," Drew shouted.

Eli walked out of the classroom near their lockers when he was sure the coast was clear of Clare.

"You almost told her about Jules!" Eli screeched.

"Sorry, sorry, I know you're talking to her after school," Drew said.

"Well, Clare's going to find out about _Jules_ anyway right?" Adam said indifferently, emphasis on her name, "Drew might've only sped up the process of you stomping her heart to bits."

"But I need to talk to her first. I'll talk to her after school," Eli said sorrowfully, "and Julia and I aren't even together. We've only gone out on a few short dates."

"But it looks like it's heading down that path anyway," Adam mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Adam you need to not be mad at me," Eli whispered.

"You know I wasn't going to be mad at you for turning Clare down until now, when it seems that you're not giving a chance to something that could be good with Clare, someone you've known forever, in favor of starting something with a complete stranger," Adam said in one huffed breath.

"Adam," Drew started, "it isn't really our-."

Eli sighed, "Adam I've already explained to you why I can't start something with Clare, it's because we've known each other forever. She and I know each other's deepest flaws and best attributes. If and when we would fight, we'd easily know how to hurt and manipulate the other. Clare is my best friend and I don't see her as anything more than that."

"Whatever," Adam grunted. He picked his book bag off the floor and briskly walked towards his first class.

"He'll get over it," Drew sighed, patting Eli on the shoulder, "You know Adam loves you and Clare equally. I kind of agree with him though, it seems like your jumping into something with Julia because you're scared of what you could have with Clare."

Eli sighed exasperatedly, "Drew, I-."

"No, I get it though. That's why I'm not picking a side. If I were you, I'd probably do the same thing. I'd hate to lose my friend over something that could have been prevented," Drew said, "Adam will get over his anger and Clare will get over you. You're not that good looking anyway. At least not like me."

Eli laughed, "Thanks Drew."

"No problem, see you in history," Drew clapped him one more time on the back and left.

Eli slumped against his locked and closed his eyes, wishing that he didn't have to do what he'd decided.

"Boo," a doll-like voice giggled.

Eli opened one eye and peered down at the girl who'd suddenly appeared.

"Hey Julia," Eli greeted.

"Hi," she quipped and smiled widely at him.

Eli couldn't help but smile back.

"What are you doing after school?" Julia asked, sounding hopeful.

Eli's smile fell, "Err…I have to do something."

Julia's smile fell and Eli felt guilty.

"I just have to hang out with my best friend is all," he wasn't going to mention how he was practically going to tear her heart to shreds, "I haven't seen her in two weeks. I promise I'll take you out tomorrow though."

Julia's smile returned to her face, "Alright. Have fun with Clare. I hope I get to meet her soon."

Eli shuddered at the thought, but nodded nonetheless, "Soon. I'll introduce you soon."

"Great, well I have to go find this first class. The ginger bitch in front said it wasn't her job to help me find my classes. I'll see you later Eli," Julia said and sauntered away.

Eli walked to class in the hopes of not seeing Clare until after school.

Clare was trying to balance her pencil on her nose. Chemistry could not go by fast enough. Clare was tired of playing 'Guess the Element' with the class and Mr. Betenkamp.

Alli giggled when Clare's pencil fell for the umpteenth time.

"Drop it one more time and Mr. Betenkamp is going to kick you out of class," Alli whispered.

Clare snorted but put her pencil down anyway. Mr. Betenkamp ended the game, proclaiming Connor the winner, and told them to pair off in groups and put the common elements in order by weight and density.

"So you ran away after school before Christmas break before I could ask you what happened between you and Eli," Alli accused, pushing her desk next to Clare's.

Clare shrugged, earning herself a smack in the shoulder from Alli.

"Clare," Alli whined, "are you and Eli together?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since I left. I was honest with him though, and I told him to think about it. I'm going to his house after school because I haven't seen him all day," Clare muttered.

"But what do you think?" Alli squealed.

"I don't know Alli. I hope he says yes." Clare sighed, "But I truly don't know. I have a good feeling though." Her eyes widened with hope.

Alli clapped her hands with childish delight. "You two sound like a Nicholas Sparks novel," she said dreamily.

Clare giggled into her palm and wrinkled her nose at the cheesiness of that statement, but sighed contently nonetheless. She snapped back to reality with a huge smile on her face and got Alli's attention so they could finish their worksheets.

Clare couldn't wait to see Eli.

"Good luck," Fiona hugged Clare as the final bell ended, concluding the first day of their return to school. It had snowed a fluffy frost all day, and there was now a light coating of white over everything. Clare took it as a good sign.

She breathed out and began walking in the direction of Eli's house. Clare walked slowly, admiring the scenery that the freshly fallen snow created. It was cold, but not freezing and Clare actually enjoyed the feeling of the cold wind on her face. Clare felt a fever rising as she thought about what was going to happen in a few minutes. Her hopes were high.

Without realizing it Clare was at Eli's front step. She knocked on the door calmly and took a few deep breaths to steady her heart rate. Clare hoped that the red in her cheeks could be blamed on the cold air.

Eli threw the door open and looked down at her silently. He stepped out of the threshold and opened the door wider, beckoning her into the warmth. Clare could smell wood burning and smiled as she stepped into the living room and noticed the Goldsworthys' fireplace was on. She dropped her book bag by the door and slipped out of her black pea coat. Clare took a seat on the coach and swallowed nervously when Eli sat by her side.

"So…," Clare started, "did you think about what I said?"

Eli's hair had grown out and needed a trim; Clare couldn't see his eyes as he turned to look at her. It made her bite her lip nervously, her stomach clenched uncomfortably.

"Yeah, I did. That's probably what I spent most of our vacation doing," Eli responded.

"I see…," Clare whispered, "and?"

"Clare…I…," Eli swallowed heavily, looking away, "I...just don't think that we can be together…in that way."

Clare felt her heart stop and drop at the same time. Her ears started pounding and she could barely hear what Eli was saying anymore, he sounded light years away. She felt her cheeks flare up and Clare wasn't sure if it was in embarrassment, anger, sadness or a combination of the three. Clare felt like her throat was closing up and had lost her ability to breath. She rapidly blinked away the tears that were threatening to expose themselves.

Eli looked back at Clare and took in her reaction. She looked like she was going to fall apart any second.

"Clare, I'm sorry," Eli made a move to put his hand over Clare's but she flinched away and put her hands in the pockets of her sweater.

"Why?" Clare asked quietly, "I just want to know why." She turned her face away when she felt a lone tear sliding down her face. She wiped it away with her shoulder and turned back to Eli.

Eli noticed and wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. He never wanted to be the cause of Clare's sadness, much less her tears.

"Clare, I love you. You know I do. But I can only love you the way I do now, my best friend and the most important person to me," Eli replied.

Clare took in his reply and breathed in deeply, absorbing it.

"But Clare, I want to know when this started. What made you start thinking that we could be more than friends?" Eli asked with genuine confusion and curiosity.

Clare wanted to punch him in his beautiful face.

"You, I got it all from you. The way you are with me, you hug, caress and kiss me like there's nobody else. What was I supposed to conclude?" Clare defended.

Eli furrowed his eyebrows, "But Clare, I thought that you knew that I only did those things because I hate seeing you sad."

"The way you treat me is not the way you treat someone who is only your friend," Clare retorted.

"Because you're not my friend Clare, you're so much more than that. You're like my other half," Eli replied.

"See. That's it. Right there. You throw those romantic cliché phrases around like they apply to us-," Clare whimpered.

"I guess you misinterpreted my intentions," Eli sighed.

"Or you don't know what you want. You can't just be my friend and treat me the way you would treat someone who's more than that. I need you to be straightforward with me and not play mind games," Clare muttered, "even if it is unintentional. The way you are with me, it needs to stop."

"But Clare-," Eli started.

"It needs to stop," Clare took a final breath in and smiled a beautiful, fake smile, "But you know what? This is probably for the best. And its okay Eli, I'll be fine."

She put her hand over his with a complacent smile on her face. "These feelings probably started because of all the time we spend together," Clare tried to play off, "After all of these years, it was almost bound to happen right?"

Eli cocked an eyebrow at the sudden change in her persona and felt guiltier than ever.

"Clare-," He started and took her hand in his.

Clare pulled it away and smiled lightly, "Eli it's okay, I'm glad we sorted this all out. I should go now."

She stood up abruptly and started speeding away when she felt Eli grab her wrist.

"Clare you're still my best friend," Eli whispered, wiping his bangs away from his face and looking at her, really looking at her, trying to read her expression.

"Forever," Clare said dryly and pulled away. She practically ran to the door, picked up her book bag and left Eli's house.

She walked out into the darkening afternoon and ran away from his house, not caring if Eli was still looking after her. It wasn't until she was a few blocks away that she noticed two things as she was trying to regain her breath. One, she had forgotten her coat at Eli's house in her rush to escape, and she wasn't going back for it. Two, it was pouring freezing rain. Her sweater was stuck to her skin and the water had washed away the fluffy snow, making everything murky and ugly. Clare heard the rumble of thunder from above her and let out a choked sob. She walked the rest of the way home in tears. Clare was distinctly able to distinguish between the freezing droplets from the sky and the hot tears that slid down her cheeks.

Clare reached her house a half an hour later. The normal fifteen minute walk had taken double the amount of time because she didn't want to go home. If it was empty she would cry, and if her father was home he'd question why her eyes were bloodshot and why she was without a jacket until she broke down and told him everything. That was one conversation she was going to avoid at all costs.

Clare sighed as she walked up the steps of her porch. She stopped suddenly when she noticed a figure huddling under the roof, trying to keep warm.

Adam was rubbing his arms up and down, creating heat friction but stopped as soon as he laid eyes on her

He gave her a small smile and that was all the indication Clare needed. It was obvious that Eli had told them about what they'd talked about before she left on vacation. Adam and Drew had known that he was going to say no. She connected that with their weirdness in the morning. But she didn't have the heart to be angry at them.

Clare walked into Adam's awaiting arms and started crying.

"Clare, you're only wearing a sweater! Where's your jacket?" Adam yelled over the rain as he held her close.

"I left it at Eli's house and didn't feel like going back for it," Clare explained through sniffles.

"Let's get you inside," Adam said.

Clare dug her key from the pocket of her jeans and unlocked her front door. She stepped inside the warmth of her house but it did nothing for her freezing body. Her teeth chattered away and she shivered visibly.

Adam pulled Clare upstairs to her bathroom, ignoring the puddles that were being left all over by their clothes. He sat Clare down on the seat in front of her vanity and turned to turn on the faucet of her bathtub. He made sure the water was hot before letting it fill up.

Clare sat emotionlessly, staring at the wall.

Adam coughed to get her attention. "You should take your clothes off and get in the water before you get sick."

Clare nodded and began peeling off her sweater. Adam turned around to give Clare privacy. He heard the zipper of her jeans and her grunts as she struggled to take off her tight, wet jeans. He heard as she stepped into the water, but didn't hear the curtain be pulled shut.

Adam sighed and picked up her clothes, shoes and turned to leave.

"Don't go," Clare whispered.

"Uhh…," Adam said uncomfortably.

"I'm not naked," Clare muttered and Adam turned around.

Clare was sitting in her bathtub and he could see that she was still wearing her shirt. He looked down at the clothes of hers he was holding and noticed the he only had her jeans and sweatshirt.

He sighed and sat down on the floor next to her.

"He told you?" Clare asked, turning to look at him.

Adam nodded.

"And you knew that he was going to tell me no. That's why you and Drew were so weird this morning," Clare accused emptily.

Adam pulled his knees up to his chest and sighed. Clare took that as a 'yes' and continued.

"Why didn't you tell me then?" Clare asked.

"He didn't want us to. Eli wanted to talk to you himself. It's why he avoided you all day. He didn't want to see you until after school so you didn't get any false assumptions," Adam explained.

Clare snorted, "Everybody made stupid assumptions about Eli and I, including myself, and now look at me."

"It's not like there wasn't proof," Adam defended.

"So you thought so too?"

Adam nodded, "Drew and I thought that you guys were, uh, together."

"Great. So did Alli, Fiona, and the people at Alli's party. I'm not just stupid then," Clare said.

"Clare, no one thinks you're stupid. Anyone would have thought the same," Adam sympathized.

"Then when I was talking to Eli, why did I feel so stupid," Clare asked quietly.

"Because Eli's dumb and he has that effect on people. He makes you feel like you're slow but he's the moron," Adam laughed.

Clare let out a single laugh, "Can you hand me my towel? The water's getting cold."

"Yeah," Adam reached behind him and grabbed the fluffy purple towel, "I'll be downstairs."

Clare nodded and took the towel from him.

After a few minutes Adam heard Clare tip-toeing down her staircase. Clare emerged in a pair of black sweatpants and a purple tank top. She had a grey sweater on and was also carrying two blankets. Adam dragged his book bag into the living room.

"What are you carrying in there?" Clare asked after she'd situated herself on the couch.

"Definitely not books," Adam laughed and pulled out every Saw and Hostel movie known to mankind.

"We're going to eat junk food and watch terrible gore-y movies until you feel better," Adam explained when he saw Clare's questioning gaze. He also pulled out handful of bars of chocolate, a box of popcorn, six pack of soda, as well as an assortment of other unhealthy but emotionally fulfilling goodies.

"I get the junk food, but why the gore?" Clare asked.

"Well, I wasn't going to get something that actually scares you. How the hell would that help? You laugh at these stupid movies and you'll laugh more when we pretend that it's Eli as all of these characters getting the crap beat out of them," Adam said.

"Not that we'd actually want this to happen to him in real life," Clare said sarcastically.

"Of course not, but just for tonight, we'll pretend," Adam winked, making Clare giggle.

He put in the first movie and sat down next to Clare, taking a bag of chips and tearing into it.

Clare wrapped them up together with both blankets and leaned her head on Adam's shoulder.

They were an hour into the second movie and Clare's voice was worn out from shrieking every three minutes. Adam heard sniffling next to him. He turned to look at Clare and saw her wiping her eyes.

"Clare, don't cry again," Adam whispered.

"I'm not. I just got emotional because you're so sweet," Clare said, gesturing to her coffee table, which was covered with half eaten sweets, "God, when did I turn into such a girl?"

"I wasn't going to let you get through the first night alone silly," Adam wrapped his arm around her, "and to answer your question, I say about the time you and Alli became friends."

"Either way, thank you for this," Clare smiled.

Adam shrugged like it was nothing and they continued watching the movie.

"So did you talk to her?" Drew snuck up on Eli, who was pulling out books from his locker.

Eli nodded solemnly.

"And?" Drew asked.

"I don't know. She left my house in a hurry afterwards. She even left her jacket," Eli pointed to her coat that was hanging in his locker.

"Dude, you let her walk home after that in the freezing rain?" Drew asked incredulously, "Cold hearted much?"

Eli turned to glare at Drew, "I didn't want to chase after her and give her the wrong idea."

"Clare's not stupid, Eli. You had just told her you didn't want to be with her. We don't live in some romantically clichéd movie," Drew said.

"Whatever. What's done is done. I just hope we can still be friends," Eli sighed, "Where's Adam?"

"He went to Clare's house to wait for her after you mangled her emotionally," Drew snorted and received a hard punch to the shoulder from Eli, "he took a bunch of horror movies and junk food. Said something about staying up all night watching them and pretending that you were the one getting torn up. He slept over there." Drew rubbed his shoulder and pouted like a puppy.

Eli rolled his eyes but turned suddenly when he heard Clare's laugh.

She and Adam were walking down the hallway making stupid gestures and cracking up.

"Fun sleepover?" Drew asked once they'd stopped.

"Yeah, I think we have cavities for life after all that sugar," Adam laughed.

"Hi Eli," Clare said cheerfully, too cheerfully.

"Hey Clare," he said softly.

Clare smiled at him like there was nothing wrong. Like yesterday hadn't happened.

Adam and Drew exchanged a look and left without saying a word.

"How are you?" Eli asked tentatively.

"I'm great," Clare replied and threw open her locker. The door slammed into the next one.

"So about yesterday…,"

"Eli, we're fine," Clare turned and smiled at Eli, hoping that he wouldn't notice how she was faintly shaking.

"Okay," Eli mumbled and smiled down at her, "good. I don't want to lose what we have Clare." He reached for her hand but Clare pulled it back instinctively.

"And we won't," Clare replied hollowly, not caring if he realized how she was really feeling, "See you later."

Clare left Eli standing in the hallway by himself.

"Earth to Clare," Alli waved her hand in front of Clare's face, "Houston we've got a load of problems to finish before the period is over."

Clare blinked twice and took in her surroundings. Alli was sitting on her left, staring at her with an amused expression on her face.

"What?" Clare asked.

"Oh nothing, we've just got twenty quadratics equations to figure out before the period ends. No big deal or anything. Where are you today Clare? Off in dreamland with Eli?" Alli giggled and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Clare frowned and her lower lip trembled. Wordlessly, she picked up her pencil and started working on the problems. She pulled her lip in between her teeth to keep it from trembling.

"Clare? Clare, what's the matter?" Alli asked, concerned now. "What happened with Eli?"

Clare turned to Alli, eyes brimming with tears that made them look glassy, "He said we should just be friends."

Alli put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Oh Clare," she whispered.

"It's not your fault," Clare said, "It was just me being stupid."

"Fiona and I…we shouldn't have pushed you," Alli said, "and you're not stupid."

"What's done is done," Clare squeaked and wiped her wiped her eyes and face with the sleeve of her sweater, "don't feel bad about it. Let's just do the equations."

And they girls worked in silence for the remainder of the period.

Eli and Drew sat at the lunch table waiting for Adam and Clare. Eli could feel that lunch was going to be awkward. Adam slid into his seat opposite Eli and Drew and stole one of Eli's cookies.

"This is just the beginning of you fixing this," Adam said, taking a bite of the cookie and chewing pointedly.

"Am I to assume that this means you've forgiven me?" Eli asked.

"Forgiving you," Adam corrected. "It takes more than just one cookie Eli, my forgiveness doesn't come cheap. This is going to cost you weeks' worth of cookies and other assortments of sweets."

Eli smiled and he and Adam bumped elbows.

"Is it wrong to feel like he and I are kids suffering through our parents' divorce?" Drew gestured to Adam and took a bite of his sandwich. "Because I have a feeling that that is what it's going to be like for the next few weeks."

As if on cue Clare walked by them breezily without saying a word and went to sit with Fiona and Alli.

"Mommy come back!" Drew yelled in her direction in a baby-like voice.

Clare looked at Drew and rolled her eyes, smiling.

Eli wished that he was the one who had made Clare smile.

"Oh Clare," Fiona threw her arms around Clare when she told her what happened.

"He's dumb and you're amazing," Fiona said matter-of-factly, "he'll realize who he lost a chance with."

"Thanks Fi," Clare said, sticking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Alli asked. "Bloody movies with psycho killers who we can pretend are attacking Eli and junk food?"

Clare giggled, "I did that with Adam yesterday. Thank you though."

Fiona took a bite out of her shiny red apple, "So what happens now?"

Clare sighed and blew a strand of hair out of her face, "I don't know. Try to make things go back to normal."

"Is that even possible?" Alli asked, shoving a forkful of salad into her mouth.

"What do you mean?" Clare asked.

"Can you go back to being just his friend?" Fiona clarified.

"I think…yeah…it'll take some time but," Clare said, "I'd rather have him as a friend than not at all."

"Those feelings of yours aren't going to go away over night," Alli reminded her.

"I know," Clare mumbled and felt her stomach clench with nausea.

"Alli, shut up," Fiona said and threw a balled up straw wrapper at her.

"Sorry," Alli said.

Clare shrugged and looked over at the boys' table. Eli was looking back at her with a sad expression on his face. Clare gave him a small smile which he returned. Clare felt her stomach drop and she swore her heart skipped a beat.

Fiona snapped her fingers in front of Clare's face to get her attention.

"I'm sorry, what?" Clare asked, tearing her gaze away from Eli.

"Are you sure you can just be his friend?" Fiona asked after noticing Eli and hers exchange.

"Nope," Clare sighed, "but I guess that's all I'll have to be."

Clare pushed her tray away, having suddenly lost any appetite she once had.

A few weeks went by and true to Drew's prediction, everything was really awkward. Clare and Eli couldn't be in the same room for more than a few minutes. Adam and Drew were forced to split their time between the both of them. It really did feel like being between parents at times.

Eli heard a knock on his front door and leapt from his bed to jog down the stairs. He threw open the door revealing Adam and Drew.

"It's your day Daddy," Drew said in an annoying childish voice before walking into the house, Adam right behind him.

The divorce joke had become a running gag between Adam and Drew. They would always show up to Eli or Clare's house and greet them as parents before going into detail about what they had done with the other.

"Shut up Drew," Eli said, rolling his eyes.

"Do you see how he treats me Adam?" Drew said dramatically, "I know which parent I'm going with when the judge asks whose custody I want to be under."

"It's true," Adam shrugged, "Mom gives us cookies and cooks."

"Can you cook?" Drew asked pointedly, narrowing his eyes.

"No, but I have this," Eli said and pulled out the new Call of Duty video game.

The Torres brothers' eyes widened like children on Christmas morning.

"I can starve," Adam said before snatching a remote off the table.

"Me too," Drew said, stealing the controller from Adam.

Eli laughed and sat down on the floor since Adam and Drew had practically taken over the couch.

There was a mess of chip bags and empty sodas all over Eli's living room floor. Drew had fallen asleep on the couch, which ended in Adam sliding under him to get to the floor, or risk being crushed by his brother. They'd been playing the video game for hours, having fun fighting with people from other countries through the headsets.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Adam asked nonchalantly as he shot someone on the opposing team.

"Taking Julia to a late concert," Eli replied as his character was killed for the umpteenth time that night.

"Sounds like fun," Adam said hollowly.

"What?" Eli asked, pausing the game, much to the dismay of the party they were playing with.

"You can't hide Julia from Clare forever," Adam scolded, "she's going to find out soon enough. She should hear it from you and not see you two smooching it up in the hallway one day."

"That was once," Eli responded, "and I am going to tell her. How is Clare anyway?"

"Why don't you call her and ask her yourself?" Adam retorted, "This, whatever it is, with you guys not talking has to end. Drew and I are tired of having to go back and forth. Both of you have told us that you were going to try to salvage your friendship with the other but so far neither of you has made an attempt at reconciling."

"Adam and I aren't going to talk to either of you until one of you breaks the ice," Drew mumbled groggily from the couch, "and starts putting our group in one piece again."

"Did you give Clare this ultimatum as well?" Eli asked.

"Yeah, right before we left yesterday," Adam answered.

"What did she say?" Eli asked.

"Can't say," Drew muttered.

"Bullshit," Eli snapped.

"He's lying. Clare didn't say anything. We gave her the ultimatum, she mulled it over in her head for about five minutes before kicking us out of her house mumbling about how we didn't understand," Adam replied.

"Kicked us out without giving us any of the cookies she baked," Drew added.

"She's right. You guys just don't understand," Eli said, leaning back on the couch.

"We understand that both of you are too proud," Adam scoffed, "Shut up and make up already."

"You say that like it's the easiest thing in the world," Eli muttered.

"It should be for two people who have been best friends since they could walk," Drew interrupted.

"We have to go," Adam said standing up, "but we're not kidding about not speaking to either of you."

"Yeah," Drew agreed, "heed our warning."

Eli rolled his eyes and started picking up the bags of chips and empty cans. He could hear the front door being opened, a signal that Adam and Drew were leaving.

"Well, look at who we have here," Drew said in a surprised tone of voice.

Eli walked into the hallway to see Clare standing on the stoop, right hand poised to knock on the door.

"We're gone," Adam said, pulling Drew by the arm.

"No, let's stay and watch. Maybe mom will beat the crap out of dad," Drew joked mockingly.

Clare shut the door behind them and turned to Eli.

"Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Hey," he choked out. "How've you been?"

Clare shrugged, "Can't complain. And you?"

"Same, I guess," Eli replied.

They smiled awkwardly at each other but it was a start.

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><p>Thoughts?<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Hello gorgeous [and patient] readers! Sorry for taking longer than usual to update. I just finished my block of exams and it's time to party [and by party I mean write]! Next update will be sometime next week. I Have Friends in Holy Spaces should be updated sometime before Monday. I'm working on it after I update this. Expect tons more ~drama in the next chapter or so. I love and appreciate all of your reviews and kind words, so thank you. Special thanks to my wonderful new beta Whateverhappened.

[While you're here, check out my Eclare oneshot "_Why Are We Strangers?_"]

I don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry.

Read + Enjoy + Review :)

* * *

><p>"Catch!" Drew yelled and threw the football.<p>

Adam put his arms out to catch it but didn't see the fiery ball of red hair running in his direction. Clare jumped a foot in the air and intercepted it.

"You lose," she said, handing him the football.

"Thanks," Adam replied.

"Clare, nice catch, you should teach Adam how to," Drew snickered. Adam gave him the finger and threw the football back at him.

"What are you doing today?" Adam asked.

"Going to Eli's house," Clare replied, buttoning up her coat, which she had gotten back from Eli.

"Cool," Adam mumbled. "So…," he said slowly, "How're things?"

"Things are fine Adam," Clare said, catching onto the hidden meaning in his question.

"Good," Adam breathed a sigh of relief, "Don't tell Eli I mentioned this to you, but has he said anything important to you?"

"Important how?" Clare asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," Adam assured her, and an angry expression washed over his face.

"Adam, is there something that I should know?" Clare asked, concern lacing her voice.

"No, don't worry about it," Adam sighed, "everything is fine."

"Okay. Whatever, weirdo," Clare smiled, shutting her locker.

xXx

Clare walked towards the front doors of Degrassi, where Eli was waiting for her on the steps.

Eli smiled when he saw Clare walking his way. Clare would be lying if she said that it didn't make her insides flutter still, though it was faint. She was getting over Eli, bit by bit. But sometimes it still hurt when she thought about it.

Eli bit his lip nervously. Julia had been pestering him about meeting Clare. "She's such a big part of your life, I have to meet her!" Julia exclaimed one day when they were in Eli's room. Usually, Eli would silence her by leaning over and capturing her lips with his. But today Julia had been insistent on coming over when Clare was supposed to be there.

It's not that Eli didn't want them to meet, Julia was becoming more and more important to him each day and that meant that he had to bring her more into his life. Drew liked Julia; she was dirty minded like a guy and loved video games, two pluses in Drew's book. Adam was adamant. He accepted Julia and made her feel welcome but made no serious attempts at becoming her friend. Adam only put up with her because of Eli. He had brought Julia home a few weeks ago and Bullfrog and Cece had approved. They liked her well enough.

Clare was a different story though. Eli could feel that Clare still held some unwanted affection towards him and he was scared of how she would take it. He wondered if she would be angry or sad. They had been getting back to normal slowly but Eli was afraid that his relationship with Julia would cause another rift between them.

"Hey, what's got you so down?" Clare said, pulling Eli out of his thoughts.

"Nothing," Eli lied, "let's go."

They walked comfortably, talking animatedly about this and that.

Cece opened the front door for them upon their arrival and pulled Clare into a tight hug.

"Clare, sweet cheeks, I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks," Cece exclaimed.

"Did Eli finally scare you away?" Bullfrog bellowed from the kitchen.

"No," Clare stammered, "I just got very busy with school."

"Oh well. Come visit more often baby girl, I can't be stuck with these two for so long," Cece gestured to her husband and son and laughed.

"I won't," Clare giggled and promised.

"God mom, I know you love Clare more than me but, ouch, this betrayal hurts," Eli feigned sadness.

"Oh stop," Cece said smiling, "we're going to the station. We'll be back around midnight."

Bullfrog walked out of the kitchen holding a sandwich, "Yeah, so don't do anything bad, and if you do, don't get caught. Clarabelle if Eli acts up you have my full permission to smack him around a few times."

"Unloved. I swear when Clare is around I am so unloved," Eli grabbed his heart and shut the door as Cece and Bullfrog left, laughing.

"The truth hurts Eli," Clare said smugly.

"I'll give you truth," Eli sneered playfully before going in to punch Clare softly. But Clare grabbed his fist before it made contact and twisted his arm gently.

"Homework," she said in a fake stern tone and walked up the stairs to Eli's room. He followed right behind her.

Clare opened the door to his room and flung herself on the bed. She pulled out her math textbook, paper and began looking over the problems, furrowing her eyebrows at the foreign material.

Eli closed her book and set it aside. Clare looked up at him with confusion etched on her features.

"Actually, can we talk?" Eli asked.

"Uh...okay," Clare replied, sitting up.

"I know things have been weird between us since…well you know," Eli started.

"I thought they were getting better," Clare whispered, "Is something wrong?"

"No, no! Everything is great, and you're my best friend Clare," Eli said, "I've been keeping something from you for the last few weeks though."

Clare furrowed her eyebrows and felt her heart rate speed up some, "What?"

"After you left, I went to a show with Drew and Adam at Above the Dot and I met this girl there," Eli explained.

"Uh….huh," Clare urged, feeling faint.

"Well, she and I started hanging out a lot and we're uh…," Eli stuttered, "sort of together."

Clare felt a high pitched ringing in her ears as she processed Eli's words. "How can you be sort of together with someone? You either are or you aren't," Clare stammered out.

"Well, we are," Eli said clearly.

"That's….nice," Clare swallowed the bile rising in her throat, "I'm happy for you?" She realized it sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Um…are you okay?" Eli asked tentatively.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Clare bit her inner cheek.

"Okay, great! Her name is Julia and she really wants to meet you. I've told her all about you and you're going to love her," Eli said joyously and Clare wanted desperately to escape.

"Uh...okay," Clare said quietly, when the last thing she wanted to do was meet this…Julia.

"I'm so happy Clare," Eli said, hugging her, "You're both important to me and it would make me happy to see you two become friends."

Clare nodded and tried to smile.

"She'll be here soon," Eli smiled.

Clare wanted to jump out of the window and into the tree and run home. She wanted to call Adam or Alli and cry. She could feel a good cry coming on later tonight. A few minutes passed by when a soft knock came to the front door.

Eli and Clare looked at each other and he jumped up from his seat. Clare followed behind and discreetly grabbed her things, ready to escape after she met….Julia.

Eli opened the front door and in an instant an all black clothed pale figure bounded into his arms. Clare didn't know if she wanted to gag or cry at the sight. The petite female pulled back from Eli and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. All of their little touches were like a stab to Clare's emotional and mental stability.

"Jules, this is Clare," Eli introduced them when they finally pulled apart, "Clare this is Julia."

Clare was prepared to shake her hand but was not prepared to find herself with a whole lot of Julia invading her personal space. This girl enveloped Clare in a hug and she awkwardly patted her back.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you," Julia said, "Eli's told me all about you."

Clare wanted to bite back with not knowing of her existence until half an hour ago but held back, Julia was not the villain. Eli was.

"All good I hope," Clare said, taking a good look at Julia.

She was one of those girls. One of those girls that walked into a room, and was an instant blow the self esteems of the other girls. She was tall, skinny and was really very pretty. Clare could see why Eli liked her. She felt like she'd seen her before, and remembered that this was the girl that Holly J was snapping at in the new student line after Christmas break.

"It was, I promise," Julia said in a slightly off tone, that Clare couldn't place. She also noticed how Julia was looking at her, with a steely, clinical, almost analyzing look. It was covered up with a big smile, her teeth shining like a row of Chiclets.

Clare looked at Eli and noticed the way he looked back and forth between them, nervously.

"Well, I have to go," Clare said suddenly, breaking the awkward silence. "Alli is waiting for me."

"I thought we were doing homework together," Eli said confusedly.

"Oh yeah," Julia smiled, "please stay."

"Can't, sorry," Clare tried to smile, "but uh…have fun. I'll see you tomorrow Eli, and it was nice meeting you too Julia."

"It was great to finally meet you too Clare," Julia said with an almost relieved tone of voice. It made Clare's stomach churn and she wasn't sure why.

She closed the door shut and started walking slowly to Alli's house. By the time she reached the Bhandaris' house, Clare was crying, her nose was a bright hue of red and her eyes were glassy.

Sav opened the door, "Hey Clare."

"Hey Sav," Clare said sniffling, "Is Alli home?"

"Uh…sorry Clare, she went to stay over Fiona's tonight," Sav replied.

"Oh, uh, okay," Clare said.

"I can take you over there if you want," Sav offered, "you don't look like you should be walking anywhere alone in this condition."

"That would be great, thanks," Clare wiped her eyes.

Sav nodded and grabbed his jacket and keys. The drive was mostly silent. Clare kept wiping stray tears from her eyes.

"So who is it?" Sav asked.

"What?" Clare questioned.

"I only see girls cry like that for one of two reasons, family trouble or boy trouble, and I know you Clare, you're family life is pretty good, so who is it?" Sav explained.

Clare didn't really feel like telling more people about her and Eli so she simply shook her head.

"Well whoever he is, he's pretty dumb for letting a girl like you go," Sav said as he pulled up next to the Coynes' condo.

Clare smiled and hopped out of the truck, "Thanks Sav."

"No problem Clare," Sav replied.

Sav drove away and Clare took a moment to collect herself.

xXx

Clare walked up to the door and knocked. She heard screams come from inside and jumped away from the door. It opened slightly, and revealed Declan's blue eyes.

"Alli, Fiona, it's just Clare you morons," Declan yelled and let Clare in.

They walked towards the living room where Fiona and Alli were hiding under a bundle of blankets on the big couch-bed.

Alli threw them all behind her and sighed, "Oh thank God, we're watching horror movies and we thought you were a serial killer."

"Hence the high pitched screaming you heard a moment ago," Declan replied, "they made me come open the door and everything."

Clare let out a small chuckle and Declan observed her carefully, "Well, I'll leave you ladies alone." He retreated back upstairs to his bedroom. Clare collapsed on the gigantic couch in front of Fiona and looked absolutely miserable.

"What's wrong?" Fiona asked, hovering above her.

"Eli has a girlfriend," Clare mumbled.

"What!" Alli squealed.

"She said Eli has a-," Fiona repeated.

"No, I heard, it was a rhetorical 'what'," Alli clarified.

Fiona rolled her eyes, "Is she ugly? Is she nice? Can you take her?"

"She's pretty, and worst of all she was actually pretty nice," Clare complained, "and yes, I could take her, not that I'm going to."

"Are you okay?" Fiona asked, concerned.

Clare shook her head and could feel the tiny droplets of moisture on the brims of her eyelids. She wished she could stop crying about it already.

Alli huffed, "Eli's an idiot."

"No, he's not. He just didn't want me," Clare clarified, "it's okay. He and I are only meant to be friends. Excuse me." Clare stood up abruptly from the couch and walked towards the bathroom.

Inside she briefly admired the retro look of the bathroom; it was an off white with different colors splattered on the walls. The sink, which also double as a large vanity had a huge mirror bordered with giant light bulbs, like the ones you would see at a salon. The mirror on the opposite wall was floor length and Clare couldn't help but find it a little weird the Fiona had so many mirrors in one bathroom.

Clare took a good look at everything in the bigger than average space before looking at herself in the mirror. Her long, curly, reddish brown hair was matted down and tangled. Her cheeks were flushed from crying so much and had pink tear streaks on them, a byproduct of having slightly acidic tears, and her bright blues eyes were red.

She thought the harsh lighting of the huge light bulbs only served to highlight all of her flaws. Clare thought her skin was too pale; almost a sickly color, but she could blame that on the depression. Her hair was long, curly and stringy, the color dulled out. Clare hated her glasses and wanted nothing more than to throw them out. She thought she had chubby baby hands and too full cheeks.

Clare turned to the floor length body mirror and felt nauseous at the sight. She wasn't one of the girl's who thought she was fat, in fact Clare knew she wasn't. She pulled her shirt up and saw the developing curves under a little bit of baby fat. Clare knew that really wasn't a big deal. She was also flat chested and had no shape to her rump.

A soft knock came to the door but Clare didn't answer. The knob turned slowly and Fiona and Alli peeked in. "Are you okay?" Fiona asked softly. Clare felt a fresh batch of tears coming.

"She's so pretty though. Like, she's really, really fucking pretty," Clare whimpered and gestured to herself in the mirror, "she's like a dainty, perfect China doll, and I…I still look like a little girl."

"So are you," Alli commented, "you're pretty too."

Fiona narrowed her eyes, "And you're not allowed to think any differently Clare. Don't put yourself down because she's pretty. You're gorgeous."

Clare shrugged, not feeling like starting an argument that would end up in her confessing the rest of her insecurities. Alli hugged her tightly.

"What's her name?" Alli asked.

"Julia," Clare replied.

"Julia?" Fiona's eyes widened, "Long black hair, super pale, bright red lips and dark brown eyes?"

Clare nodded.

"She's in my economics class," Fiona explained, "she's new, just transferred here from the some tiny town in Wisconsin, in the States. I don't like her."

"Why?" Alli asked.

"I didn't get a good vibe from her, like, I don't know, it probably isn't anything but she just felt a little fake to me," Fiona shrugged, grabbing a bag of twizzlers and tearing into it.

"Clare said she's really nice though," Alli furrowed her eyebrows. Clare nodded in agreement.

"I didn't say she wasn't nice. She just seemed a little condescending," Fiona stated.

"Oh," Clare sat up, and leaned back against the couch. She grabbed one of the blankets and pulled it over herself, whining softly.

"What else happened?" Alli asked, bringing the blanket down to uncover Clare's face.

"They started dating over Christmas break," Clare cried.

Fiona and Alli let out a simultaneous, "What?"

"I was at my grandmother's house, believing like a moron that something could happen between Eli and I and here he was getting a girlfriend," Clare whimpered.

"Oh Clare," Fiona hugged her, and Alli rubbed her shoulder caringly.

"They didn't make it official until a few weeks ago, but he didn't tell me anything," Clare muttered.

"Maybe, he was trying to spare you more pain," Alli defended.

"I would rather him tell me right then and there. Lay it all out so I could get over everything all at once," Clare snapped.

Alli bit her lip and patted Clare's knee.

Fiona wiped the tears from Clare's eyes, "Let these be the last tears you cry for him, okay?"

Clare nodded. Fiona and Alli made it their mission to make Clare forget everything the rest of the night.

xXx

It was half past eleven, when Clare woke up, startled. A huge crash had come from the Fiona and Declan's second floor. They had fallen asleep on the couch bed in a tangle of limbs after their movie marathon. She carefully peeled the thick blankets off of her and climbed over Alli and Fiona to jump off the couch.

Clare swallowed slowly. This was like the beginning of every horror movie; one stupid person always has to go investigate the noise and winds up dead. She said a small prayer and walked to the kitchen to turn on the lights so she could see. As she turned on the light a figure walked across the center island.

Clare let out a small shriek and jumped back, slapping the lights on.

"Clare, it's just me," Declan recoiled from the bright lights.

"Oh sorry, I heard a crash and it woke me up," Clare said, squinting at the light as well.

Declan laughed, "And you got up to find the source of the noise? That's exactly how every horror movie starts. And that noise was me, I was playing video games upstairs and I keep losing on this one level. Guess I got a little angry and carried away."

"Did you break a lamp or something? It was loud, I'm surprised I'm the only one that woke up," Clare replied.

"Fiona sleeps like a log," Declan explained, "and apparently Alli can too. I threw my math book at the wall."

Declan and Clare poked their heads out of the kitchen to see the two girls sleeping on the couch, seemingly unaware of anything.

He opened the ceramic jar of cookies and two out, handing one to Clare. "Come upstairs, I could use the company after listening to you three giggle and gossip all night. And maybe if you're there, it'll keep me from hurling things at the wall."

Clare followed Declan up the stairs into his room. They sat on the bed and Declan picked up his controller, pressing play and proceeding to lose at the same level three or four more tries.

He finally gave up and handed the controller to Clare, "Want to give it a try, there's no way you could be worse than me."

Clare shrugged and took the remote, pressed play and started pushing the buttons quickly, not sure of what she was doing. After a few minutes of this, the screen went bright and a message saying the level was completed showed up.

Declan looked at Clare with wide eyes, "What did you do?"

"I don't know," Clare said honestly, "I just pushed all the buttons quickly."

Declan laughed, "So you passed, and you have no idea how."

"Nope," Clare said, smirking smugly.

"Thanks," Declan said, taking the remote back and smiling at her. Clare turned away shyly and caught her reflection in the mirror.

"Ugh," Clare said, jumping up, "I don't know how your sister talked me into letting her and Alli give me a makeover! I barely look like myself with all of this caked on."

Clare's eyes were lined thickly with black eyeliner, and frosted with white shadow. Her cheeks had a tint of pink and her lips' redness was fading slightly. Clare thought she kind of looked like a cheap hooker, but kept her mouth shut.

"You look better without all of that," Declan whispered, Clare didn't notice him moving to stand behind her.

"Uh…thanks," Clare's cheeks reddened, but not because of the cheek tint.

"And I agree with Fiona and Alli," Declan said.

"Agree with what?" asked Clare.

"That Eli doesn't deserve you, and that he's an idiot," he clarified, "I overheard you three when you got here."

"Oh, it's okay. Why do you say that?"

"Because, I would never say no to a girl like you," Declan smiled and Clare felt her cheeks flare up. Declan walked slowly towards her and Clare stepped back until she hit the dresser. Declan leaned in slowly and she could feel his little puffs of breath on her upper lip. He slowly removed a long piece of red hair from her face, hooking it behind her ear. His fingers caressed her cheek, slowly tilting her chin and, not to mention, her lips, toward his.

"What's going on here?" Fiona questioned, yawning sleepily. She was leaning against the doorframe, her hair a complete mess.

Declan stepped away from Clare, smiling.

"Are we interrupting something?" Alli asked teasingly. She was behind Fiona, her hair was in a high ponytail, but it was sticking out everywhere.

"No, nothing. Right Clare?" Declan said sheepishly.

Clare shook her head, "Yeah, nothing."

"Sure didn't look like nothing," Fiona mumbled.

"Why are you guys even awake?" Declan changed the subject.

Fiona shrugged, "I woke up and I couldn't find Clare. I woke up Alli to help me look for her."

"We didn't know you two were up here getting to know each other," Alli giggled.

Declan looked at the ground with a smile on his face, and Clare didn't think she could get any more red than she probably was at that moment. Alli and Fiona sported evil grins on their faces.

"I…uh…think I should go to sleep," Clare mumbled and walked towards Alli and Fiona, "Goodnight Declan."

"Goodnight Clare," he mumbled.

"Yeah, goodnight Declan," Alli mocked in a dreamy voice and followed Clare, laughing.

Fiona lagged behind, she stared down her brother and lifted her index and middle fingers to her eyes and then pointed them at Declan, indicating that she was watching him. She turned and walked downstairs, leaving Declan in his room.

xXx

The next morning Clare walked into school, arm in arm with Alli and Fiona. They turned the corner towards Clare's locker and she felt her heart stop. Eli and Julia were leaning against his locker, making out.

"Yeah, I need to go," Clare said untangling her arms from the girls' and turning to walk away. She couldn't stay and look at that, it hurt too much still.

"No! Clare," Alli grabbed her jacket and pulled her back, "you need to get over him. You will get over him but you need to face him first if you want him in your life at all."

"If you start ignoring him now, you will lose him forever Clare," Fiona reminded her, "and that would hurt you ten times worse than just seeing him with another girl."

Clare surrendered, "You're right. It just hurts, still."

"I know," Fiona replied, "but it will get easier. Now let's go, you have to get your books for first period."

They walked slowly and Clare opened her locker without acknowledging the two hormonal teenagers. Alli noticed the sad look on her face and put her hand lovingly on her shoulder and squeezed. Clare looked at her and gave her a small, sad smile.

Fiona knocked the book Alli was carrying out of her hand, and it landed on the linoleum floor with a hard thud. The noise must have startled Eli and Julia because they pulled apart quickly.

"Oops," Fiona deadpanned and glared at Eli.

Alli snickered under her breath and gave Clare a reassuring smile.

"Hi Eli, hi Julia," Clare said, suddenly sounding confident.

"Hey Clare," Eli said, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.

"Hi Clare," Julia said sweetly.

Fiona made a barely audible gagging noise and Clare bit her lip in order to not laugh. Drew and Adam showed up at that exact moment, talking about food or something, Clare couldn't decipher. When the two boys caught up they shrunk back at the obvious tense and awkward environment.

Drew stood off to the side but in the middle, subtly indicating that he was neutral with everyone. Adam on the other hand, made a big show of stepping on Clare's side and wrapping an arm around her. Clare was both flattered and worried by his loyalty, she loved that he was going to stick by her no matter what, but she also didn't want to be the reason a strain was put on Eli and his friendship.

"Hello Julia, hello Eli," Adam greeted smoothly, but with a slightly cold tone.

"Hi Adam," Eli replied, raising an eyebrow at his friend's stance. Adam shrugged in response. He and Fiona exchanged a small smile, and Clare briefly wondered what was behind it. The few seconds they stood together were awkward, to say the least. Adam and Fiona glared at Eli, Alli picked at her nails, Drew looked ready to intervene, Julia shifted feet frequently, and Clare wanted nothing more than to make a hasty escape.

"¿Vamos a clase?" Adam asked Alli and Clare in his broken Spanish.

Clare nodded and the girls looped their arms through Adam's. "See you guys at lunch," Adam threw over his shoulder.

Fiona stood her ground, staring down Eli. He briefly wondered why it seemed like she hated him so much.

"Walk me to class Drew?" Fiona asked, not breaking eye contact with Eli.

"I…uh…sure," Drew stuttered, Fiona had never spoken to him directly until then.

Fiona walked away with Drew, leaving a confused Eli and a nervous Julia behind.

"I don't think your friends like me much," she whispered.

Eli looked down at his girlfriend and enveloped her in a hug, "Just give them time."

xXx

Lunch was less awkward, they all sat together and Adam was decisively less hostile towards Eli and Julia. Fiona didn't give them the look of death, but she didn't spare a glance in their direction either. Alli didn't interfere much, and Eli decided he liked her best, even if she didn't necessarily like him. Drew, again, sat in the middle, ready to be a mediator if the need should arise.

The girls were talking as they sat down, talking about something that had happened the night before.

"Speaking of compromising, Clare," Fiona said mischievously, "what was happening yesterday between you and Declan?"

Eli turned his head slightly, dying to know what Fiona was talking about, but by the red color that decorated Clare's cheeks, he knew it must have been bad. He couldn't ask what they were talking about though; Fiona would probably scoff at him.

"What are you talking about?" Adam asked, taking a bite of his hamburger. Eli felt grateful that his friend was asking the question he couldn't.

"Yesterday Clare and I stayed over Fiona's condo," Alli explained, "we found her and Declan getting to know each other upstairs all alone." She said a sing-song voice.

"Nothing happened," Clare defended, looking away.

"Because we showed up," Fiona laughed, "who knows what would have happened if we hadn't." Her eyebrows wiggled suggestively and Clare smacked her lightly.

Eli gripped the table with a tight hand.

"Are you okay?" Drew asked, noticing his friend's composure.

The whole table turned to look at him with different expressions. Adam with indifference, Clare with embarrassment, Fiona with an amused smirk, and Alli with a knowing look, Julia looked at him questioningly.

"Just fine," Eli replied through his teeth.

Clare wondered why Eli seemed so angry when Fiona mentioned she and Declan's close encounter. He seemed put off, and a little bit offended. She felt like explaining to him what actually happened, but didn't know why she should have to.

She hooked a piece of her long, red hair over her ear and shifted uncomfortably. Adam gave her a weak smile. Julia turned to look at her and something angry flashed quickly through her expression. It had seemed almost angry, but was quickly replaced with a big smile.

Clare shook her head and wondered if she had seen correctly. She noticed that Fiona was looking at Julia with an angry expression, and noted that she must have noticed the angry look as well. Eli got up to throw out his food and exited the lunchroom quickly, Julia followed behind him.

The tension was instantly lifted from the table and Clare, although she felt guilty, could breathe slightly easier.

"I see what you mean," Alli thought out loud, "she seems sweet, and is very pretty, but there is something off about her."

"Right?" Fiona smiled, happy that someone agreed with her.

"You guys are so quick to judge," Drew said seriously, "I've hung out with her and Eli and she's really cool."

"You just like her because she always buys food when you all hang out, and because she has a foul mouth," Adam retorted.

Drew rolled his eyes but didn't deny the fact, "She's making Eli happy, I don't see why you all have to hate her for that."

"I don't hate her; I've never said anything bad about her. I don't even know her," Clare snapped defensively.

Drew looked away, forgetting that this was a sensitive subject for her.

"I'm going to go to the library," Clare stood up and threw out her half eaten food.

"Am I still walking you home today?" Adam asked and Clare nodded.

Fiona and Alli waved goodbye as Clare walked out. She needed to be alone, preferably consumed in a book.

xXx

The library was relatively empty, only a few students were huddled in the chairs or on the floor, reading a book or doing homework. Clare browsed through the shelves, picking out different books and looking at their cover before putting them back. A bright purple book caught her eye and she went to reach for it but when she pulled her hand back the book would not budge.

"What the-," Clare started and pulled the book back forcefully.

A small gasp came from the other side and Clare looked through the small opening the book had created and saw Julia brown eyes looking back at her.

"Sorry," Clare squeaked.

Julia walked around the shelf to her side, "It's okay."

"So…uh…where's Eli?" Clare asked, feeling a tad awkward around the older girl.

"I don't know," Julia replied, "he mumbled something about going to the auto shop room and stalked off angrily after lunch."

"Oh," Clare said, "Is he okay?"

"He's a little peeved about the awkward lunch but I told him not to be angry," Julia explained.

"Wait, why is he mad?" Clare asked.

"He doesn't like that Adam isn't very nice to me," she said slowly, "I told him not to worry about it, I don't want to be the reason he and Eli fight. Adam will just have to get used to me being around, because we don't plan on being apart any time soon."

Clare swallowed and nodded, she could feel Julia scrutinizing her.

"But anyway," Julia wrinkled her nose and smiled, "do you want to hang out today or something? Eli's going to get his driver's license."

"Uh…why?" Clare blurted out.

"Well, you are Eli's best friend, I think it'd be good for him if at least you liked me," Julia giggled.

"Oh, right…sure," Clare replied.

"Cool," Julia said in a girly voice that didn't mesh well with her darker appearance, "I'll find you after school."

xXx

"You're going to what?" Adam yelled, and the people in the hallway turned to look at them.

"She asked me to hang out with her Adam," Clare replied in a tired voice, "she hasn't committed a crime by dating Eli. He's my best friend; the least I can do is be nice to his girlfriend. You should come too."

"No, you couldn't pay me to hang out with her," Adam crossed his arms over his chest.

"Eli's you're friend too, she said, not wanting to be the reason for a fight between the two of them . The least you can be is civil to her if you don't want to be nice to her," Clare sighed.

"I am civil to her," Adam defended.

"Dagger glares and cold shoulders aren't civil Adam," Clare countered, "I appreciate your loyalty, and I love you more for it, but you can't always pick my side. Eli's your friend too. You don't have to come out with us tonight but promise me you'll stop being hostile towards them. It's really hurting him that you don't like her."

"Ugh, fine," Adam surrendered, "I'll be nice to her, but only because you asked me because for all I care she can suck my non-existent-."

"Adam!" Clare warned.

"Just saying," Adam shrugged.

"Be nice," Clare instructed.

"Okay mommy," Adam scoffed.

"Hang out at your house today?" Fiona asked, leaning against the locker next to Clare's.

"She's hanging with the enemy," Adam blurted.

"What?" Fiona asked, wide-eyed.

"I'm going to The Dot with Julia," Clare explained exasperatedly, "no big deal."

"Clare-," Fiona started.

"No guys, she is my best friend's girlfriend, and although it might hurt right now to have to see them together, I know she's going to be around for a while so I have to learn to like her," Clare reiterated for what she felt was the millionth time.

"You don't have to do anything," Fiona scolded.

"Hi guys," Julia said, showing up out of nowhere, "ready Clare?"

"Yeah," Clare nodded, "bye Adam, bye Fi."

Fiona waved her away and Adam gave her a small grin. They watched their friend walk away with half of the object causing her pain.

xXx

Julia downed her third double chocolate milkshake while Clare was halfway through her first. She briefly wondered where the older girl put it all. They had been talking quietly for the last half an hour; Julia liked to ask a lot of questions about Eli as they grew up. Clare tried to answer as much as she could without revealing too much.

"How long have you and Eli been friends?" Julia asked wearily.

"Since we were toddlers," Clare replied, "some of our first memories are with each other."

"That's nice," Julia smiled tensely.

"Well, I…uh…have to go," Clare said, picking up her book bag.

"Okay, see you tomorrow Clare," Julia said sweetly, "thanks for hanging out with me."

"No problem," Clare said and walked out of The Dot.

She breathed a sigh of relief once she was outside and walked home.

xXx

Clare was doing homework on her bedroom floor, in total silence. Her dad had come home tired from work, and had gone to bed right after dinner. She was working on some mol conversions for chemistry when a sharp, quick knock came to her window. Clare looked over her bed to see Eli tapping on her window.

She stood up and went to open the window. He climbed in slowly.

"My dad's asleep," she whispered.

"Thanks," Eli mumbled, smiling down at her.

"For what?" Clare furrowed her eyebrows.

"For being so nice to Julia," Eli took her hands in his, "It means a lot that you're trying to get to know her."

"Well," Clare pulled her hands back, "it's nothing. She's really sweet."

"I know," Eli gushed, "God Clare, she's so amazing. Sometimes I wonder why she's even with me."

He rattled off some of his favorite qualities about Julia and Clare gritted her teeth to smile.

"So what's happening between you and Declan?" Eli asked.

"Oh my god, nothing. Don't listen to Fiona," Clare said.

"Well, maybe something should. He seems like a cool guy," Eli shrugged.

Clare raised her eyebrows, "I guess, I don't know. I'll see how it goes."

"Well, anyway, I just wanted to come thank you for being so sweet to my girl," Eli repeated.

"Yeah, no problem," Clare smiled.

Eli leaned forward and kissed her cheek before hugging her tightly. Clare wanted to both push him away and hold him tighter.

Eli climbed out of the window and down her side panel. She watched him until he turned the corner out of her sight.

A shrill ring came from behind and Clare hurried to answer her phone before it woke up her dad.

"Hello," Clare said.

"Hey, Clare," a deep male voice spoke

"Declan?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"What's up?" Clare paced around her room, twirling a strand of hair around her index finger.

"I wanted to ask if you wanted to do something Friday night," he said tentatively.

Clare thought about Eli briefly and shook her head, trying to erase him from her thoughts.

"What did you have in mind?"

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Review, Review, Review! :)<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! I didn't take forever to update, clap for me? This is probably the longest chapter yet, but the next one will probably be the longest [so far] as well as the last of Clare's freshman and Eli's sophomore year. Oh god, the promo, I was dying. Can it please be next month already? As always thank you for all of your kind reviews, they make me so happy. Ugh, I am so ready to give you all of the drama that is to come within the next chapter but I have to write it first!

Beta: WhatEverHappened

Don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry

Review, Review, Review!

* * *

><p>"You," Fiona said sternly, walking into Declan's room. Adam trailed behind her, trying to look equally as tough.<p>

Declan put his hands up in surrender as Fiona walked towards him. He backed away from them until he hit the wall and could no longer move.

"What?" Declan asked nervously, he would be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit scared.

"Did you ask Clare out on a date?" Fiona asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Yes, mother. What's it to you?" He said.

"You better not play her like one of your New York trollops. Clare is different, and she's still hurting from Eli's rejection," Fiona stated.

"Trollops? Are we in the eighteen hundreds?" Declan laughed.

"Seriously Declan," Adam looked uncomfortable.

"Are you two like her protectors or something?" Declan asked, moving away from their trap.

"Yes," Fiona said smugly. "Self assigned roles."

Declan raised an eyebrow and sighed, "I'm not going to hurt Clare, okay? I actually like her. She's…different…in a good way of course."

"Clare's vulnerable okay? And she's my best friend. I won't hesitate to kick your ass if she asks me to," Adam warned.

"You have nothing to worry about," Declan clapped him once on the back.

Adam nodded, studying Declan once more.

"Just warning you," Fiona smiled before exiting his room, pulling Adam with her.

xXx

"Where's Clare?" Eli asked. "I told her we'd all be here tonight."

Adam, Drew, Julia and Eli were sitting around his living room, watching movies and doing a whole lot of nothing.

"Shopping with Alli and Fiona for her date with Declan tomorrow night," Drew mumbled through a mouth full of popcorn.

"Gross," Julia laughed at Drew's manners, or lack thereof.

"What?" Eli shrieked, cutting Julia's laughter short.

"Declan asked her out on a date a few days ago," Adam explained, eating slowly. He took note of Eli's affronted stance. "And she said you told her to 'go for it'."

"She can't go out with him," Eli huffed. Sure he'd told her to 'go for it' because he thought that Clare would be too shy to.

"Clare can go out with whomever she wants," Julia interjected, looking displeased and a little bit irritated.

"No, she can't," Eli snapped, "I thought he was a cool guy but have you heard that Prince Charming talk? All he brags about his is conquests in New York, all the girls he's fucked and left. Clare's is not going to be another notch on his bedpost."

"Dude, chill," Drew raised an eyebrow, "Clare can take perfectly good care of herself. She isn't like that. If he tried anything on her, she'd probably make him land in the hospital."

"Seriously Eli," Julia's voice broke. Tears started to slip from her eyes and she quickly grabbed her bag, running upstairs to lock herself in his bathroom.

The three boys looked on in amazement.

"Nice going dumbass," Drew mocked, "you pissed off your girlfriend because all you do is worry about Clare. If it's any consolation Adam and Fiona have already gone to threaten Declan."

"What?" Eli said surprised, "You went to talk to him without me. Why? I'm Clare's best friend."

"We're her best friends too," Adam defended, trying to hide the hurt in his voice at Eli's words. "Declan's a good guy. He really likes Clare; he's changing his ways to be with her. Even Fiona called him out on his player ways. I told him I'd hurt him if he did anything to her. Besides, you have a girlfriend that you spend all your time with. Can't rip you away from her now can we?"

"Don't put this on Julia. She's amazing, understanding, and perfect," Eli snapped.

"If she's so wonderfully perfect, why are you down here, still worrying about Clare, who has Alli, Fiona, Drew and I looking after her," Adam stood up angrily, "you should be up there consoling Julia."

Eli stood up as well, "I can do both."

"No, no Eli," Adam laughed bitterly, "you really can't. You can't be Clare's protector and Julia's boyfriend. It doesn't work well for either girl."

"Well, you're definitely not taking my place," Eli said defiantly.

Adam and Eli were a few more angry words away from full on punching each other's lights out.

"Guys, cut it out," Drew separated them at arm's length, "Eli, no one is trying to take your place in Clare."

"Good, because no one can. Clare is mine," Eli sneered.

Adam and Drew froze at Eli's choice of words.

"You have no idea what you want," Adam said calmly, condescendingly. He picked up his sweatshirt and put it on. "Don't talk to me until you're done being a prick."

He walked out the front door without a word.

Drew patted Eli once on the shoulder, "Dude, you have some serious issues to work out. See you at later." He left the same way Adam did.

Eli sighed and slammed the front door, before going upstairs and knocking on the bathroom door.

"Jules?" Eli asked softly.

"Go away," Julia whimpered in response.

"I can't. You're kind of in my house," Eli laughed once.

Julia opened the door slowly, and wiped her eyes one more time. They were red from crying and her flawless skin was splotchy from tears. She took one look at Eli and walked around him, starting down the stairs.

Eli grabbed her arm, pulling her back gently.

"Let me go," she snarled.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked, genuinely confused.

"You can't be serious," Julia looked at him angrily.

Eli looked completely clueless.

"You know what sucks Eli?" Julia asked and continued without waiting for a response, "Always coming second to Clare. I'm your girlfriend for crying out loud, but every time Clare breathes, you're at her side, making sure nothing happens to her. I'm tired of it."

"Julia, I'm…sorry," Eli breathed.

"I get it. I understand that she is your best friend, and I don't want to come between that. But you treat her not like your best friend, you treat her like she's me, like a girlfriend or maybe something more. It hurts," Julia whimpered.

"But Julia you're my girlfriend, not Clare," Eli took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. "I love you," he murmured against her lips.

Julia pulled back, "You love me?"

Eli swallowed nervously, "Is it…is it too soon?"

"No, silly," Julia threw her arms around Eli, "I love you too."

Julia hooked her chin over his shoulder and grinned smugly. She pulled away and they made out in the middle of the hallway for awhile. After a while, their wandering hands lead them to Eli's room.

xXx

"Clare, put this on," Alli sighed, holding out her arm.

"No Alli-," Clare giggled as she tried to shut the bathroom door, locking Alli out. Alli had her foot between the door, and was pushing it open.

"You promised me I could help you pick out clothes," Alli whined.

"I said I'd ask for your opinion. I didn't say I wanted to be your life size Barbie," Clare said defiantly.

Fiona laughed from where she was lying on Clare's bed with Adam.

"You could come help me you know," Alli huffed at Fiona.

"I'm pretty sure Clare can pick out her own clothes," Fiona replied, making kissy faces at Adam, who blushed fiercely.

Alli stood in front of Clare, predatorily. "Clare Edwards you are going to put on this skirt if it's the last thing I ever do."

Alli's seriously stern, and determined voice, only served to make the other three laugh.

"Nope," Clare replied simply, and tried closing the door again; she was quite surprised at the strength that Alli possessed.

"Clare, please," Alli tried a different route. "I am going to get my way, you already know this. If I have to whine and plead all day until he gets here, if I have to dress you myself, this is what you're going to wear. We can do this the hard way or the easy way Edwards. You take your pick, but we're doing this my way."

Fiona and Adam laughed from the bed, "Clare, I think you should listen to her. For such a small person, she looks like she can seriously kick some ass."

Alli smiled triumphantly at Adam and stood her ground, grasping the clothes she had for Clare in her hand.

"Ugh, fine," Clare opened the door, and Alli threw the clothes at her head.

"Told you we'd do it my way," Alli smiled smugly.

Clare stuck out her tongue, and threw her dirty sneakers at her, which Alli dodged. She closed the door and Alli went to jump on Clare's tiny bed between Adam and Fiona.

"We were talking," Fiona mumbled with fake irritation.

"Oh please, you two can continue making goo-goo eyes at each other later," Alli replied indifferently.

Fiona and Adam blushed on either side of her.

The bathroom door lock clicked and Clare opened the door, stepping out slowly. She was wearing the black skirt Alli had brought over that ended just above her knees. She had on a violet shirt that fit a little bit snugly, but not uncomfortably so. She was still barefoot, and stood uncomfortably in front of her friends.

"You look great," Alli squealed, rolling over Adam to get off the bed.

"I think you just killed me," Adam whined.

"I can make it better," Fiona said suggestively.

"No getting it on in my bed," Clare threw her pillow at them.

"Sit Clare, I have to do your hair," Alli commanded, pulling Clare's computer chair to her vanity.

"I thought I was doing her hair and make-up," Fiona reminded her.

"Well, you're so busy with Casanova over there," Alli mocked.

Fiona sighed dramatically, and got up from the bed, "Get away from her hair, you've tortured her enough with your clothes."

Alli flipped her off and went to sit next to Adam, who was fawning over Fiona.

Fiona brushed the curls out of Clare's hair, then used a paddle brush and blow dryer to straighten it. Clare sat impatiently is the chair, not accustomed to having her hair pulled every ten seconds.

"Beauty is pain," Fiona quoted when she felt Clare flinch for the umpteenth time.

Alli and Adam were bickering in her closet over what shoes she should wear.

"Heels? Alli you are crazy? Clare would bust her face before she set foot outside of her house," Adam laughed.

"Thanks Adam," Clare shouted.

"Stay still," Fiona said, setting her back in position.

"Well, she's not going to wear cleats or something like that," Alli crossed her arms.

"You can't wear cleats off a field," Adam mocked.

Fiona giggled.

"You're supposed to be on my side," Alli groaned. "Some friend you are."

"Ouch," Adam yelped, "why did you hit me?"

"Because I felt like it," Alli laughed.

"How about we let Clare pick out her own footwear," Clare suggested.

Adam and Alli looked at each other and laughed.

"Compromise," Adam said. He picked up a pair of new purple Converse that were perfectly clean and held them out to Alli for inspection.

"They match your shirt!" Alli squealed.

"And she'll be able to walk," Adam added, "well, walk by Clare's definition anyway, she'll still stumble a few times."

Clare stuck out her tongue.

"Done," Fiona unplugged all of her things. She shook a can of hairspray and held her breath before spraying it all over Clare's head. Clare coughed like crazy and waved the fumes away.

"I think you just made a gaping hole in the ozone layer," Adam coughed.

"Oh well, sorry atmosphere," Fiona said uncaringly. She turned Clare around in her chair so she could see herself in the mirror.

Her long hair had been curled into perfect corkscrews and pinned back away from her face with a few clips. Everytime she moved her head, the curls would bounce wildly, before going back to their place.

Clare smiled at herself in the mirror.

"Stop checking yourself out," Alli commented, "your make-up still has to get done."

Both Clare and Adam groaned.

"No make-up," Clare pushed Fiona's make-up case away.

"But Clare," Alli stomped her foot.

"Just mascara?" Fiona asked. "Please?"

"Okay," Clare said, surrendering.

When they were finally done, Clare slipped on her shoes and stood up straight.

"You look hot," Alli clapped excitedly.

Adam noticed Clare's doubtful eyes, "You look great."

"Thanks," Clare breathed, feeling better, "I still think this skirt is too short."

"Whatever Clare, it looks fantastic and you are wearing it," Alli pressed.

"You scare me," Clare looked at her seriously and Alli giggled maniacally.

Fiona tossed Clare a warm, but cute leather jacket.

"Where's he taking you?" Adam asked.

"I don't know," Clare shrugged.

Fiona smiled, "I know."

Alli, Adam, and Clare looked at her questioningly.

"I'm not going to say, but it's nothing big, so no need to get all nervous and worked up," Fiona said reassuringly.

"Well, we should go," Alli said. She hugged Clare and then waved a finger threateningly in her face, "And I swear to God Clare, if you change the second I leave, I will know and I will come back and burn all of your jeans."

Clare rolled her eyes, "I promise."

"Good, have fun," Alli said.

Fiona hugged her, "He won't be able to keep his hands off you."

Clare and Adam's eyes widened. Fiona bit her lip at her faux pas, "I meant figuratively, of course. Declan wouldn't try anything."

"I know," Clare smiled understandingly.

Fiona and Alli went to wait outside for Drew to pick them all up. Adam lagged behind, unsure of what to say.

"Oh god Adam, I will be fine," Clare sighed. "Fiona was just speaking before thinking."

"I know," Adam scratched his head uncomfortably, "just have fun. Forget about that other douche bag."

Clare sighed and hugged Adam. He wrapped his arms around her as well. "You know you are going to tell me what happened between you two. All of this hostility towards him and Julia came back like a bulldozer and I don't like it," she mumbled into his chest.

"I know," Adam placed his head on top of hers, "just guy stuff."

"And since when am I not included in your 'guy stuff'," she deadpanned playfully, glaring at him.

"I'll tell you later," Adam promised. A loud, obnoxious car horn went off, signaling Drew's arrival. "See you after your date."

"Thanks for covering for me," Clare smiled.

"Damn, what's cookin' good lookin'?" Drew yelled from the car when he saw Clare. He honked his horn at her and wolf whistled.

Clare blushed many different shades of red, she waved at him awkwardly.

"Girl-dude, you look hot," he yelled.

Fiona smacked the back of Drew's head from the back seat. Adam rolled his eyes, "Ignore him, see you later Clare."

Drew honked one more time before pulling away.

Clare shut the door and leaned back against it. She looked at herself in the hallway mirror one last time before Declan came to pick her up.

xXx

Julia was fast asleep on his bed; she'd stayed over the night before. Bullfrog and Cece were gone until Sunday night at a festival his radio station was covering. Eli traced lines down the side of her body with a finger as he thought about what Adam had said before storming off yesterday.

He definitely, definitely, didn't harbor any of _those _types of feelings for Clare. But she was his best friend and he was only looking out for her. They had promised each other that after all.

_ Clare sat in her fourth grade class uncomfortably, staring out the window at the ominous grey sky. It was "What Does Mom Do?" Day at school. No, they couldn't make it just "Career Day" or "Parents Day," the school separated it by parent. One day for mom and one day for dad. Clare was surrounded by her classmates and their prim and properly dressed mothers, with hair curled and make-up executed flawlessly. _

_She shifted in her desk for the millionth time. Clare hated this day as much as a nine year old could hate anything. Mothers went up to describe their jobs, what they did. Clare saw the number of mothers left to speak decreasing. Alli's mom had just gone up, she was an accountant. That new kid Adam's mom was a lawyer and on the school board. Clare knew she should've feigned sickness and begged to stay home._

_The loud school bell rung, signaling recess and Clare shot up and out of her seat at lightning speed. The mother's stayed behind to drink coffee with the teacher. Once outside Clare sat down on one of the swings, moving forward and backward slowly, letting her foot graze the sunken in dirt and stick mixture below. The gentle breeze sent her short, wavy hair behind her._

_"Hey Clare," said a mocking voice. It was Fitz, one of her tormentors. He was supposed to be in fifth grade with Eli, but he failed last year. "Where's your mom? Hate you so much she didn't want to come and let everyone see she's your mom?"_

_"She's so weird," said Bianca, "who would want to be your mom?"_

_Clare stayed silent, feeling the tears in the backs of her eyes._

_"Freak," yelled Marisol, frustrated that Clare wasn't responding to their insults. She got so angry that she got behind Clare and pulled her hair, trying to get a reaction._

_They didn't get one. Clare just stared at the ground biting her lip._

_"Don't you ever talk?" Bianca screamed._

_Clare felt her face getting red with anger, she was just about to jump out of her swing and scream at them that her mother was dead when someone interrupted her._

_"Hey, leave her alone!" yelled an incoming person. _

_Eli ran out of his classroom across the courtyard until he reached them. He stood in front of Clare, defending her. "Go away you buffoons," he said to them, out of breath._

_Bianca, Fitz, and Marisol laughed loudly. Bianca picked up a handful of sticks and threw them at Clare._

_"Teach your weirdo girlfriend how to talk and defend herself," Fitz laughed._

_"She's so stupid," Marisol stood by Fitz, who was standing his ground, still wanting to get a rise out of Clare. _

_"Maybe that why her mom's not here like ours'. She's ashamed of being her mom," Bianca stood by her friends, with an evil smile on her face. _

_Eli looked ready to pummel the three of them into the ground. Clare's heart broke at Bianca's words and she jumped from the swings and ran away from them and towards the small gathering of trees and bushes. The three aggressors laughed._

_"You three are idiots, and have fun in fourth grade again Fitz," Eli spit, causing Fitz to stop laughing and bite his lip._

_He walked away from them and towards the trees, looking for Clare, but she was nowhere to be seen._

_"Clare," Eli called out softly. He walked through the trees listening for her. The area wasn't very big, so she had to be there, somewhere. But Clare was always small and could hide herself easily._

_Eli called out her name again, with no response. He was going to turn back and go get a teacher when he heard a twig snap. Eli turned and walked towards the noise, about twenty feet away from him. He pushed the tree branches and stomped through the bushes until he found Clare. She was sitting with her small arms wrapped around her knees, crying. Eli dropped to his knees next to her._

_Clare looked at him, and tried to wipe her eyes quickly. She hated crying in front of people. Eli knew this and pulled her into a hug._

_"Don't let those morons make you cry," Eli whispered._

_"Eli, it's not nice to call people names…and I'm not crying," Clare reprimanded._

_"They call us names all the time," Eli defended, "they made you cry."_

_Clare shrugged, "I don't want to be like them though...and I'm not crying."_

_Eli sighed, "I don't care. I'm always going to take care of you and defend you. You don't have to call them names; I'll do it for you."_

_Clare gave him a small smile. "I should've stayed home today," she put her head on Eli's shoulder._

_"No, because I have a surprise for you," Eli said, "it's inside, you'll see when recess is over."_

_"I don't like surprises," Clare frowned._

_"It's a good one, I promise," Eli told her._

_"Tell me? Please?" Clare pouted._

_"Okay, so I know that today is that stupid bring your mom to school day for your class. So I asked Cece to come in for you today, she must be late though," Eli confessed._

_Clare stayed silent, biting her lip._

_Eli got nervous when he noticed her indifferent expression. He was about to ask her what was wrong when Clare sprang at him, knocking him down. She hugged him tightly, a big smile spread across her face._

_"Thank you Eli," Clare squealed._

_"You're welcome, you know Cece loves you," Eli reminded her._

_Clare nodded, smiling._

_"Feeling better?" Eli asked._

_"Much," Clare stood up and extended her hand for Eli to take._

_They walked back to the open area but before they were spotted by everyone else, Clare quickly got on her tip toes and gave Eli a kiss on the cheek._

_"Thank you," she said shyly._

_Eli shook his head, letting his long shaggy black hair cover his blushing cheeks. But his smile was still viewable._

Julia stirred, bringing Eli back from memory lane. She turned to him slowly, and opened her eyes, revealing the dark brown irises he claimed to love. She had his black sheets wrapped tightly around herself. Her skin was still slightly sticky with sweat.

Eli couldn't believe that they'd had sex yesterday night after his fight with Adam. They'd exchanged "I Love Yous" and wandered into his room after making out in the hallway. Eli was still feeling pretty bad about his fight with Adam and Julia promised she'd make him forget all of his issues with his friends. She'd slowly raised her shirt above her head, revealing a torso of soft pale skin, straight and angular, not curvy, because she was so skinny. The rest of their clothes came off after that, and they lost their virginities to each other by the end of the night.

The next day was spent lying in Eli's bed, repeating their actions from the night before two more times. Eli was grateful for the four day weekend, sans parents and school. He and Julia had spent most of Friday afternoon sleeping.

"Hey," she whispered, interrupting his thoughts.

Eli turned to look at her, "Hello."

Julia smiled, radiating happiness.

"How do you feel?" she asked tentatively, biting her lip nervously.

"I feel amazing," Eli assured her, kissing the corner of her mouth.

"Me too. So, what are we doing for the rest of the day?" Julia asked. "Are we staying in?" Her hand traveled slowly, teasingly, down his abdomen. "Or are we going out?"

Eli stopped her tempting hand from going any farther, "We have those The Audition tickets for tonight, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Julia said excitedly. "We," she said mischievously, "can continue this after."

xXx

Clare sat in Declan's car nervously. He'd shown up at her house not five minutes after Alli, Fiona and Adam had left. They were making small talk when Clare remembered that she still didn't even know where he was taking her.

"Where are we going?" Clare asked, noticing that they were driving through the downtown area of the city.

"Oh, I got tickets to see this band called The Audition. I thought we could go see them, but if you don't want to we can do something else," Declan blurted out quickly.

Clare smiled appreciatively, "No, we can go. It sounds cool."

"They're a really great band," Declan gushed, and his admiration for them kind of reminded Clare of Eli's adoration for Dead Hand.

She shook her head furiously, stopping herself from thinking about Eli.

"You okay?" Declan asked.

"Fine, just had ringing in my ears," Clare lied.

Declan smiled and pulled into the parking lot of the relatively small venue. Clare followed him inside, and was surprised to see how packed with people the venue was. From the bar to the stage people were pushing their way through to get to where they wanted to go.

Declan took Clare's hand in his own, "Let's find a way to the front."

"Okay," Clare replied and Declan led her through the seemingly endless crowd of hot, already sweaty bodies.

They stationed themselves about four rows of people away from the stage. Clare smiled as the band started playing. Declan positioned himself behind Clare, ready to block any drunken concert attendees from knocking into her.

"Did I tell you that you look amazing?" Declan whispered in her ear over the loud bass.

Clare shook her head and thanked God that the lighting inside was turned off or else her red face would've been embarrassing to see.

"Well, you do," Declan said.

"Thanks," Clare choked out in reply.

Declan put his hands on Clare's hips, not holding, just resting. "Do you mind?" He asked.

Clare shook her head. It felt weird; she wasn't used to guys, especially a guy like Declan, being so forward with her.

xXx

Eli and Julia walked hand in hand into the small venue. His heart felt like it was going to burst with love for the girl next to him. Julia was perfect in every way imaginable. He just wished that his friends could see. He was content that Clare accepted her for the moment though. Her opinion was the most important.

He and Julia weaseled their way through the sea of bodies until they were a few rows away from the stage. Eli wrapped his arms around Julia and pulled her towards himself. The band started playing one of their few slow songs and he and Julia swayed to the beat.

Eli let his eyes drift over the crowd of people, taking in the number of couples who were close together, enjoying being with the person they loved. Eli's body stiffened when he spotted two people together.

Declan was holding Clare similar to how he was holding Julia. Eli's eyes widened when he noticed Clare timidly lean into his touch. She turned her head slightly to smile up at him. He kissed the top of her head and held her close.

Eli felt his blood boiling. He had completely forgotten that tonight was Clare's date with the New York playboy.

"Ouch, Eli, too hard," Julia said, moving her arms out his tight grasp. He barely even noticed that he had started squeezing Julia harder as he watched Clare and Declan. He felt responsible for pushing her into dating him. Eli knew he should have checked him out first, now she was out with a player who only wanted to get into her pants.

Eli was barely even paying attention to the band now. His entire attention was on Clare and Declan, making sure that the "Prince Charming" kept his hands where he could see them. Julia turned her head to see where he was looking. When she spotted Clare, Eli felt her go cold. She pulled away from Eli and stomped away angrily deeper into the crowd.

Eli barely even noticed she was gone.

xXx

"Enjoy the show?" Declan asked, after they left the venue. It had gotten colder outside and Declan put his arm around her in an attempt to keep her warm.

"Yeah, thanks for bringing me," Clare answered, leaning into his warmth.

They had been close all night. Clare felt wanted, and for a brief moment she'd thought about how she'd feel if she was Eli's arms and not Declan's. She'd felt guilty for a few minutes after that, but then shushed those thoughts.

Declan stopped at the passenger side of the car, and Clare turned to face him. The lights in the parking lot were dim, and casted a dark gold over everything. Clare looked up through her lashes to see Declan looking at her with a small smile on his face. As cheesy as it sounded, she swore she felt her heart skip a beat or two. It was nice to have feelings reciprocated.

He leaned down towards her slowly, as if asking for permission. Clare angled her head towards his as a 'yes' and Declan took the initiative to close the gap between them. His lips were soft and she could feel him smiling into their kiss. Clare shifted forward and wrapped her arms around his neck; he hooked his fingers through the belt loops of her skirt and pulled her closer.

Clare felt her she stomach drop when she realized that she felt nothing from Declan's kiss.

xXx

Eli pulled Julia out of the venue hurriedly. She was still annoyed and didn't necessarily want to be with him right now. But she couldn't pull her hand out of his so she only quickened her pace to keep up with his.

They went searching for Bullfrog's car, which Eli had borrowed, when Julia noticed Clare and Declan making out against his car. She crossed her eyebrows and decided that it wasn't something Eli had to see, given how bothered he'd been when Declan was just holding Clare back inside. Julia knew there was something more between Eli and Clare that he hadn't told her about, or he wouldn't get so angry over her dating Declan.

Julia tried walking in the opposite direction, but Eli stayed frozen in place and she knew instantly that he had spotted them. She rolled her eyes and stood next to him, putting her hand gently over his arm.

Eli coughed loudly, which made Declan and Clare pull back instantly. Declan smiled when he spotted them, and Clare both paled in color and reddened to a blush that Julia didn't think was possible.

"Hey Eli," Declan said, "Didn't know you'd be here tonight."

His arm around Clare seemed to tighten, but not territorially. Julia felt Eli vibrate in anger next to her.

"Nice to see you too Declan," Eli said through gritted teeth and focused his eyes on Clare, who only seemed to get more and more embarrassed by the second. "Hey Clare."

"Hey Eli," she squeaked back, "hi Julia."

Julia nodded in response, with a wicked smile on her face.

"Well, I'd like to stay here and talk with you two, but I've got to sneak Clare into Adam's house," Declan spoke amusedly.

Eli's eyes widened and Julia got more and more pissed by his reactions.

"Bye," Clare said and climbed in his car, not looking at them again.

Declan pulled away but Eli remained frozen in place.

"Can we go now?" Julia scoffed.

"Whatever," Eli mumbled.

Once inside Bullfrog's car Julia cleared her throat as Eli drove back to his house. The way he was gripping the steering wheel indicated that he was still angry.

"Are you going to get like this all the time?" Julia asked.

"Like what?" Eli turned his head to look at her.

"I'm really trying to be understanding of the fact that your best friend is a girl and trust me when I say I don't mind that," she lied, "but you're so protective of her I can't help but wonder if you feel something more for her. Surely, there's a reason for why you looked like you wanted to rip Declan's face off when we saw them making out."

"There's more that I haven't been telling you," Eli confessed, "I don't feel anything for her more than what you know I do. But before I met you, before Christmas break, Clare confessed that she wanted to be more than friends with me. I turned her down and we've been trying to get our friendship back on track. I was fine with her dating Declan until I found out what a man whore he's been. I just think she might be dating him now to get over me, and I don't want him to take advantage of her."

Julia nodded, finally understanding why Clare had been so standoffish when they'd met. She was hurting.

"I can't believe she didn't tell her own father what she was doing tonight," Eli mumbled, already having forgotten Julia. Not that she minded now.

Julia had to have a small talk with Clare soon.

xXx

Declan pulled up to the Torres' house as quietly as possible so as to not wake up Adam and Drew's parents.

"Well, I'll see you Monday," Clare said turning to him, "thanks for tonight. I had a really good time."

Declan smiled, "Me too." He leaned over and pressed another chaste kiss on her lips; Clare responded but still felt nothing. She wondered if this is what Eli felt when he had kissed her.

She got out of his car and waved to him as he drove away. Clare was prepared to climb up to the second story and sneak in through the window, but was surprised when Drew opened the front door without hesitation.

Clare walked inside and kicked off her shoes, leaving them by the front door.

"Where are your parents? It's almost midnight. And where's Adam?" Clare asked, going to sit on the couch.

"Mom and Dad went to some family dinner party or other in Wasaga Beach. They won't be back until tomorrow night. Adam fell asleep about an hour ago, I was tempted to draw on his face, but then you'd hurt me when you saw," Drew answered.

"Damn right," Clare smiled.

Drew threw himself on the couch with Clare and threw his legs over her lap.

"Go ahead, I'm not tired or anything," Clare rolled her eyes.

"I know," Drew laughed making himself more comfortable, "So how was your date?"

"Fine, he took me to see The Audition. I had a good time," Clare said.

"Seemed like it was good, I could tell by the way you two were making out in his car!" Drew teased.

Clare blushed, "We were not making out. He kissed me once here."

"Specifics, specifics," Drew laughed.

Clare sighed and let her head fall back.

"Wait, The Audition? Eli and Julia were going to see them too," Drew pointed out.

"I know. We ran into them. Why is Eli so pissed? What happened to him and Adam? Why don't I know anything?" Clare said at once.

"Slow your roll girl-dude," Drew calmed her down. "I don't know what's up with Eli lately. We went to see him yesterday while you were shopping with Fiona and Alli, and we casually brought up your date and he just about lost it. Julia was pretty mad."

"Why did he get mad?" Clare furrowed her eyebrows, "He was the one who told me to go out with Declan."

"I know," Drew continued, "We were pretty confused. Adam told him just that and Eli went on about how Declan liked to screw over girls and leave them in pieces afterwards. He said you weren't going to be another notch on his bedpost."

"Does he think I can't defend myself? Does he think I'm stupid enough to give it up to a guy I don't know that well?" Clare asked, stunned.

Drew shrugged, "No one thinks you're stupid. Anyway, Eli and Adam started arguing because Adam and Fiona had a little chat with Declan about you. Eli was not happy to not be included. Some other stuff was said and then Adam left before he punched Eli's face in."

"What? What did they say?" Clare asked, shaking Drew.

"Just stuff, nothing you need to concern your pretty head with," Drew tried to cover up.

"Drew what are you hiding from me? There is something you are not telling me," Clare accused, crossing her arms.

"Well, it's just that Eli was ranting about being your best friend and knowing you better than all of us and Adam got really hurt. Eli started blabbing about how no one could take his place," Drew sufficed, deciding not to tell Clare that Eli has called her 'his'.

Clare knew there was something more, or else Drew wouldn't be avoiding her eyes, but decided not to make him confess anymore. She nodded slowly.

"Well, Eli can just," Clare mumbled, "sit down and shut up or something. He can't make decisions for me."

They stayed silent for a moment. Clare just wanted everything to go back to normal; she wished she could take back the day she kissed Eli and the day she told him how she really felt.

"You still like him don't you?" Drew asked softly.

Clare opened her eyes and looked down at Drew's legs in her lap, nodding slowly.

"I'm trying not to," she whispered back.

"Well, Adam, Fiona, Alli, and I are here to help in whichever way we can," Drew put his hand on Clare's and squeezed it.

"I felt nothing," Clare said suddenly.

Drew raised his eyebrow questioningly.

"When I kissed Declan, I could feel him kissing me, but I felt nothing. Inside I mean. There was like no chemistry, from my point of view at least," Clare explained.

"Oh," Drew stayed silent for a moment, pensive.

"And I don't want to lead him on, or hurt him either. Then it dawned on me that I'm doing to Declan, exactly what Eli did to me, and now I feel like the most terrible person alive," Clare sighed.

"Well, that's not true. But you might want to tell Declan how you're feeling. Do you think that you could…like him, I mean?" Drew asked.

"Maybe…yes…no…I don't know," Clare muttered.

"Well, it's better to talk to him before anything else happens," Drew said.

"Enough talking for tonight, I want to go to sleep. It is entirely to early on a Saturday morning for me to already be ruining my day, and I haven't even slept yet," Clare said, stifling a yawn and a laugh.

Drew got off of Clare and they walked upstairs, he gave her a kiss on the head before retreating to his room. Clare helped herself to some of Adam's sleeping clothes and climbed into his bed. Adam turned his body towards Clare and opened his eyes, just the slightest bit.

"Have fun?" he asked groggily.

Clare shrugged, "Sleep, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow." She wasn't ready to have the same conversation as she did with Drew again with Adam.

xXx

Eli was angry, pissed really. He had tossed and turned all night. When he and Julia had gotten back to his home he was too angry to continue their fooling around. Julia didn't get angry though, she had shrugged it off with a knowing smile on her face. It was an expression Eli hadn't seen on her before, she looked really relieved and had a patronizing smirk on her face. She'd hardly paid attention to Eli the rest of the night, but she wasn't ignoring him. It was as if she was off in her own world, thinking about something else. Eli shrugged it off as his girlfriend just being weird.

He couldn't believe Clare was letting herself be swept away by some guy with good hair and a nice car. He must be a sweet talker, Eli thought. He was still astonished at the fact that Clare was hiding Declan from her father.

Eli knew it was because her father probably wouldn't approve of him, or any other guys for that matter. Clare was still too young to have a boyfriend. She was naïve, and boys would take advantage of her.

He knew he had to stop Declan and Clare before it went any further.

It was just after seven in the morning when Eli got up from bed and drove to the Edwards' household. He left Julia a note, but he doubted that she'd even be awake before he came back.

Eli knocked on the Edwards' house urgently. Randall opened the door and was surprised to see Eli on his doorstep at such an early hour.

"Hey Eli, Clare isn't home, she stayed over Adam's yesterday. Isn't it a little early to be looking for her anyway?" Randall rubbed his tired eyes and Eli felt a little bit guilty about waking him up at such an ungodly hour.

"Randall, can I talk to you? It's about Clare."

* * *

><p>Thoughts?<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, I lied. There's one more chapter left of Clare's freshman year before the summer chapter. So much shit goes down next chapter, I'm not even joking. I'm still trying to see if I am going to have to break the summer part into more than one chapter...which I really don't want to. So it'll more than likely just be posted as one LONG AS FUCK EPIC CHAPTER. But you all won't mind, right? :) I thought not. Thank you all for your continuous love and support for this story, especially my beta WhatEverHappened.

Don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry.

Chapter dedication: DegrassiCat, Epic Venom and lili480 - you three have left me the best reviews and I adore you!

In other news: I graduated high school last night. Leave me some sweet reviews as gifts?

* * *

><p>Clare spent all of Saturday morning and most of the afternoon at the Torres' household. Alli and Fiona had shown up early in the morning, desperate to know how the date had gone.<p>

Adam had opened the door sleepily, already knowing it was them, "You couldn't ask your brother how it went?"

"Please, a boy's point of view is so vague and plain," Alli said, allowing herself in.

"Plus, he spent the rest of the night fawning until I kicked him so I know how he thinks it went," Fiona gushed, "but I want to know what you thought."

Clare and Drew exchanged a look and Adam knew something was up. Thankfully, Alli and Fiona were too excited to notice.

"Ew, girl talk," Drew wrinkled his nose and walked towards the kitchen.

Adam lagged behind, also wanting to know how it went, since he was asleep when Clare had come back last night and didn't have the chance to talk about it. However, instead of talking, the girls stared at him strangely.

"What?" Adam asked.

"Drew was right, this is girl talk. Go make breakfast or something," Alli teased.

Adam narrowed his eyes before finally resigning with a sigh, "Even in my own house, I am bossed around."

Clare, Alli and Fiona laughed as Adam went to look for Drew.

Alli and Fiona turned to Clare with wide, anxious eyes.

"So?" Alli asked excitedly.

"Yeah?" Clare said coyly.

"This is no time to get shy Clare," Fiona exclaimed.

Clare rolled her eyes and smiled, "It was great. I had a really good time."

"That's it?" Alli shrieked, "No detail? No suspense? No kiss?"

Clare blushed when Alli said kiss and both her and Fiona squealed in delight.

"Oh god, please no high pitched screams. It is entirely too early for that," Drew shouted from the kitchen.

"Yeah, some of us are still half asleep," Adam shouted.

The girls ignored them and continued talking.

"Oh god, ew, you kissed my brother, but hooray for you," Fiona said.

"So was it good?" Alli asked. Fiona made a disgusted face because it was her brother after all, but she listened closely nonetheless.

Clare felt bad, the kiss itself was good. But how good can a kiss be if you felt nothing? When she kissed Declan, she felt nothing. Not like when she'd kissed Eli.

Clare nodded, hoping they'd stop berating her soon. Alli and Fiona seemed satisfied with her answers and let her be.

She let out a relieved sigh.

xXx

Clare walked into her house in an excellent mood. She planned on spending the rest of her day with her father. Lately they'd both been busy and hadn't gotten to spend much time together outside of dinner.

She kicked off her shoes and was grateful that she'd borrowed some of Adam's "Gracie" clothes that his mother still had stored away. Clare really didn't feel like lying about why she was wearing a skirt and a too tight shirt to a sleep over.

What Clare didn't expect was her father sitting on the living room couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. His hands were clasped together and his chin rested on them. Clare never saw her father this stoic, only on the days of her mother's birthday or her passing anniversary.

Clare felt a terror shoot through her body.

"Dad, did something happen?" She asked urgently.

Randall turned to Clare, and shot her a glare. His eyebrows crossed in anger.

"Sit down, Clare," he commanded.

Clare let her overnight bag slip from her shoulder and sat down on the couch. She braced herself for bad news and placed her hands on her lap.

"Where were you last night Clare?" He asked calmly.

"I was with Adam and Drew. I told you I was staying over their house," Clare swallowed nervously.

"Before that Clare, where were you before you went to their house?" He asked.

Clare felt herself go pale with guilt and tore her gaze away from her father's knowing eyes.

"I went out with Declan Coyne, Fiona's brother," Clare confessed, feeling her chest constrict.

Her father blew up after that, "Clare Diana Edwards you are barely fifteen years old! Where in the hell did you get the idea that it was okay to lie to me and go out with some boy I don't know?"

"I told you he's Fiona's twin brother," Clare said nervously. He'd never yelled at her like he was doing now.

"Fiona is a year older than you, meaning that her twin is also older than you. Clare, you lied to me and went out with a boy I don't know that is a year older than you," her dad yelled.

Clare flinched and looked down at her sock clad feet.

"Where did you two go?" He asked impatiently.

"We went to a concert downtown," she mumbled.

"A concert, and how did you get there?" He questioned.

"He…drove," Clare clenched her eyes shut as if it would help block the reaction that was about to come.

"You got into a car with a boy I don't know to go on a date that I knew nothing about. And what's worse is that you had two of your friends, friends of yours that I trust, help you scheme your way into going out with this strange boy," he sneered.

Clare bit her lip to keep it from trembling, but couldn't stop the anxious tapping of her foot on the floor.

"I'm sorry," Clare whimpered.

"It is too late for sorry Clare. Well, needless to say, you will not be seeing that boy anymore. I can't help if you see him at school, but outside of there you will not speak to him. You are to come home straight after school, for the time being. And until I can trust you again Clare, you will not be going out with your friends. They may come over only when I am home. I am also letting Audra and Omar know what their sons did in your scheme," Randall scolded.

Clare nodded, still refusing to look up at her father's angered face. She felt terrible about dragging Adam and Drew into this mess.

"And it should go without saying that you are absolutely not allowed to date anyone. You are too young," he said.

Clare felt like crying, but knew she couldn't because she deserved this.

"You should be thankful that you have one caring friend," Randall said, sitting down in his recliner.

Clare looked up, confused.

"Eli came over this very morning to let me know that he had seen you and Declan at the concert together. You have one very caring friend Clare. I knew I liked that boy," Randall explained.

Clare felt her blood boil.

"Can I go upstairs now?" She asked, trying to mask her anger.

"Yes, think about what you've done Clare and it is not to happen again. Am I correct?"

Clare hated being talked to like she was a five year old, "Of course."

She picked up her bag, shoes and tried her hardest not to stomp her way up the stairs to her room. She closed her door gently, though all she wanted to do was slam it.

Clare went to lie down on her bed and curled up under the covers. It was only late afternoon, but Clare cried herself into a fourteen hour sleep.

xXx

Clare trudged up the steps of Degrassi. She didn't want to be at school, or even out of her house. She wished she was still curled up in her bed, staring blankly at the wall.

"Why didn't you call or pick up the rest of the weekend?" Alli asked, joining Clare's side. "Fiona and I went to the movies and we wanted to see if you wanted to come with."

"I slept most of the rest of the weekend. I barely left my room," Clare answered hollowly.

"Why? Are you sick?" Alli asked, concerned.

"No, I'm fine," Clare replied.

"Then why do you look like you've been crying non-stop?" She pressed.

Clare didn't feel like replying, so she didn't.

Drew came up to them, looking as sullen as she did. Alli took a look at her two miserable friends and went off to find Fiona, muttering something about not letting their sadness infect her today. Clare and Drew looked at each other and she sighed in defeat.

"I'm sorry," Clare said, "you're in trouble and it's my entire fault."

Drew laid his head on Clare's shoulder, "It's not your fault that Eli can't keep his mouth shut and doesn't recognize, ugh, just forget about it. Adam and I are not angry with you in the least."

"How bad was it?" Clare asked.

"Mom is dropping us off, picking us up, and decided to work from home for the next few weeks, twenty four hour mom watch. Dad didn't say much, just said I couldn't take the car, not that we're allowed to go out anyway," Drew answered.

"We're in the same boat then, I'm a prisoner in my own home. And of course I can never see Declan again," Clare said.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Drew asked and Clare furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "You felt nothing for him when you kissed him. Now you can't see him, so you don't have to tell him how you feel. Easy way out."

Clare knocked Drew over the head with her notebook, "I'm not going to cop-out so easily Drew. I'm going to talk with Declan today."

Drew shrugged and let his head fall back against the locker in anguish.

"Where's Adam?" Clare asked.

"Don't know. Lost sight of him as soon as we entered the school," Drew said, "he's the one you should be worried about. Hell's fury has nothing on how pissed Adam is right now."

Clare frowned and looked around for him.

"Look who it is! Mr. Best Friend himself," Drew said bitterly.

She whipped her head around to see Eli walking their way slowly, Julia at his side. They sported knowing smiles on their faces.

"Adam," Drew called out. He was walking towards them from the opposite direction with a pissed off expression. He dropped his book bag at Clare's feet and kept on walking in Eli's direction.

Clare was going to ask him what he was doing when Adam walked straight up to Eli and punched his jaw. Eli howled in pain and everyone in the hallway gasped and looked on in shock. Drew and Clare stood frozen in their spots. Eli slid to the floor, grabbing his chin tenderly. Julia knelt next to Eli and inspected him. He was bleeding from his lip and it was already starting to swell.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Julia screamed at Adam.

"You and I are not friends," Adam spit venomously at Eli. He turned away from them and walked towards Clare and Drew. He picked up his book bag without a word and left. Drew immediately chased after his brother.

Clare looked towards Eli who was still on the floor in pain, and then looked in the direction that Adam had left. She turned back at Eli, who was staring back at her. Anger rose inside Clare as she had an internal battle over which friend to check up on.

Without a second thought, Clare ran after Adam.

xXx

Clare chased Adam and Drew, who were now sitting outside at one of the picnic tables. Drew had his head in his hands, and Adam was looking into the distance, anger still etched across his features.

"Adam." Clare said quietly, "Are you okay?"

Adam snorted, "I'm not the one who got punched in the face. I feel great."

Drew groaned in his seat, "You're going to get suspended. Mom is going to kill you."

Adam shrugged, "I don't care, and he deserved it."

Clare hooked piece of her hair behind her ear and leaned her head on Adam's shoulder. He looped his arm around her, pulling her close.

"It's my fault, you should be mad at me," she mumbled.

"Clare, I have never heard anything more preposterous than what you just said," Adam scoffed. "One, it's absolutely not your fault, at all. I went along with it willingly. Two, even if it was your fault, which it's not, I would never hit you. I probably wouldn't even be angry with you. Three, it's all Eli's fault."

"Whatever you say," Clare responded, still feeling guilty.

xXx

Clare was walking down the hallway by herself. She had waited for Adam outside of Mr. Simpson's office, to see what his punishment for punching Eli was. All Adam had gotten was a stern lecture and a week's worth of lunch detention. Adam wasn't even angry about it.

She wasn't paying attention until she heard someone calling her.

"Clare," said a feminine voice that Clare had become acquainted with.

"Hi Julia," Clare replied, giving her a forced smile.

Julia was giving her that same analytical, scrutinizing, and uncomfortable once over that she gave Clare the first time she met her. Julia scoffed and Clare raised an eyebrow, getting irritated with her judgmental tendencies.

"I don't know what Eli sees in you," Julia said, frustrated. "Everything he does is about you. He can't be happy with me because it hurts you."

Clare stared at Julia, waiting for her to continue.

"You know, when I first started dating Eli, he said we had to hide it for a little while. I thought it was because of his parents or something. When he told me it was because his best friend was a girl he'd known forever, I shrugged it off, figuring that since you two were like siblings, he didn't want to affect your friendship so suddenly with such a change. So I accepted. When we started getting serious, he brought me to his parents, Adam and Drew but I still hadn't met you. I kept asking him, begging him to let me meet you. He would just smile sadly and say 'not yet, but soon'. I stayed up late at night wondering why he was hiding me from you, since you are so important to him. The way he spoke about you though, it was like you were his other half. I was so intimidated by you, and his hiding me didn't make it better."

Clare shifted from foot to foot nervously, "Julia, I, -."

"No, Clare. I'm not done," Julia snapped and continued her rant. "I was so intimidated by you, and when he finally said we could meet I wanted to tell him to forget it, but I was also desperate to see who you were and why you are so significant to him."

Julia paused for a moment, before chuckling softly, mockingly. "And when I finally met you, boy was I relieved. I thought you'd be Miss Universe or something, but you were just this little, meek girl. I was so happy I think I hugged you," she recalled. "I don't know what I'd been so worried about."

Clare felt her cheeks flaring up in anger.

"After that I was sure I'd see you around all the time, given that you are best friends. But I saw you the least. Drew's always around. Adam hates me but I don't care, Eli cares, but I really, really could care less if that freak likes me. But your opinion of me seemed vital to Eli. You seemed so standoffish though, you weren't outwardly cold to us like Adam, but there was something about you that I couldn't pinpoint, until Friday night anyway."

"What?" Clare asked harshly and felt her patience running thin.

"You see last week when Drew mentioned that you were out with Alli and Fiona shopping for your date, he got really angry. He went on about how Declan's a player and this and that. I don't know what happened after that because I was upstairs in his bathroom, upset. He followed me upstairs and told me he loved me, and apologized for making me feel like I come second to you. Which I do, or I did. There's one thing I didn't come second to you in, one first that no one else will have."

Julia eyes glowed excitedly, smugly and Clare gasped when she understood her innuendo. Julia smirked and then got visibly angry again.

"Then we see you on your date and he was so mad, like you were cheating on him or something. Eli watched you like a hawk the entire night. I kept telling him that it was okay for you to date people. He said no and when I asked him why, he gave me an answer that I should've been able to sum up myself, because you're so obvious. He told me what happened before Christmas Clare," Julia narrowed her eyes angrily.

Clare stared at the ground, taken aback.

"Eli told me about your confession, how you wanted to take things further with him. When he turned you down, things were shaken up, which is why he didn't want me to meet you. It all made sense then. When I met you, you were so put off but now I see that you were still upset because you like him. You still do, even right now. And it kills you to see me with him."

"No, it doesn't," Clare bit back.

"Oh honey, who are you trying to lie to? It's written all over your face. You still have feelings for him. I feel bad for Declan, the one guy that gives a girl like you the time of day and you're smitten with someone else. Well, re-direct your feelings Clare, and fast. Eli is with me, and I'm not going anywhere, especially after what we shared. He and I are closer than ever. If you want to salvage what's left of your broken friendship, you better get over him."

And with that Julia strutted away, feeling extremely good about herself.

Clare felt feverish, and cold. She walked to the nurse's office and the nurse gave her one look over and pointed her to one of the beds. She curled up into a ball and begged for the day to be over.

xXx

Clare felt fingertips on her face. Her eyes fluttered open to see Adam moving locks of hair away from her eyes.

"Good afternoon sleepy head, it's time to go home," Adam said.

Clare shot up in the cot and jumped off the bed. The sudden movement made her dizzy and she held onto Adam before she could fall.

"How long was I out?" Clare asked.

"The nurse said you got here during fifth period. You looked really sick apparently. You still look more pale than usual," Adam pointed out.

"Okay, I have to go home before my dad gets there," Clare sighed and grabbed her things.

"Want me to walk you home?" Adam asked.

"It's probably better if you and Drew fly under the radar with my dad for a few weeks," Clare said sadly.

"Fucking Eli," Adam rolled his eyes.

They walked down the hallway until they reached the small gathering of Fiona, Alli, Drew and Declan.

"Hey, you okay?" Fiona asked, concern lacing her tone.

Clare nodded once and rubbed the tiredness from her eyes.

Declan looked at her meaningfully before pulled her aside and away from their friends. "Can I talk to you? It's about what happened with Julia."

Clare cocked an eyebrow but nodded anyway, "We can. But not now, I have to get home."

"Drew told Fiona and Fi told me what Eli did. I can drive you home and we can talk on the way there if you want," Declan mumbled pleadingly.

Coincidentally, Julia and Eli walked by them, on their way out, no doubt. Eli shot Declan a hateful look that Declan responded to only with an eye roll. Julia didn't turn to look at them but Clare could see a tiny smile trying to escape on her face. Adam looked like he wanted to injure Eli again. Fiona and Alli each put a hand over each of his arms, holding him back. "At least wait until you're off school grounds," Fiona muttered.

Clare turned to Declan and nodded once, "Okay, take me home."

Declan gave her a side smile and they turned away from their friends with a small wave. Clare followed Declan out to his car.

He was parked beside the car that Bullfrog was letting Eli drive now that he had his license. Eli and Julia were in the car, stalling. When they saw Clare and Declan coming their way, Eli frowned. Julia kept a blank expression.

Clare climbed into Declan's car and turned her head to see Eli giving her an infuriated glare. She ignored him and waited for Declan to pull away.

xXx

Declan drove slowly, seemingly unaware of how to start this talk.

Clare cleared her throat, "You heard everything Julia said to me?"

"Yeah, I went to make copies for Ms. Oh and I turned the corner and saw both of you standing there. I was going to leave you two alone but decided to stay in case you needed help," Declan admitted.

"I'm sorry," Clare mumbled, trying to hide the tears waiting to escape.

"No need to be sorry," Declan said calmly.

Clare looked to him confusedly.

"Can I be honest with you?" Declan asked.

"Please," replied Clare.

"Well," Declan began, "when we went on our date, it was great and all, but I felt like…there was something missing."

"What?" Clare asked.

"Don't get me wrong, I really, really liked kissing you," Declan smiled teasingly at the deep blush Clare acquired when he said that, "but there was none of that…whatever it is you're supposed to feel."

"I understand," Clare smiled easily, relieved now that she wasn't the only one who felt like that.

"Good, I'm glad," Declan chuckled.

A sudden angry look took over Clare's features.

"What's wrong?" Declan asked.

"Well, now I'm angry that Eli got away with what he did," Clare mumbled, "and for nothing. Since you and I aren't more than friends."

Declan thought about what she said as he drove down the mostly empty street, "It sucks that he would sell you out like that."

"I'm so mad at him," Clare clenched her fists.

"And you have the right to be," Declan said.

"Just, ugh, if I wanted to I would walk up to his house and tell Cece that he and Julia had sex" Clare huffed.

"You wouldn't do that to him," Declan said slowly.

"I know," Clare whispered, "it was just a thought."

Declan stared at the road ahead, thinking. "I got it," he exclaimed, making Clare jump in her seat.

"What?"

"Well, you're not allowed out of your house right?"

"Yeah," Clare replied, "so?"

"How about we play pretend? Just to piss off Eli," Declan suggested excitedly.

"I…don't…know," Clare let his words mull over in her mind. She was mad at Eli, but she didn't necessarily want to make him angry with her either.

"It's up to you, I know you still like him but he's got a girlfriend and he's putting a stop to you finding love. Is he going to do that with every guy you date?" Declan wondered out loud.

Clare remembered that it was Eli's suggestion to go on a date with Declan in the first place.

"You're right. Who is he to tell me who I can and can't date?" Clare said defiantly.

"So…?" Declan asked, pulling up to her house. The driveway was empty, fortunately.

"Okay," Clare stated, "let's do it."

"Cool, so then I'll pick you up tomorrow, _girlfriend_," Declan said.

Clare climbed out of the car, "Bye _boyfriend_. Let's just keep our plan to ourselves though, okay?"

Declan nodded and drove away.

xXx

The next morning Clare and Declan walked into Degrassi together. His arm was wrapped around her shoulder, and her arm was looped around his waist. As was expected, people gawked at them and whispered behind them as they walked.

They ventured to Clare's locker first; Declan leaned against the wall as she fumbled with her books. She smiled at him and he smiled back and winked.

"It's now or never Clare," Declan reminded her as Eli turned the corner with Drew in tow.

"You just want to kiss me," Clare narrowed her eyes.

"We may just be faking a relationship but kissing you sure is a benefit of my broken heart," Declan joked.

Clare blushed, "You are hilarious."

"I try," Declan said confidently. He leaned forward and gently pushed her ever falling glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Now Clare," he said as Eli and Drew neared them.

She mustered up all of the courage she had in her body and pressed her lips against Declan's. He let his hands rest on her waist and she pulled him forward by wrapping her arms around his neck.

A loud cough broke them apart and Declan gave Clare a knowing smile before the both of them turned towards Drew and Eli. Drew's eyes were as wide as saucers and Eli's seemed to darken with fury.

"What the hell is going on here?" Eli spat, clenching his fists.

"Well Eli," Declan started, "what's going on here is exactly what it looks like."

He put his arm around Clare and pulled her close, looking down at Eli smugly. Clare felt Eli staring at her and felt like swallowing her tongue, she couldn't speak.

"When did this start?" Drew asked.

"Yesterday afternoon, after I drove Clare home. Nothing, not even you, is going to keep us apart. We're doing nothing wrong," Declan explained, focused directly on Eli. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her head. Clare felt herself becoming extremely red. "Now if you'll excuse us, I have to walk Clare to class."

Declan and Clare left Drew and Eli behind. Clare could feel Eli's glare on her back until they turned the corner.

xXx

Clare was tapping the end of her pen nervously against her bottom lip. She was distracted from the history book in front her that was waiting to have notes taken from it. Just as she put her pen to paper, a small ping came from her window.

She looked at the clock and saw that it read ten forty-five. There was only one person that ever came to see Clare that late. She sighed and closed her book, knowing that her homework was now never getting done. She walked over to her window and unclasped the latch before lifting up the rickety old wood.

Eli crawled in and landed on her floor with a dull thud. Both of their hearts stopped for a moment as they struggled to hear if Randall had been awakened. When nothing happened, they both let out short breaths of relief.

"What do you want?" Clare asked. "And make it quick because if my dad finds you here, I am dead. I'm already in enough trouble thanks to you."

Eli gave her a disbelieving look, "You should be thanking me for trying to keep you away from that creep."

"Thanking you? I'm not allowed to leave my house because of you. Adam and Drew are on lockdown in their own homes because of you," Clare snapped. "What's wrong with you anyway? What is your problem with Declan? You told me to give him a chance and then got me in trouble when I did!"

"He's just not who I thought he was and you shouldn't be with someone like him," Eli stated matter-of-factly.

"I didn't tell you not to date Julia, you can't turn around and tell me I can't see Declan," Clare said. She wanted to tell him she knew that they'd had sex, and wanted to ask him how he'd feel if she went and told Cece, but Clare held back and bit her tongue.

"Dammit Clare!" Eli yelled and curled his fist, Clare's eyes widened and grabbed his wrist before he punched the wall, or the desk and woke up her father.

Eli looked down at his fist in her small hand and sighed, letting his head fall onto her shoulder dejectedly. "Why don't you just listen to me?" He breathed calmly into the hollow of her neck.

Clare froze and steadied herself before gently carding her fingers through Eli's hair, "I'm going to keep seeing Declan," she said slowly.

Eli's shoulders fell and he pulled Clare in closely, hugging her. He lifted her chin so they could see each other eye to eye. "I can't stop you from seeing him, I guess. But just promise me you'll be careful because if he does something to you, I'll rip his face off."

Clare almost told him the truth; that she and Declan weren't even really dating. She knew she had nothing to worry about but she lied anyway. "I promise. If he does anything, you're the first person I'll run to."

Eli pulled back and laughed, their foreheads pressed together. Their breaths mixed and Clare felt intoxicated by his sweet scent.

"I just worry about you and that creep," Eli sighed.

"You don't have to," Clare stated, "I know what I'm doing."

"It's getting pretty late," Eli whispered, "I should probably go."

He started pulling away but Clare didn't let go. "You can stay over if you want," she blurted in a rush.

Eli's eyebrow rose, "I can't even remember the last time we stayed over the other's house."

"I know," Clare replied, "before this mess I created."

"Stop feeling guilty over that, you couldn't help what you felt," Eli said. "We just have to focus on getting us back to normal."

Clare sighed and nodded, wanting to say that it wasn't _felt_, it was _feel_. She still had feelings for him now, they weren't gone and they probably wouldn't be for a long time.

"So are you staying, or…?" Clare asked.

Eli pretended to think about it hard. "I'll stay," he said finally, and Clare's heart skipped with joy. She went to look for some of the spare clothes he was always leaving around her house before and went to change in the bathroom. He remembered when they could change in the same room, without weirdness being a factor. Eli frowned when he realized that Clare wasn't as comfortable around him anymore.

She walked back into the room and slid under her covers where Eli was already waiting. Clare pushed the thoughts of him doing this with Julia out of her mind, but suddenly felt like maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But when Eli hugged her tightly, any form of thought process was cut off.

"I missed this," Eli mumbled.

"Me too," Clare whispered in reply.

They faced each other and smiled. Eli took her hand in his and brushed his thumb softly over her knuckles.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "for getting you in trouble. I don't know what came over me though, I was mad. I'd pushed you into going out without a guy who I found out was a horn dog, and you hadn't even told your dad about it. What if he had done something to you Clare?"

"Well, he didn't and you're underestimating me Eli," Clare replied harshly. "I'm not some weak little princess; I can take care of myself. If I hadn't wanted to kiss him I would've pushed him away."

"Like I said, I don't know what came over me. I saw you with him and I got angry. I care about you too much to just let you throw yourself at someone else," Eli responded.

"Ugh, can we stop talking about this? You're only serving to make me angrier with you," Clare replied defensively. "And I wasn't throwing myself at him."

"Okay, I'll stop. Just don't be mad," Eli begged. "I just remembered that I promised to always take care of you."

Clare giggled at the old memory, "Only if I need it though."

"Deal," he paused for a moment, thinking about what to say next. "You're still my best friend Clare, and I love you more than anyone else."

"I know. I love you too, you moron," Clare replied earning herself a soft punch to the arm.

They fell asleep shortly after, close together like before.

xXx

A few weeks later things got a lot better. Drew, Adam and Clare were allowed back into the real world. Drew wasn't mad at Eli anymore, not that Drew ever stayed mad at anyone for long. He was very forgiving. Adam was still peeved, but talked to Eli and accepted his apology.

Clare had talked to Fiona and asked her to stop giving Eli hateful glares. Fiona agreed to stop adamantly. Alli just went with the flow, but Clare could tell she had something else on her mind.

Declan and she continued their charade. Most of their "dates" consisted of sneaking away to watch subtitled foreign language films that Eli hated, or pretend they were going to do something completely romantic when they'd actually go on long drives and just talk.

They had grown close and Clare was genuinely happy. Her fake relationship with Declan got her friends off of her back, though Drew had been confused at first, clearly remembering their conversation after the first date. Clare had simply told Drew that Declan was helping her get over Eli which wasn't a total lie. Fiona and Alli stopped worrying so much and Adam was able to somewhat fix his friendship with Eli. She harbored no romantic feelings towards Declan and vice versa but they were comfortable. He had the ability to make Clare stop thinking about Eli for awhile, and she kept him out of trouble.

Declan and she had agreed that they would "break up" just before school let out for the summer, right before he and Fiona left for New York.

xXx

Eli sat frustrated on his bed. He was happy that he and Clare were almost all patched up now. Julia seemed to be put off by it at first but Eli had assured her that nothing was going to happen. Right now all he was aggravated about was Clare and Declan. Eli had promised Clare that he wouldn't be outwardly mean to her boyfriend but he couldn't help but notice that Declan always seemed closest to Clare when he was around. Almost as if Declan was taunting him, claiming Clare as territory or something.

Eli didn't know why this troubled him so much, but it did.

The sunny May sky broke through the blinds. Eli couldn't believe how time passed by so fast. His and Julia's six month anniversary was just around the corner and he had no clue what to get her. If he wasn't mistaken then Clare and Declan's two month anniversary loomed near as well.

Eli thought they were an odd pair, like two opposites attracting. The thought of them as magnets made him slightly sick. They weren't very affectionate in public, probably because Clare disapproved of heavy PDA but it only worried him about what they might do when they were alone, especially because Clare refused to tell her dad about her boyfriend. Declan didn't seem to mind being hidden though.

At that moment, Julia stumbled in through his bedroom door. "Hey baby," she said in her baby voice. Eli always chuckled at how her girly voice contrasted so severely with her tough girl appearance.

"Hello Jules," he replied as she pulled him in for a kiss.

"What's got you pensive?" she asked when they pulled apart.

"Clare," Eli responded.

Julia rolled her eyes, "Don't know why I asked, the answer is always the same."

"I'm with you Julia, I love you," Eli sighed, "you have to get over your Clare jealousy."

"Whatever, I don't feel like fighting about Clare _again_," Julia said.

"Fine, want to go to The Dot or something?" Eli asked impatiently.

"Alright, I've been craving their double chocolate cheesecake," Julia said, jumping from the bed.

"Craving?" Eli asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh relax, captain paranoid. I'm not pregnant," Julia scoffed. Ever since they'd started having sex, Eli had become paranoid that she would become pregnant. Julia found it funny that she was the one assuring him that she wouldn't get pregnant before they had sex, she was on the pill and they always used condoms. She didn't want to carry Eli's spawn at sixteen either.

The afternoon was sunny but there was a slight chilly breeze in the air. They walked to The Dot instead of taking Bullfrog's car. He held open the door for Julia and looked around, he saw a bunch of people from school, either working on final projects for the year, or studying for upcoming finals. He wondered if there was somewhere less Degrassi populated they could go.

He heard a familiar laugh and looked towards the back corner of the café. Clare and Declan were sitting in a small booth laughing.

"Order for me," he told Julia, and gestured to Clare and Declan.

"Of course," Julia deadpanned when she saw them.

Eli made his way over to them, "Hey guys."

Clare greeted him with a warm smile that filled him with joy. "Hi Eli," she said, still laughing at whatever she and Declan had been discussing before.

"Hello Eli," Declan acknowledged.

"So what's so funny?" Eli tried to ask casually.

"Clarebear and I just came back from the Foreign Film Theatre. We thought we were going to see a subtitled Norwegian comedy, but they cancelled it and had four different movies instead. Three we've already seen so we decided to stay and watch the fourth. Turned out it was a very dramatic Arabic film and it was not subtitled," Declan explained.

"But we stayed anyway, sitting in the back of the theatre," Clare said slowly, recovering from laughter and Eli's heart stopped momentarily. There was only one thing you did sitting in the back of a movie you were uninterested in. "And made up terrible dialogue that didn't go along with the movie at all," Clare finished.

Eli let out a breath of relief which Declan raised an eyebrow at.

"Hello," Julia greeted, popping up at Eli's side with a giant slice of cheesecake and two forks, "we're sharing." She said.

"Hey Julia," Clare said, trying to smile. Her eyes averted from Julia to a picture on the wall.

"Hi," Declan said curtly, and put his hand over Clare's. Her eyes met his and he gave her a warm, knowing smile. Clare smiled back in response and Eli felt nauseous.

"Well, we'll leave you two lovebirds alone," Julia said merrily and pulled Eli to a table across the café. Eli sat next to Julia and watched her take small bites of the cheesecake.

He unintentionally let his gaze flow from Julia to Clare, who had moved from her seat and slid into the same booth Declan. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her forehead before whispering something in her ear. Eli suddenly lost his appetite and pushed his fork away. Julia noticed his change in mood and looked over to see what he was looking at. When she spotted Declan and Clare she scoffed loudly and dropped her fork on the plate with a loud 'clink'.

The noise brought Eli's attention back to her. She leaned back in her chair, with an expression on her face that was a cross between fury and melancholy.

"What?" He asked.

"You're an idiot," Julia snarled. She picked up her bag from the floor and walked out of The Dot.

Eli rolled his eyes, he wondered briefly if they'd make it to their sixth month anniversary. Julia was always snapping at him over one thing or another, and he never felt like arguing with her. He loved her, but he felt them drifting apart. Something was taking over but he didn't know what.

Surrendering, Eli stood up from his table and walked out, prepared to trail his girlfriend. Before he walked out, Eli looked back at the table where Declan and Clare were sitting. She looked over at him and smiled softly, having noticed their dispute and Julia storming off. Her smile brought a happiness to him that nothing else could.

Eli turned away from her and walked out into the descending daylight to look for his girlfriend.

xXx

"They're breaking up soon," Declan muttered before taking a gulp of his coffee.

"Who?" Clare asked, turning back from her small exchange with Eli.

"Eli and Julia," Declan stated matter-of-factly.

"Why do you say that?" Clare asked, leaning into his hold.

"All they do is fight. Julia's always pressed about something and Eli looks like he doesn't even care anymore," Declan clarified.

"He loves her though," Clare replied emptily.

"Silly teenage love isn't going to save a relationship where one wants it too much, and the other doesn't give a fuck," Declan deadpanned.

"You think Eli doesn't care about her?" Clare asked.

"No, I'm certain that he does, he may even actually love her, but he's confused. Eli's a mess of emotions that he can't get straight. He doesn't know what he wants, and I think he's scared to acknowledge it," Declan explained, furrowing his eyebrows in irritation.

"Okay, oh wise one, if you think you've got Eli all figured out, then what does he want?" Clare asked.

Declan looked down at his faux girlfriend and noticed the slight sparkle in her eye. He wanted desperately to give her the answer she was subconsciously hoping for, but he didn't want to get her hopes up.

Clare was leading him to believe that her feelings for Eli were starting to diminish, but she wasn't a very good liar. Admittedly, she didn't wear her heart on her sleeve now, but it was the small things she did that gave her true feelings away. Eli's too, for that matter. They were like magnets, whenever the one was in the room, the other's eyes would scramble to find them.

Declan wasn't jealous, he really wasn't. He just didn't want Clare to get hurt after she seemed to be really trying to piece herself back together. Eli definitely had feelings for Clare, feelings he seemed to be too clouded by his 'love' for Julia to recognize. It wouldn't be long though, before they found their way to each other.

Declan just hoped Eli didn't make things worse.

"I can't tell you what Eli wants," he replied, finally answering Clare's question.

"Why not?" Clare asked, pouting slightly.

"Because he himself doesn't know, but when he does, you're probably the first person he'll tell," he said.

Clare narrowed her eyes at him quizzically. "You're being cryptic and I don't particularly like it," Clare joked.

Declan smirked in reply, "Patience love."

xXx

"What is your problem?" Eli asked Julia. He had snuck into her room. She was lying on her bed, one foot dangled over the edge, moving back and forth rhythmically.

"You, and by default Clare," Julia said quietly, kicking at the carpeted floor under her foot.

"What? What is it now Julia? Was I looking at her too long? Did I hug her too tightly? What did I do now?" Eli asked exasperatedly.

"You are so blind, even about yourself Eli!" Julia screeched, "You say you love me but when Clare's around, it's like I don't even exist!"

"You're exaggerating," Eli said calmly.

"No, I'm not! It happens all the time. You love me but it's like you can't live without Clare," Julia cried, "and you're so jealous of Declan, it makes me sick. I hate Clare, I hate her. I hate that she does anything, anything, stupid and insignificant as it might be but you'll gawk at it like she's made a miracle happen."

"Julia, I-," Eli started.

"No, Eli. Leave me alone," Julia wiped the tears from her eyes. "Get yourself straight, figure out what it is you really want then come talk to me."

She sat up and gestured to the window Eli had snuck in from. When Eli crawled out she shut it, locked it and closed her curtains.

Eli made his way down carefully. He walked home, but decided to take the long route through the park, to clear his head. He had a long night ahead of him.

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Review please.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

[Don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry]

So this was the final chapter of Clare as a freshman. Next is my summer chapter and ugh, I have so much ready for it! It won't be posted until probably the first week of July though. I'm going to focus the rest of this week and next on pushing out two chapters of I Have Friends in Holy Spaces for those of you that read it. [I apologize for the long hiatus on it. When you read what happens though, I think you'll forgive me. ;)]

Those two new Now or Never promos made me so freaking worried for Eclare. Never giving up hope though! In fact, they kind of put me in a really good mindset for IHFIHS. As always thank you for all of the kind reviews. They mean the world to me. And thanks especially to my beta WhatEverHappened, you're the best!

Review, Review, Review!

* * *

><p>Clare ran as fast as her feet could carry her. It had been months since she felt this exuberant. Her heart was pounding, her lungs begged for more oxygen, her face was red from heat and her muscles ached for her to stop. She chased the soccer ball around the field with vigor. Nothing else existed except the ball she was kicking and the net she was about to shoot at. It was simple and it was normal.<p>

If only everything was simple and normal.

Clare lifted her right leg and turned it slightly outwards to kick the ball with the side of her foot. With a loud "pop" the ball went soaring towards the net where Alli stood, completely frozen with terror. She had kicked the ball just in time too, because in the next second she tasted the grass that was once underneath her. Sadie, a former volleyball teammate, had toppled her over by accident. She had been running too fast and didn't have the time to stop properly.

A shrill scream ripped from Alli's throat and she dropped to her knees and curled her body like you would during a tornado drill. The ball went in and Clare shoved Sadie off of her before standing back up and jumping for joy.

Clare's team ran to her and they screamed with joy over their win. Coach Kelly blew her whistle, signaling the end of gym and told the girls to go change.

Clare wiped the sweat from her forehead with the sleeve of her shirt and tried to ignore the feeling of being watched.

xXx

May was a wonderful month for many reasons, flowers bloomed as the product of April's horrific showers, and the temperature rose allowing for the change of wardrobe to more comfortable attire. To the boys of Degrassi though, May meant one thing.

The girls' gym teacher, Coach Kelly, decided to take the girls, loosely dressed in their uniform shorts and tank tops, outside for gym. It was almost an unspoken Degrassi tradition for the boys to sneak out of class to watch the girls in their gym classes run around killing each other on the field.

Eli had unintentionally done that today. Julia's words had been reiterating automatically in his mind over the last three days. True to her word, she hadn't uttered a single phrase in his direction. Eli knew it was his fault that their relationship was failing, but he couldn't figure out why. There was something heavy in Eli's heart but he couldn't distinguish what it was.

He has asked for a pass to the nurse during math class. Mr. Armstrong had been adamant at first, but let him go in the end. Instead of running to Ms. Michaels in the office though, Eli had ventured off on a walk around the school's grounds. He wasn't thinking, only letting his feet carry him wherever they chose to.

This is how he found himself hiding behind a tree and watching Clare's gym class play soccer. Eli found it fascinating how Clare could put so much focus into whatever she was doing, no matter how insignificant it might be.

He observed from behind the tree, keeping out of sight. He watched her expressions change and they mystified him. Her long, curly, reddish brown hair had been swept away from her face into a tight ponytail at the nape of her neck. Her usually pale white skin carried a pink undertone, a combination of the sun beating down on her and the heat that was no doubt emanating from her body. Her movements were calculated and executed carefully. Every move she made served a purpose.

He watched a terrified Alli standing in the goalie net, dodging the balls kicked by Clare's team instead of blocking them. He chuckled softly under his breath and gave his undivided attention back to Clare.

She seemed to sense that she was being watched though, because she turned to look in every direction as if she were looking for someone. Eli quickly hid behind the tree. When he was certain that Clare had stopped searching he leaned forward again, unintentionally.

Eli watched her the final few minutes of class and saw Clare make the winning goal. The smile that took over her face after she'd shoved that Sadie girl off of her was one he hadn't seen in months. He frowned at the fact that he couldn't remember the last time she'd given him that wonderful smile. Genuine happiness between them seemed non-existent. He missed it.

He missed Clare.

They talked, hung out, but they were always very cautious around each other. Clare didn't feel like talking about Julia and Eli bit back his comments about Declan. But he couldn't help but notice that every time it as just them, their smiles were just a little bit wider than when they were with their significant others. Eli took a smug satisfaction at knowing that he could make her smile bigger than her boyfriend could.

Eli was still confused as to why Julia wanted him "to get himself straight". The one good thing that came from their time apart was that he spent this free time with Clare.

If he could steal her away from her boyfriend, that is.

xXx

"No! Stop! Declan, I said slower!" Clare yelled in laughter.

Their group had taken to sitting outside at lunch. Drew was trying to cheer him up from his fight with Julia. However, Eli couldn't help but feel more and more down as he saw how happy Clare was.

Currently, Clare and Declan were sitting on opposite tables turned towards each other. They tried throwing and catching grapes and cherries with their mouths but all they had produces were empty stomachs and wasted fruit on the ground surrounding them. Declan had stopped playing long ago though. He was shooting Clare with the grapes and she struggled to shield herself, laughing the entire time.

Fiona looked on with a smile on her face. Eli had heard her and Adam talking once, "I've never seen Declan as happy as he is with Clare." The statement had made his stomach lurch in an uncomfortable manner. He turned his head towards Clare in time to see her retaliate by throwing fistfuls of cherries at Declan.

Clearly, both had forgotten about the stains that cherries leave. Clare burst out laughing when she saw the many tiny red splotches that decorated Declan's white and blue striped polo. He looked down at his shirt and back up at her with fake anger.

"Edwards, you're dead," Declan threatened jokingly and before Eli could process what was happening Clare was out of her seat and running away as fast as she could with Declan at her heels.

"They just ran away to go make out somewhere," Fiona wrinkled her nose. Adam laughed.

Eli stared silently into the distance, frowning at Fiona's assumption. Out of the corner of his eye, Eli could see that Alli was staring at him with a scrutinizing gaze.

"What?" Eli finally asked. He hated feeling like he was being analyzed.

Fiona and Adam stopped their laughing and looked at him. Drew tore his gaze away from the biology chapter he was trying to cram before his test and looked at him as well.

"Nothing," Alli replied nonchalantly and went back to eating her salad. He could feel her eyes on him every once in a while but when he turned to snap at her, Alli's eyes shifted to something else.

After a few minutes, Clare and Declan came back, panting and sweaty.

"You two look hot and bothered," Fiona pointed out suggestively, "care to explain yourselves?"

Clare blushed a deep red and Declan gave her a knowing smile.

"No, not at all," Declan answered. He slide into the only remaining empty spot next to Alli and patted his leg so Clare could sit.

"You're right; there is no need to explain. I've seen enough from walking in on you two at our house," Fiona joked, but Eli didn't know that she was joking.

Eli stood up abruptly from their table and walked away angrily.

xXx

Clare watched as Eli stormed off and suddenly felt very guilty.

"Nothing's happened Fiona, stop instigating things," Clare said.

Fiona raised an eyebrow at her and shrugged.

"He can think whatever he wants," Declan whispered in her ear, "we know nothing's happening."

"No, I don't want him to think that," Clare replied in a defensive tone. She leapt from his lap and took off after Eli. She could hear the voices of her friends calling her back to the table and ignored them.

Clare walked around the grassy area until she spotted Eli lying on top of one of the tables. She slid into the bench and stayed quiet.

"Are you sleeping with him?" Eli asked, without looking over to see if it was Clare. He just knew.

Clare was taken aback, "No! Eli, what the hell?"

"Well, Fiona makes it seem like-," Eli started.

"Fiona's exaggerating. I'm not sleeping with Declan," Clare lowered her gaze, "but you must think very little of me if you think I'd start having sex at 15."

Eli felt a guilty pang in his chest and sat up abruptly. He moved to sit next to Clare and lifted her chin so he could see her eyes.

"I could never think little of you," Eli whispered. Their lips were dangerously close. Clare looked straight into his green eyes and silently thanked that she was sitting because if not, surely she would have fainted from how weak she felt.

"Well, you're assuming things that aren't true," Clare huffed.

"Clare, trust me," Eli breathed, "nothing and no one is going to knock you off the pedestal I have you on."

Clare smiled that smile that he hadn't seen in months and Eli felt his heart burst at the seams. They were still close together, and anyone who didn't know any better would sense that they were intruding on an intimate moment between two love struck teenagers.

"What's going on here?" a voice asked.

They pulled away quickly and looked over to see Alli standing a few feet away with one hand on her hip and a stack of notes in the other's grasp.

"Nothing," Clare sighed sadly. Eli silently cursed Alli for interrupting them.

"Whatever," Alli gave them both a patronizing look, "Clare we have to hand in this lab to Mr. Betenkamp."

"Oh, yeah," Clare remembered and stood up quickly. Her sudden, nervous movement almost made her fall back but Eli quickly caught her. "Thanks," she stuttered.

"Always, Clare," he murmured. "Come to my house after school?"

Clare nodded and Alli cleared her throat to get their attention again.

"Let's go Clare," she huffed.

"Okay," Clare mumbled and took off alongside her friend.

Eli watched them walk away until they were out of sight.

xXx

Clare barely kept up with Alli's frantic pace. She had a cross expression on her face as they sped through the hallways of Degrassi.

"Alli wait," Clare grabbed her friend's arm and forced her to halt.

"What?" Alli snapped.

"What's wrong with you? You've been really tense around me these last few weeks. Did I do something wrong?" Clare asked sincerely.

Alli snorted, "It's what you continue to do Clare. I'm not mad. I'm just frustrated with you." She pulled Clare into the deserted art classroom.

"What do you mean?" Clare asked.

"I mean that even though you have a boyfriend, every time that Eli is around, you find him like a magnet!" Alli shouted in a hushed tone.

"I do not," Clare tried to defend herself.

"Yes, Clare, yes you do. There is no denying that. Time and time again you go back to Eli because you're still in love with him. What just happened outside? It looked like you two were about to kiss. You've shed so many tears over that kid and you still don't give it up," Alli scolded.

"I can't help what I feel Alli," Clare whispered.

Alli sighed and took Clare's hand in her own, "I know Clare, but he has a girlfriend, he loves her and you have a boyfriend. I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

Clare nodded and blinked away the misty feeling in her eye. She had to face the fact that Eli would never be hers.

xXx

Eli knocked on her door incessantly. He knew she was home and he had to talk to her now, before he met Clare at his house. He raised his hand to knock on the door again when it opened. When Julia saw that it was him she moved aside to let him in.

"No one's home," she whispered quietly and they made their way over to her living room.

"We have to talk," Eli said, sitting down. Julia sat down next to him and folded her hands on her lap.

"Oh great, I can guess how this is going to go. You're leaving me for your friendship with Clare," Julia let her head fall back and rolled her eyes.

"It's your fault Julia, you put me between a rock and a hard place," Eli countered.

"Because I thought you'd pick me, I was your girlfriend and you said you loved me," Julia's voice quivered and she started to cry. Eli put a hand on her knee but she slapped it away.

"Get out of my house," Julia spat angrily. "I don't want to see you again."

Eli sighed understandingly. Before he left he pressed a kiss to Julia's forehead. He walked home with a heavy heart, unhappy with what he'd just done.

But Julia was right in everything she said. Eli did love her, very much, but he couldn't bear the thought of living without Clare. He was losing her, to Declan, Adam, Drew, everyone. Every day she was a little closer to them than she was to him and Eli couldn't stand it. The thought of Clare telling someone else the secrets she would normally only tell him made Eli feel sick to his stomach. The jealousy he felt when Clare was with Declan was unimaginable. He felt bad for ending things with Julia, but he was more committed to getting Clare back.

Eli reached his home in record time and noticed Clare waiting for him on the front steps with a book in her lap.

"Hey," he said quietly, hoping not to startle her.

Clare looked up shyly at him and blocked the sun from her eyes. "Hi," she said happily.

"Let's go inside," he pulled the key from his left front pocket and opened the front door.

Clare walked in behind him and followed Eli up to his room. Once inside his room Eli turned unexpectedly and pulled Clare into a tight hug. She was surprised at first but returned it nonetheless. Alli's words rang in her ears as she held Eli close.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," Eli whispered.

Clare buried her face in Eli's chest as the words Alli had said faded into oblivion.

"I miss you too," Clare whispered and Eli felt chills run down his spine.

They pulled apart after a few minutes and everything after was rushed, sudden. The only one who knew what he was doing was Eli, because he'd planned it all out from the moment he'd picked Clare.

They gazed at each other intently for a few seconds before everything burst. Eli hooked his fingers through Clare's belt loops and pulled her close. He leaned down and heard Clare's breath catch in her throat as she realized what he was going to do. Eli pressed his lips against hers hesitantly and waited for her to respond. Half a second passed before she pressed back.

Eli took her hands in his. Without separating their lips he moved her hands so she could wrap them around his neck. His own found their way back to her hips and he rubbed his thumbs in soft circles on the skin that peeked out between the tops of her jeans and the hem of her shirt that had ridden up.

Eli walked back pulling her with him until the backs of his knees hit his bed. He fell back and pulled Clare along. The fall caused them to separate and they took the moment to glance each other. Eli marveled at the rosy tint Clare had acquired on her cheeks and the way she bit her lip nervously. Clare observed the way Eli's eyes appeared to have gotten darker and the anxious matter in which his Adam's apple moved when he swallowed.

He skimmed his hands up Clare's legs to her thighs and hoisted her up so she was straddling him properly. Clare squeaked when she felt him squeeze the back of her thighs. He leaned up and she met him halfway, their lips crushed together with twice the energy of before. There was no hesitation, everything was them and they temporarily forgot everything and everyone else.

All that could be heard in the room was lips smacking, teeth clicking, the occasional hum and pants for oxygen in those brief seconds that they would pull apart. Eli tentatively glided his hands up the back of her shirt, rubbing Clare's back gently and pushing her down to him. She responded by timidly sliding her fingers under the front his shirt. They skated slowly over his subtle abs and she smiled into their kiss when she felt his muscles twitch under her touch.

Eli bit back a moan, loving the way that Clare was caressing him. They kissed fiercely a few more minutes, until Clare pulled away suddenly.

"Wait, Eli," Clare panted, "what about Julia?"

Eli couldn't help but stare at her lips, which were now red and swollen. He looked up at her questioning eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"What about Declan?" He countered.

"I broke up with him after school," Clare said and Eli wanted to know the reason behind her nervous confession. Clare had "broken up" with Declan after school. Apparently, he had acquired eyes for Holly J in the last two weeks and she had laughed at how smitten he seemed to be with her. She decided to end their faux relationship and he had agreed to wait before even trying to ask out Holly J. Clare was happy for him.

"Yeah?" Eli asked, leaning forward again. Clare nodded and tried to keep her distance from Eli, waiting for his answer.

"Well, I," he said and he pressed his lips to hers once, chastely, "broke up with her." Between words he pressed kisses to her jaw, throat and collarbone before making his way back up to her lips. He silenced her for the moment, kissing her aggressively and Clare felt intoxicated. She wanted to keep kissing him, but she wanted to know what happened more.

Clare pulled away again and Eli groaned, "You two were together for six months. You told me you loved her."

Eli looked away sadly before readjusting his expression. He tilted her head up gently and began pressing kisses down her neck. His teeth nipped softly at her unblemished skin and his tongue slid over his bites tenderly. Clare turned into mush in his hands, letting out small whimpers at the feeling he was giving her.

"Answer me," Clare gasped after one particularly hard bite. Eli sucked on the wounded area, sure to leave a mark.

"We were almost at six months," Eli corrected and kissed Clare's shoulder.

"And you left her just like that?" Clare asked, trying not to be distracted by the way Eli was suckling at her neck.

"Just like that," Eli mumbled into her skin.

"But you were so sure. You had sex with her," Clare reminded him.

"Who cares Clare? You want to talk about this right now? I'm here, with you. What you wanted," Eli whispered and Clare shut up, smiling.

Eli smirked in reply and pulled Clare down again into another heated kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance and he sat up with Clare in his lap. Eli's hands were all over her, caressing softly and making Clare melt. There was one question that Clare had to ask though.

"Why us? Why now?" Clare asked, pulling away from Eli. Her hands were on his shoulders as she kept them balanced.

Eli looked thoughtful for a second, "Because I want it, does it matter?" He murmured into her neck. "I picked you. I'm here with you."

The warm feeling that Clare had been feeling inside started to fade. "You just decided to not love her anymore?"

"Yes," Eli replied, kissing her hand. "I decided that this was better."

"Better for who?" Clare asked.

"Everyone," Eli responded. "If we're together no one's fighting and everything can go back to how it once was."

Clare's eyes widened and she shoved Eli away from her completely. She could feel her heart start cracking in ways unimaginable. Was this some type of a game for him? Clare vs. Julia, who's better for me? Whose heart can I break? Did he have a list of pros and cons for each girl?

"Eli, no, please say you're kidding," Clare could feel bile rising in her throat. "You can't do this to me. It has to be for us, not for anyone else."

Clare started moving away, untangling herself from Eli. But he pulled her back and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"I'm not with her, I want to be with you," Eli murmured. "You were jealous of what I had with Julia right? You wanted that with me. We can have that now."

"But you love her!" Clare yelled and stood up from Eli's bed. She started fixing her clothes and muttering incomplete thoughts. "No…we can't…no…not when you still…oh my…I have to go."

Eli could feel Clare slipping away. His desperation got the better of him as Clare turned to leave the room.

"I love you!" He yelled.

Clare froze mid-step, and turned quickly like a reflex. She reacted without thinking, there was a medical term for it, a rage blackout. Clare smacked Eli across the face so hard that her hand throbbed.

She had never been so angry before, she could feel her heart beating faster than normal, could hear her own pulse in her ears and any form of communication got caught in her throat. She bit her lip and willed the tears to stay in, at least for a little bit longer.

"How could you say that?" Clare whimpered. "Do you know how long I wanted you to say that to me?"

"I thought that's what you wanted!" Eli yelled, holding his enflamed cheek.

"I wanted you to mean it! I waited, and would've waited longer for you! I just wanted you to mean it. But you threw it out there like garbage." Clare yelled.

The room was silent, only their rapid breathing made noise. Clare's shoulders slumped as her anger dissipated. Eli watched her, his own thoughts running a mile a minute. He felt sad and ashamed of himself.

All Clare could feel now was pain, worse than before. She felt cold and bereft, there was nothing left.

"Do you have any idea," Clare voice was filled with anguish, "how long and how much I wanted you to say those words to me? Coming from you those words meant everything. You made them so meaningless though. Yes, I wanted you to love me. Yes, I love you, even now, when all I want to do is hate you. But you can't want to give me something you feel for someone else Elijah."

Clare's voice broke and she ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the messed up curls.

"I have to go," Clare said simply. Eli lunged at her before she could leave though, grabbing her arm.

"No, Clare we have to-," Eli pleaded.

"Let me go," Clare whimpered and looked at Eli with the most heartbroken eyes he'd ever seen. They were the clearest of blue, and he wanted to wipe away the tears he'd caused.

He dropped her arm and fell back on his bed. He heard her walk down the stairs and out his front door, shutting it softly. Eli covered his face with his hands and his entire body shook with the realization of the magnitude of damage he had just caused.

xXx

Clare walked to the park and found a secluded bench. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her head fell against her legs and she finally let out all of the tears.

When she finally cried herself out, Clare continued to sit on the bench alone. She watched happy, innocent children run around the playground from afar; saw couples in love taking a stroll through the park, completely absorbed in each other.

She sat on the bench the entire warm afternoon and well into the cold night.

xXx

A flashlight shone over her and Clare shied away from the sudden source of light. She didn't know what time it was, nor did she really care.

"I found her!" Adam yelled. He walked towards her slowly, not sure of how she would react.

Clare sat on a bench, looking like a broken doll. The temperature had dropped significantly since the afternoon and she was shivering to keep warm.

"What happened?" Adam asked. Clare shook her head, she felt weak, hungry and tired, but she didn't want to move.

Two more lights shone on her and Clare flinched away from them. Drew and Alli were out of breath as they came to a stop in front of her. Alli fell to her knees in front of Clare and looked her in the eyes.

"You were right," Clare croaked, turning away.

"Oh Clare," Alli took one of Clare pale hands in her dark ones, "I didn't want to be."

"Right about what?" Drew asked.

Alli shook her head.

"C'mon Clare, we've got to get you home. Your dad is worried sick. He's at home waiting for you to come back. Declan and Fiona have been driving around the area trying to locate you," Adam explained softly.

Drew pulled out his phone and called Fiona, telling her where they were so they could come and pick them up.

"They're on their way now," Drew said.

Alli picked up Clare's book bag and slung it over her shoulder. Her hand brushed against Clare's arm.

"You're freezing Clare!" Alli exclaimed.

Adam shrugged off his coat and put it around Clare.

"Let's go," Drew commanded and scooped Clare up from the bench. He carried her all the way to Declan and Fiona's truck.

"I'm going to punch his face in," Declan threatened when he laid eyes on Clare.

Fiona's face was one of pity and sadness. Clare didn't have the strength to talk to anyone.

The drive to her house was silent. Drew and Adam each held one of her hands comfortingly.

xXx

"Oh thank God," Randall yelled when he saw Declan pull into the driveway. He ran down the porch steps and threw open the door. With all the strength he could muster he carried his daughter inside. Her group of friends followed behind.

Alli went to get Clare something to eat. Fiona and Declan stayed in the truck to take everyone back home.

"Where was she?" Randall asked Drew and Adam.

"Sitting on a park bench," Adam answered.

Clare shrugged off Adam's jacket and handed it back to him.

"I think she's in shock," Drew said and received a smack from Adam.

Randall crouched so he was at Clare's level. "Baby, what's wrong? It's almost midnight, you had me worried sick."

"Here," Alli interrupted. She set a hot bowl of chicken soup in front of Clare.

Clare shook her head, "I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat something. How long were you out there?" Adam asked.

Clare shook her head; she didn't want to answer any questions. She just wanted to go to sleep and forget this day ever happened.

Her friends looked at her with worry covering their faces.

"I'm going to bed," Clare muttered. She climbed the stairs to her room and shut the door without saying goodbye or goodnight to anyone. She watched her friends leave from her bedroom window. Her father thanked them profusely for helping find her.

Adam looked to her window and saw her watching. He waved his hand slowly and Clare nodded back once in reply. She closed her curtain and crawled into her unkempt bed.

Randall slowly opened the door to her room a few minutes later, in case she had fallen asleep.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Randall asked. He moved the stray hairs on Clare's face.

"Nothing dad," Clare replied.

"How can I help you if you won't tell me?"

"No one can help me," Clare replied and started crying for a completely different reason.

"What's the matter Clarebear?" He asked.

"I just…," Clare stuttered, "I wish m-mom…..was...h-h-here."

"You and I both," Randall replied. "Is that what's been bothering you lately?"

Clare nodded, lying, "I just wish I had someone to talk to about this."

"You can always talk to me," he said.

"Not about this dad," Clare replied.

"I wish your mom was here too. I imagine it'd be easier to tell her about whatever's going on. But Cece promised you could go to her for anything," Randall remembered.

Clare snorted, "Cece can't help me with this either. I'll be fine dad, don't worry."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Positive," Clare tried to smile.

Randall kissed Clare's forehead and walked out.

Clare laid awake all night, trying to forget the way Eli's lips felt on hers and the way his hands had touched her.

xXx

Eli showed up to school the next day with dark circles and bags under his eyes, not to mention a purple mark on his cheek. He searched for Adam and found him at his locker.

Adam looked at Eli and snorted, "What happened to you?"

"Clare slapped me," Eli replied.

"You must've deserved it if by the way we found her last night is anything to go by," Adam deadpanned.

"I fucked up Adam," Eli said, "I really, really fucked up."

Adam was good and ready to absolutely loathe Eli for whatever he did to Clare but when he noticed the look of absolute remorse on Eli's face, he felt an uncomfortable feeling go through him. "What the hell did you do?"

"Not here," Eli muttered, "I'll tell you. Just not here."

Adam nodded, feeling partly sorry for him.

They walked outside to the picnic tables and sat at the one farthest from the school that was partly hidden. They sat in silence for a few minutes and finally Eli spilled the entire story to Adam.

"Wow, that's just…you….yeah, you royally fucked up. You're messed Eli," Adam said.

"I know," Eli muttered.

"If she ever talks to you again you'll be the luckiest bastard alive," Adam told him truthfully.

"Have you seen her today?" Eli asked.

"Yeah, I was surprised actually since she was in pretty bad shape last night when we found her," Adam said.

"Found her?" Eli asked.

"She was missing. Her dad called us all asking if we knew where she was. We tried calling you but you didn't pick up. He was worried sick. We found her at the park around midnight, sitting on a bench alone. She'd been there all afternoon. I thought she was catatonic at first," Adam explained.

"But she's at school today?" Eli asked hopefully.

"Yeah, but she has Alli at her side all day since they have all the same classes. And Declan's ready to rip your head off," Adam warned, "I'd stay away if I were you."

"If we don't talk about this sooner rather than later, it's only going to get worse," Eli said.

"Your choice," Adam shrugged.

xXx

"Clare please eat something," Fiona begged and pushed the container full of fresh fruit towards her for the umpteenth time. Alli kept her eyes around the cafeteria like a hawk, waiting to spot that moron Eli so they could make a hasty escape with Clare.

"I'm not hungry," Clare replied, again.

"Clare Edwards, if you don't eat something, I swear I will force feed you," Declan threatened, showing up at their table and sliding in next to her.

"I'm not-," Clare started.

"I don't care," Declan cut her off, "eat."

Clare picked up the fork and started eating slowly. Her eyes were fixed on the table, and her empty hand twitched anxiously.

"He really did a number on you didn't he?" Declan asked. The table fell silent. Clare bit her lip almost hard enough to draw blood.

Fiona took her nervous hand in her own. "What happened between you two Clare? You broke up your fake relationship yesterday and then you went to see Eli. What did he tell you?" After Clare had broken up with Declan they agreed to tell Fiona about it, so she wouldn't harbor any hard feelings towards Clare. Fiona was miffed that she'd been left out of the plan in the first place. And knowing Fiona, she'd already told Alli as well.

Clare managed to tell them what had occurred and when she was done Declan had been ready to rearrange Eli's face.

"You're too good for him," Declan declared with an air of finality.

xXx

A week went by and Clare and Eli weren't speaking. Eli tried to reach Clare on the phone, during school and at her house but Clare didn't want to see him at all. Adam had told him on more than one occasion that Clare just wanted him to leave her alone for now but Eli couldn't. He was losing it.

Eli sat on his roof late in the evening. He was looking at the stars and remembering all the times he and Clare had come up there to stare into the night sky or watch the sun go down in the summer.

It was dark, and the clouds were ominous looking, like a good storm was brewing. Eli didn't care though. He was enjoying the way the wind was slapping his face like it was blowing his problems away.

Cece and Bullfrog were continuously asking why Clare hadn't come over. Cece really missed her and Bullfrog just wanted someone to tease Eli with. Cece asked what they were fighting about. When Eli didn't answer, Cece simply kissed his forehead and said that he'd better fix whatever he did because a friendship like his and Clare's was hard to come by twice in a lifetime.

Eli hoped he could fix it too.

"Elijah Goldsworthy, you better get off that roof and inside this house before Cece has a heart attack," Bullfrog shouted from his window.

Eli rolled his eyes but stood up nonetheless. Thunder started to rumble and Eli carefully made his way over to the edge. Rain began falling and Eli cursed under his breath. He swung down, and felt for the ledge of his window with his foot.

The jump wasn't high, and this was something he'd done hundreds of times before. But be it the rain or his state of mind at the moment, made Eli want to hastily get inside. He overestimated where he'd let his foot land and was too slow to grab onto the ledge.

Eli fell and landed on the grass below with a hard thud. He screamed in pain when he tried to move.

Cece and Bullfrog heard his scream and ran outside into the now full blown storm.

Cece screamed when she saw Eli lying on the ground.

"I think my leg's broken," Eli cried, clenching his eyes shut.

"Well, yeah, have you seen it?" Bullfrog joked, "Legs are not meant to bend that way."

"Bullfrog," Cece scolded. She pulled out her phone and called an ambulance. "I've told you so many times to stop climbing in and out of your window."

"I don't think now's the time to yell at me mom," Eli opened his clenched eyes and looked down at his left leg. It was bent inwards and back at a horrifying degree. He almost wanted to throw up at the sight. He felt a trickle of blood on his face and had scratches all over his hands.

Bullfrog covered Eli's leg with his jacket and they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

xXx

Clare didn't feel well enough to go to school the following day, so Randall let her stay home. He'd taken the day off of work and they'd spent the morning watching movies.

Around four in the afternoon a knock came to their door and both had looked at each other in confusion.

"It's probably Adam wondering why I wasn't in school," Clare stood up and went to open the door.

Clare flung it open and gaped at the woman who stood before her. She had short strawberry blonde hair and wide blue eyes. She looked like what her mom would look like now if she were still alive and it was freaking her out.

"Clare? Oh my god, you're all grown up," the woman exclaimed.

"Dad!" Clare yelled.

Randall ran over to the door and stared at the woman for a few seconds.

"Stacey?" He asked.

The woman nodded her head.

"Come in," he beckoned. The strange woman walked in and held a huge smile on her face. Clare was slightly creeped out by the woman but followed them into the living room.

"Clare this is your mom's sister, your Aunt Stacey. You probably don't remember her well since she moved with your cousins to California when you were little," Randall explained.

Clare nodded in acknowledgement and waited for her father to continue.

"She and have kept contact since your mom passed away and recently she made me a big proposition that involved you," Randall continued.

"Can I ask her?" Stacey cut him off. Randall gestured for her to continue.

Stacey hesitantly came to sit by Clare, who was gawking at her. She looked so much like her own mom and it was making Clare slightly uncomfortable.

"Clare, I know you don't really remember me or a lot of your mom's family since we all kind of drifted off when we got older. You're mom was the only one that stayed in Toronto when she grew up. Your mom and I were best friends," Stacey explained.

Clare nodded, starting to get a picture.

"I think it's important for you to get to know your mom's family. You were too little before to be making trips to see all of us but I wanted to offer you the chance to come stay with me and my family over the summer in California. Your three cousins, do you remember them? Olivia and Clementine are a little bit older than you but Charlotte is your age," Stacey blurted out nervously.

"Charlie?" Clare asked. She could kind of remember playing with a very blonde, angel looking girl when she was four or five.

"Yes Charlie! You do remember her! That's good. Well, what do you think? I'd be really happy to have you for the summer and your dad said you could go. He thinks it's good for you to know your mom's side too," Stacey asked again.

"You're not going with me?" Clare asked, turning to her father.

"I can't get that much time off work, but don't worry about it. I'd fly out for a week in July. I think this is a good opportunity," Randall explained.

"Really?" Clare asked.

"I'm sure," he replied.

"Well, what do you say? You don't have to answer right now. I know it's a rush. You can have some time to think about it," Stacey said hastily.

Clare stayed quiet. This year had been stressful; not only because of Eli but school had been very demanding as well. Call it running away or a much deserved vacation but Clare wanted to be anywhere that wasn't Toronto this summer.

"I don't need time. I want to go," Clare whispered.

Stacey's smile was wide and genuine. "Oh, that's wonderful," she exclaimed. "I've got to go but I'm in town a few more days before I fly back out with my kids. I'm staying with your grandma if you want to come by or we could meet somewhere if you want to talk to me more before you come out."

"Stacey she already said yes, stop trying to buy her," Randall joked.

"Oh hush Randall!" Stacey replied, "I'm so excited. You're the spitting image of your mom when she was your age."

"Really?" Clare asked.

"Yeah," Stacey assured, "and now I've got to get going before your grandma gives me a smacking. I swear to God, I'm thirty seven years old and the lady still bosses me around like a child."

Clare laughed into her palm.

Stacey went for the door when Clare stopped her, "Wait."

"Yes sugar?" Stacey asked.

"I know this is weird, but can I hug you?" Clare asked shyly.

"Oh baby, of course!" Stacey enveloped Clare in a tight hug and Clare swore she felt like she was seven and in her own mother's grasp.

They pulled away and Stacey said a quick goodbye before climbing into her rental car and speeding away. Clare watched her from the door and her dad came to put a hand on her shoulder lovingly.

"Stacey's quite the character, isn't she?" Randall asked.

"Yeah, I don't get how she and mom were best friends," Clare said honestly.

"They're total opposites. I knew your mom and her family since college. Your mom was very responsible and Stacey was a rebel without a cause. She's the one that set up your mom and I. It's a funny story, you should ask her about it when you're out there," he said.

"Are you really okay with this dad?" Clare asked, facing him. "I don't have to go if you don't want me to."

"Clare, I'm going to miss you more than words can describe but I really do think it's good for you to know your mom's family. Especially Stacey and her kids, she really was your mom's best friend. Your mom was devastated when Stacey moved out to Los Angeles after getting married and having Olivia," Randall told her. "She came to visit a lot when you were little you and Charlotte, or Charlie as you liked to call her, were inseparable. I think Eli might've even met her too, since you and him were already the best of friends by this time."

Clare's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Eli's name. "Yeah, dad, I'm really excited to go," she said in a much quieter tone.

xXx

Adam approached Clare the minute she stepped into school Monday morning.

"Enjoyed your three day weekend you slacker? Much needed break from reality," he quipped.

Clare gave him a smug look, "Yes, yes I did and yes, it was."

"You didn't miss anything Ms. I Don't Know How to Answer My Phone," he glared playfully.

"Break from reality, remember?" Clare reminded him, "Besides, I stayed at my grandma's over the weekend talking to my A-."

"Adam, I have to talk to you," Drew ran up to them, out of breath.

"Uh…okay," Adam raised an eyebrow, "See you later Clare."

Clare waved them off with a small smile and Drew pulled Adam away quickly. She soldiered on to her locker and braced herself for Eli. She was surprised when he hadn't tried to talk to her all weekend. Maybe Adam had finally gotten through to him and he was giving Clare the time she needed.

Clare frowned. She was leaving to a different country for three months at the end of the week. She wanted to say goodbye, but she also knew that he would call her out. He would know that she was running away, but Clare was tired. Tired of crying, tired of hoping, tired of everything; they needed a good, long separation period. Clare was sure that the time apart would help them and when she came back things could be good again.

Anyone would tell her that she was delusional but Clare wasn't going to back down. When she'd talked to her Aunt Stacey over the weekend, she'd wooed Clare into being actually excited for the trip with the promises of seeing the real ocean and going scuba diving. Their house was on the beach, they had a boat and everything. When Clare asked her Aunt what she did, Stacey answered that she owned a small franchise of bakeries in L.A. and San Diego. She'd had a brief internal freak out, her mother had loved baking.

Eli wasn't at his locker and she breathed a sigh of relief. She just wasn't ready yet. Her heart sank a little, but Clare ignored that feeling.

xXx

"I'm going to be left all alone!" Alli whined when Clare told her, Fiona and Declan later that day at lunch that she was leaving Saturday morning.

"I said you could come to New York for a week or two," Fiona amended.

Alli shot her a side glare, "Like my parents are really going to let me go to a foreign country by myself."

"The States are hardly a foreign country," Declan teased.

"You people suck as friends," Alli stuck her tongue out.

"What's with all the ruckus?" Adam asked, setting his tray down at their table. Drew slid in on Clare's other side and stole a handful of her fries. Clare slapped his hand away and he grinned mischievously.

"Everyone's leaving!" Alli whined again and Fiona lightly smacked her arm.

Drew raised an eyebrow in question.

Alli sighed, "Fiona and Declan are going back to New York for the summer."

"That's hardly everyone, they're not even that important," Adam taunted, looking at Fiona. She glared in response with a smile on her face.

"You're going to miss me Torres," Fiona teased back, making Adam turn cherry red.

"And Clare's leaving to California on Saturday!" Alli continued as if she hadn't been interrupted.

"What?" Drew asked, choking on his pizza. Both Torres boys turned to her at the same time.

"I tried to tell you this morning, but Drew interrupted," Clare explained. "My mom's sister, my Aunt Stacey, invited me to live with her over the summer. She lives in Los Angeles with her three daughters. I said yes."

Adam looked sad, and Drew shrugged his shoulders

"Well, that's cool, getting to know your mom's family," Adam said after a few seconds of silence. Clare let out a sigh of relief; she had been hoping that they'd take it well.

Clare nodded once and swallowed the lump in her throat.

xXx

"Ouch," Eli groaned, trying to adjust himself on his bed. His leg moved harshly and Eli gasped at the shot of pain that ran up his leg.

He'd spent most of the weekend in the hospital, getting x-rays and minor surgery on his leg. It was broken in seven places and he'd needed the small surgery to make sure it would heal correctly. He was released this morning and was now trying to get comfortable on his bed without jostling his leg too much.

"I finally got around to calling Drew and Adam this morning," Cece recalled as she placed a tray of food on the small table that had been placed by Eli's bed. "Drew said they'd come over as soon as school was done."

"Okay," Eli made a disgusted face at the hideous white cast covering his leg.

Cece cleared her throat.

"What?" Eli asked, still shuffling around trying to get into a good position.

Cece sighed and walked over to fluff his pillows. "I can call Clare too, if you want."

"No," Eli blurted out instantly, "I mean…I'll call her."

His mother's eyes narrowed in a knowing matter and she moved to sit by his side on the bed. "Liar. Now are you going to tell me what happened between you and Clare?"

"Nothing," Eli said defensively but couldn't meet Cece's eyes. If he did, the look she'd give him would make him spill everything to her.

"Well, I know you're lying to me but I'm not going to force it out of you," Cece said, defeated. She got up and moved Eli's hair away from his forehead and planted a kiss on it. "I just really hope that you two can fix whatever needs to be fixed," she said as she was walking out of the room.

Bullfrog poked his head in and jokingly added to Cece's comment, "Me too, you look like an absolute mess without her."

"Just like you without me," Cece retorted, pinching her husband's cheeks. They laughed and walked away. Eli smiled at their show of affection and wondered briefly what it'd be like to have that with someone.

Eli slept through the morning, lying stiff in his bed, afraid to move and cause pain in his leg. He was dreaming of a particular curly haired girl when someone poked his cheek over and over again.

His eyes fluttered open and he saw Drew and Adam hovering over him.

"Wake up sunshine," Drew said in falsetto.

"You looked so cute when you were sleeping!" Adam mocked.

"Hey guys," Eli said, readjusting his pillows so he could sit up.

Drew poked at his cast, "Damn dude, you messed yourself up good."

"Thanks," Eli replied sarcastically.

"How long are you stuck in here for?" Adam asked, going to sit in Eli's computer chair.

"Almost a month, the breaks were mostly clean, but they'll take forever to heal," Eli replied. "Then I'll probably be on crutches for another two or three weeks, and I can't put too much pressure on it for a few months."

"Damn, that sucks. So your summer is pretty much limited to home and sitting somewhere," Drew made a face.

"How the hell did you fall?" Adam asked.

"Didn't hook my leg right in the window when I was climbing back in, then I wasn't quick enough to grab the ledge," Eli clarified.

"How many times has Cece told us to stop going up there?" Drew chuckled.

They stayed the afternoon keeping Eli company. Drew found a box of markers and turned Eli's cast into a canvas. There was a dinosaur poised so that it looked like it was eating Eli's foot. He'd also drawn what were supposed to be broken bones representing his own.

As they were leaving Adam told Eli that he was going to tell Clare the next day, Eli had sighed but nodded along. Clare would've found out eventually anyway.

xXx

"Hey girl-dude, we have to tell you something," Drew caught Clare's arm as she walked with Alli towards lunch.

"Uh…okay," Clare told Alli she'd see her later and walked with Adam and Drew to the J.T. Memorial. They sat down at the small bench across from the small monument and Clare waited expectantly.

The boys looked at each other, contemplating on how to begin. Drew cleared his throat and sighed. "Eli fell off his roof," he said bluntly.

"What?" Clare screeched, jumping up. Her eyes widened and she looked ready to pass out any second.

Adam smacked Drew, "You moron."

"You always say that 'it's better to rip the bandage off'," Drew said defensively.

Adam stood up and put his hands on Clare's shoulders to calm her down. In a few seconds time, she'd managed to work herself into hysterics.

"What he meant to say was that yeah, Eli slipped from his roof on Friday when it was raining. He was trying to get back into his room and obviously didn't do it right because he plummeted to the ground and busted his left leg in seven places," Adam explained.

Clare's eyes didn't widen any less and Adam sighed, "Seriously Clare, he's okay. We went to see him yesterday and he's got a few minor scratches all over. The leg was the only serious injury."

She took a few deep breaths and calmed down. "Err…thanks, I'll visit him before I leave," she promised.

Adam smiled awkwardly in response.

xXx

Friday rolled around quicker than Clare had expected. School was officially out and she was leaving for the States tomorrow morning. She had a few more things left to pack before tomorrow but right now she was going to see the dark haired boy that meant so much to her.

Clare knocked on the door softly and Cece opened it slowly.

"Clare!" Cece pulled her into a hug, which Clare responded to. "I'm happy you came sweetheart!"

"Yeah, me too…sorry I've been absent lately," she stuttered.

"Forget about it, only thing that is important now is that you're here," Cece smiled.

"Yeah, Eli resembles a sad sack of potatoes right now," Bullfrog laughed.

"Go on baby," Cece ushered her up the stairs.

Clare knocked on his door slowly and half of her wanted to turn back and run back home.

"Come in," Eli said from the other side.

Clare turned the knob and pushed the door in. Eli was lying on his bed reading a comic book and didn't look up from it when she came in.

"Hey Ada-," Eli looked up from his comic book and went quiet at the sight of Clare.

"Hi," Clare mumbled awkwardly. She stepped forward slowly, "How are you feeling?"

Eli coughed and set the comic book down at his side. "Only hurts when I move, it's mostly numb because of the meds."

Clare made an 'o' shape with her mouth and rubbed her right arm with her left hand. "Adam told me what happened. Why weren't you more careful?"

Eli snorted, "You sound like Cece, I'm hurt and you still manage to scold me." He smiled at Clare so she'd know he wasn't being serious.

She matched him with a small smile of her own and went to sit down by his side. He tried to take one of her hands but Clare pulled them away swiftly.

"Sorry," Eli frowned.

"It's okay…just…," Clare swallowed audibly, "I have something to tell you."

She moved all of her hair to one side and picked at her nails. "One of my mom's sisters, Stacey, showed up. She…uh…thought it'd be a good idea for me to reconnect with my mom's family."

Eli's looked up at her with a surprised expression, "That's cool."

"Y-yeah, she…um…invited me to s-st-stay with her…uh…family," Clare mumbled.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Where? In like Wasaga Beach or something?"

"No. She…she moved to Los Angeles a long time ago," Clare clarified with a soft tone.

"Oh…so how long are you going for? A week or two?" Eli asked.

"I leave tomorrow morning…and I…uh…I won't be back until school starts up again," Clare murmured under her breath.

Eli's eyes widened, "You're…uh…you're going the whole summer?"

"Yeah, my dad said I could so…I am," Clare stated.

"Wow," Eli said coldly.

"What?" Clare looked up. His facial expression conveyed sadness mixed with subtle anger.

"You. You're running," Eli remarked.

Clare knew this was coming, "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Eli retorted, "you're running away from me…from our problems."

"I think that we need space, we need a break from each other," Clare said.

"Well, I don't," Eli sighed, "but there's nothing I can do to convince you to stay here right?"

Clare shook her head.

"I'm going to miss you," Eli said.

"I'm going to miss you too," Clare replied. "I have to go…finish packing and stuff. I just needed to tell you. So you wouldn't think I was ignoring you…or that I left in vain."

Eli nodded and Clare stood up. Slowly, she bent down and pressed her lips to Eli's cheek softly. "Goodbye Eli."

Clare walked out, closing the door softly behind her.

In that small peck, Eli felt everything.

"Goodbye Clare."

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Review please.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

[Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi or Katy Perry]

I know I promised this update three weeks ago but I had a really hard time writing this. I have a few different versions of parts of this chapter that I was not happy with. It took me a long time but I was not going to give you a product that I myself wouldn't read and didn't like. So better late than never! Besides, the length of this chapter might make up for my absence. Thank you all for your patience and kind reviews as always. Thanks to my beta WhatEverHappened.

I posted a new oneshot called Do You Want to Fly with Me? a few days ago. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Review, Review, Review!

* * *

><p>Clare let herself fall like a pancake onto her bed. The sweet lavender smell of the duvet made her smile and relaxed her even if it was only a little bit. After a few minutes she flipped on her back and looked out the huge bay window of her room that overlooked the ocean. The sun had gone down just a half our ago and the moonlight cast a glow into her room.<p>

She'd been in California for two weeks now. The few days her cousins and aunt let her get used to the three hour time difference from Toronto to Los Angeles and gave her the chance to get rid of the jet lag. Charlie, Clementine and Olivia had welcomed her with open arms and in the very short period of time that had passed, had already made her feel like their fourth sister. She talked with her dad every two nights, and he had joked at first about how high her cell phone bill was going to be at the end of every summer month.

She and Charlie were inseparable from the minute she stepped into their Venice Beach oceanside home. It was as if the nine years they'd been apart hadn't existed. Clementine was quiet, but full of wisdom at her young seventeen years. Because she, Charlie and Clare were close in age, Clementine and Charlie's friends intermingled and all hung out together. Olivia, nineteen, was the only odd ball out, she was taking courses at the local college for the summer but made the extra effort to be with them even if they were a little young for her age.

After Clare was used to the time difference, her cousins had dragged her to every theme park and cheesy tourist attraction there was within a one hundred mile radius. The first and second weeks of Clare's stay were spent at Disneyworld, California Adventure, Magic Mountain, Universal Studios, the Walk of Fame, the Hollywood Sign, Knott's Berry Farm, and Star Tours. The four girls were worn out by the end of the day and in that short period of time Clare had blown through a third of the money her father had given her for the entire trip.

She was gazing out the window at the setting sun when Charlie barged into her room. She jumped onto Clare's bed and poked her repeatedly. Between theme park visits they'd hung out with Charlie's friends and everyone commented on how they looked like fraternal twins. The girls laughed and remembered when they'd pretend to be twins when they were little, going as far as trying to deceive their parents.

Clare stared at her cousin; they had the same hair color only that Charlie's was straight and the same huge blue eyes, obviously from their mothers' side. The differences between them were that Charlie was perpetually tanned from being in the sun all day every day and Clare was half an inch taller.

And well, their styles differed completely, but that was beside the point.

"Let's go out," Charlie said, continuing to poke Clare.

Clare groaned, throwing her arm over her eyes, "I'm tired."

"Get up you bum, we're just going to the beach," Charlie explained, "some of my friends will be there."

"Okay," Clare said excitedly, sitting up. She never said no to going down to the beach, which was only yards away from their house.

They ran down through the house and down the deck's stairs into the sand.

Some of Charlie's friends greeted them. There were a few new people that Clare didn't know. Katie, one of Charlie's best friends, had really taken to Clare in the few days she'd known her. She hugged Clare as if she'd known her for years.

"C'mon, we're going to have a volleyball match, girls against boys," Katie explained, pulling Clare by her hand to the girls' side of the net.

"In the dark?" Clare asked.

"We have the moonlight silly," Katie stated as if Clare should have known.

"We have our team," Katie announced.

"Isn't Charlie going to play?" Clare asked.

"Ew," Charlie walked by dragging a chair from her deck, "I hate sports."

"Losers, I mean ladies, do you have your team?" a boy asked cockily from the other side of the net.

Katie stomped her foot. "Wait a minute," she raised her hand to wave him off.

Clare caught a glimpse of the boy who'd just insulted them. She couldn't really distinguish any of his features, but he was a good few inches taller than her.

"Okay Clare, this is Manny," Katie pointed to one girl who smiled kindly at Clare. "And they are Sofia, Darcy, and Blair. Girls, this is Clare, she's Charlie's cousin who is here for the summer." The girls greeted her and the boys groaned from the other side of the net.

"Girl talk later," the cocky boy from before said, "we want to beat you already."

Katie rolled her eyes, "That's Jake, Nate, Fitz, Marco, Vince, and Beck. There Jake, now we can play."

Jake smirked, "We'll be playing, and you'll be losing."

Clare raised her eyebrow, and got into the position Katie gave her.

Jake served and Clare's return, which the boys missed, made them gasp collectively.

It was Clare's turn to smirk. Jake caught her eye and he looked at her wearily. The rest of the game went by viciously, the boys got ahead quickly and the girls struggled to catch up. But with Clare on their side, they managed to eventually tie them.

"Game point," Charlie shouted from her chair where she was keeping score.

Clare wiped them sweat from her forehead. It was the boys' turn to serve. Marco served weakly and Manny returned it easily. Fitz slapped it hard and the ball came flying at the girls.

"Katie!" Darcy shrieked. Katie dove into the sand and it flew back up. Clare jumped and spiked it over. None of the boys reacted quickly enough and the ball hit the sand with a hard smack.

"Girls win!" Charlie shouted from her seat.

The girls ran to hug Clare and the boys looked awestruck. The teams dispersed and everyone started to just talk and hang around, getting drinks from the cooler that had been brought down.

Clare walked down the shore and stood on the cool wet sand, enjoying the way the ocean tide washed up just high enough to wet her toes. A cough came from behind Clare and she turned around quickly to see who it was. Jake walked towards Clare with a smug smile decorating his face.

"You should've warned me you knew how to play," he said, "I wouldn't have been so easy on you."

Clare laughed once, "Sure, whatever."

"How long have you played?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"Just this year on my school's team," Clare answered.

"You're good," Jake said honestly, "a worthy opponent."

"Hmm…should I feel special?" Clare asked sarcastically.

Jake smiled, "You should."

"Maybe, I'll go easy on you next time," Clare told him, walking back to the rest of the group.

"Please don't," Jake said, running to catch up with her.

Clementine ran outside just as Jake and Clare rejoined the group.

"Clare, your phone is ringing!" She shouted.

Clare left the group to answer her phone.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Clare!" Adam shouted happily into the phone.

"Adam!" she squealed into the phone.

"You haven't called! Did you forget about us already?" Adam joked.

"Of course not," Clare sighed, laying on the couch in the living room. "I've just been out almost every day since I got here."

"Busy bee, that's good," Adam remarked, "How is it?"

Clare looked out the kitchen's far glass wall that overlooked the ocean. "Magnificent," she whispered.

"Damn, that good huh?" Adam laughed.

"Really, really good," Clare said.

She could hear Drew in the background, whisper-chanting "tell her I miss her" loudly.

"Is that Drew?" Clare asked.

"Yeah, he misses you. If you couldn't hear his obnoxious chanting," Adam retorted, "He also says that he is expecting presents, plural, as in more than one gift."

Clare laughed, "How are things over there? And I really miss you goons too."

"Fine. We're not having as good a time as you Ms. I-Live-On-the-Beach-Right-Now but we're having fun," Adam mocked.

Clare stayed quiet on the line for a few moments before whispering, "How is he?" She was referring to Eli.

"Eli…Eli is fine. Don't worry about him," Adam assured her, but Clare could hear the trepidation is his voice.

xXx

Elijah Goldsworthy was most certainly not fine. In fact, some might say that he was downright miserable. Adam was a dirty liar.

Eli was still stuck on bed rest for two more weeks and then he'd have to get used to the crutches. But at least then he could leave the house.

He was going mental, to be perfectly honest. There were only so many shows he liked on TV and after that, he was stuck watching a Gossip Girl marathon. Don't get him started on Chuck and Blair….or Serena and Dan for that matter. But at least now he had some kind of topic for conversation with Alli.

Adam and Drew had all but moved into Eli's house until he was off bed rest. Since both Clare and Fiona had gone for the summer, Alli was alone and out of guilt Adam invited her to hang out with them. She glared at Eli the first few days over what happened with Clare but now she was civil, even wishing him well-being with his leg.

Eli felt that it was a good start.

Julia had come to visit him one afternoon. The weather had been gloomy and sad; he'd spent the whole morning dreaming of Clare only to have his entire day sufficiently ruined with her visit. Eli was still sorry, and she was still pissed. Julia explained that she was only there because she'd heard of his accident. Then, with an air of finality, she told him he deserved it for breaking her heart, as well as Clare's. She gave him a good slap on the same cheek Clare did and stomped out of his room and out of his life, telling him that she wanted nothing to do with him next year or ever again.

That was perfectly fine with Eli.

He fell back against his bed with a groan. He loathed being stuck inside his house like a criminal. He was counting down the days until he could drag himself around on crutches. He just wanted to be able to leave.

Eli wanted to know how Clare was, wanted to hear her voice and know what she was doing. He wondered if she missed him half as much as he missed her.

Suddenly, Drew and Adam barged into his room without knocking. Alli was on their heels carrying something in her hands.

"We let Alli pick the movie," Drew said, "she won't tell us what it is but here's to hoping it's not Twilight."

Eli groaned.

"It's not," Alli glared. "I'm making you all take a good dose of sensitivity training."

She pulled The Notebook out of her gigantic purse filled with God only knew what else. The boys stared at the cover and groaned simultaneously.

"Oh hush," Alli said, loving this a little too much.

"What's in there?" Eli asked, pointing to the cloth covered thing she'd set on his desk.

"Oh," Alli said, remembering. "Since I'm making you watch this movie I made you guys brownies as compensation."

Drew jumped up from his seat to grab one, "You're my new favorite…..don't tell Clare."

He reached into the tray but Alli slapped his hand away.

"What?" Drew asked incredulously.

"For after the movie," she said mischievously.

"You're pure evil," Adam eyed the tray longingly.

Drew crossed his arms like a spoiled child, "You're no longer my favorite."

Alli only laughed at them.

She put the movie in and made Eli make room for her on his bed. "Come on, your leg's not that broken anymore and I refuse to sit on the floor!"

Eli rolled his eyes but made room anyway. There was no point in arguing with Alli.

The movie started and throughout it Drew cried that the brownies were calling to him.

Alli only smiled wickedly every time.

Eli agreed with Adam, she was the most evil of girls.

xXx

Clare trudged down the stairs tiredly. Charlie was seated at the breakfast table with a plate of food in front of her.

"Oh good, you're up," Charlie greeted happily.

"Good morning," Clare served herself and joined her cousin at the table. "Where's everyone?"

"Olivia went to class early to finish an assignment, Clementine is still asleep and my mom is probably at one of the bakeries by now," Charlie informed her.

"Okay, so what are we doing today?" Clare asked excitedly.

"I'm going to teach you how to surf," Charlie said simply, a mischievous glint in her blue eyes.

Clare swallowed uneasily, "How hurt am I going to get in the process?"

"Very hurt," Charlie teased, "lots of falling. I called in for reinforcements."

"Reinforcements?" Clare asked, taking a sip of her orange juice.

"I'm a good surfer, but not great, I asked my friend to come help. He's amazing. He's been in a few small competitions," Charlie boasted.

"Cool," Clare said finishing up her breakfast.

The girls finished eating and went to change. Charlie emerged from her room in a black and purple bikini while Clare opted for a pair of short shorts and a bikini top.

"C'mon, we have to get our surfboards," Charlie said and walked towards the garage. "You can have Clementine's. Mom bought us all surfboards when we moved to this house but she was too scared to learn."

Clare stared at the gigantic, oval piece of think wood. It was intimidating in the most exciting way.

"Let's go," Charlie said, grabbing a bucket filled with what looked like large bars of soap.

Clare grabbed the surfboard, surprised by its lightness and followed her cousin through the house out to the deck.

"So who did you call in for back up?" Clare asked, noticing that there was no one on the beach. There was some clothing thrown carelessly on the sand a few yards away from the waters' edge.

"He's probably in the water already," Charlie shrugged. They walked onto the hot sand and ran all the way to the shoreline to cool their feet. They dropped their surfboards on the sand and looked for their guest.

"Is that him?" Clare squinted at a figure peeking out from the opening of a wave. She wasn't wearing her glasses, making it difficult to see.

"Yeah, Jake's always showing off," Charlie laughed.

"Jake? The obnoxious guy from the volleyball game?" Clare groaned.

"He's obnoxious and arrogant all right but he's also really sweet when you take him out of competitive mode," Charlie explained.

Out of the corner of their eyes they could see and hear someone wading in the shallow water. Jake was making his way over to them.

"Hey," he greeted, slightly out of breath. Clare tried not to stare at his toned body by staring at her surfboard and hoping the deep blush she probably had would recede quickly.

"Hi Jake," Charlie greeted easily, "let me formally introduce you to Clare. My cousin, imported to us all the way from Toronto."

Jake met Clare's gaze and smirked. "With a wicked serve to boot," he stuck out his hand and Clare shook it, hoping her hand wasn't trembling.

"And this is Jake, arrogant, obnoxious, but once you open him up he's a plush teddy bear inside," Charlie mused teasingly from the ground.

"You forgot good looking," Jake pretended to look offended.

"And modest," Clare piped in and Jake turned to her and winked.

"So surfing," Charlie clapped excitedly. "You're teaching Clare how to do it."

"I thought you both were," Clare said quickly.

Charlie snorted, "I couldn't teach you what to do to save my life…and yours. I can't explain, I just do!"

She laughed and ran towards the water, surfboard tucked under one arm.

"Afraid of me Clare?" Jake asked teasingly.

Clare rolled her eyes, "Of course not."

"Good," Jake picked up one of those bars that looked like soap and tossed it at her. Clare caught it with one hand.

"Fast reflexes," Jake noted, "that's good to know and it might help you with this."

"What do I need a bar of soap for?" Clare asked.

"It's not soap Canada," he joked, "it's wax for your surfboard. We wax them so we can sit, lay or stand on them and we won't fall off. The wood of your board gets really slippery in the water."

"Canada?" Clare asked, "Really?"

"I like it," Jake teased.

Clare rolled her eyes and started waxing the board. Jake dropped to his knees next to her and put his hand over hers. "Not like that," he whispered, "first make big Xs on the board then big circles then go up and down parallel. There has to be a thick layer because the water wears wax away quickly."

Clare nodded and finished waxing her board. She and Jake went into the water, and he was helping her learn to balance on the board.

"Ouch," Clare said as she raised herself up from water for the umpteenth time. Balancing on the board was not as easy as Jake made it look. She'd fallen into the water multiple times.

"You're thinking about it too hard," Jake said, straddling his board. She tried to ignore the way little droplets of water trickled down his face and body. "Are you distracted by something?" he asked knowingly.

"No," Clare said curtly, blushing a deep pink.

"Then let's go, do it again," Jake teased. Clare huffed agitatedly in reply. "We're going to sit here all morning and afternoon until you get it right. Might as well do it over and over again until you get it right, or else all your going to get is sunburn."

Clare felt like pushing over his board. Instead, she lay on the board with her arms on the rails. She started pushing herself up and brought her legs forward quickly, left leg in front. She moved to straightened up slowly and after a few seconds found herself underwater again.

She swam up to the surface and found Jake looking down at her with a smug smile on his face. "Stop locking your knees, you can't stand straight up on a board," he reminded her.

"Right," Clare replied. She tried again, remembering this time to not lock her knees. She was finally on her feet and let her mind go blank, trying not to over think every movement she made. She opened her eyes and smirked in Jake's direction. "I did it."

Jake stuck an arm out to her board and Clare knew what he was going to do at once. "No Ja-," but the next second she was underwater again.

She popped up and swam to Jake's board. "What did you do that for?"

"You were so used to falling, I figured once more couldn't hurt," he joked.

Clare sunk back into the water and used all her strength to topple Jake over as well. He landed in the water with a splash and she couldn't stop laughing.

Jake glared at her before unleashing his wrath. He splashed water at Clare, who was laughing too hard to defend herself properly. She started splashing him back, getting closer little by little. After a few minutes of fighting, Jake unexpectedly grabbed her wrists, a last attempt to defend himself.

Everything still around them at once and a gasp got caught in Clare's throat as she noticed their proximity. She looked up at his light green and brown eyes which found her blue ones. They locked for a few moments before Clare pulled her wrists away. Jake put his arms up in surrender, smiling smugly at her throughout the entire exchange.

Clare pulled herself up onto her board, "What's next?"

Jake climbed on top of his board and they spent the rest of the afternoon on the water. By the time the sun started to set, Clare had almost mastered surfing. But only after falling at least one hundred more times.

They swam back to shore and Clare loved the sore feeling in her muscles. She dropped to lie back on the sand, not caring about how it would all stick to her wet skin. Jake opted to sit on his surfboard to avoid getting a coat of sand on himself.

"How did it go?" Charlie asked, walking in their direction.

"Great," Jake replied.

Clare had her eyes shut. She was enjoying the last rays of the sun warming her skin. "Where did you go?" She asked Charlie.

"I was just down the shore from you guys, there were some great waves down there," she said enthusiastically. "Katie rode this huge monster of a wave."

"Sorry you had to miss out Jake," Clare said with a small smile on her face.

"I was entertained just fine Canada, watching you fall was hilarious," he joked.

Clare stuck out her tongue. "I'll be better than you by the end of the summer," she said nonchalantly.

Charlie retreated to her house, tired from the long day, leaving her cousin and her best friend to keep up their flirting.

Clare felt the sunset being blocked by a shadow. She opened her eyes to see Jake holding himself above her with a smirk.

"You're on Canada."

xXx

Eli was ecstatic. He'd gone for more x-rays and was cleared a week early. He was handed a pair of crutches and spent three days doing physical therapy at the hospital, just to make sure everything was really fine.

After almost a month of what felt like solitary confinement, Eli just wanted to get out. The day after his physical therapy ended Adam called to invite him to watch one of Drew's summer season soccer games. Eli accepted without a second thought and waited for his friends to come pick him up.

A few minutes later Drew honked obnoxiously, as he usually did when picking anyone up. Eli limped out of his house on the new crutches.

"He lives!" Drew shouted from the driver's seat. Eli rolled his eyes in reply.

Alli was smiling in the front seat and Adam was situated in the back. Eli slid in next to him and put his crutches on the floor.

"Why are you back here?" Eli asked.

Adam snorted, "We picked up Alli and she forced me to move."

Alli turned around to face them, "I hate sitting in the back. The front people open their windows and the wind blows my hair everywhere."

"We wouldn't want Princess Alli to have a single hair out of place and cause a scandal," Eli teased.

"Watch it gimp," Alli retorted with one of her trademark evil smiles, "I won't hesitate to throw your crutch out the window."

Eli put his hand to his heart dramatically, "We outnumber you."

"I'll buy Drew a box of cookies and he'll be on my side," Alli laughed.

Drew nodded from the front seat, "She's right. I'm easily bought."

Alli smirked and Adam hit his head with the palm of his seat from the back seat. "How are you my brother? Don't worry Eli; I'm still on your side."

They arrived at the park a few minutes later. Drew quickly left to join his team on the field. Adam, Eli, and Alli went to sit on the bleachers. Alli pulled out a magazine from her purse and immersed herself in the glossy, shallow pages of gossip and fashion.

"Have you talked to Clare?" Eli asked carefully. He hadn't worked up enough guts to give her a call and obviously, she hadn't either. It had been three grueling weeks without hearing her light voice.

Adam fixed the beanie on his head and pursed his lips. "Yeah, a few days ago actually," he said.

"And?" Eli asked.

"She said she was having a lot of fun. She went to visit all the tourist clichés first and now she's just going to spend time with her family," Adam explained.

"But…how did she sound to you?" Eli asked.

Adam turned to him and gave him a sad smile. "Clare sounds really, really happy," he answered honestly.

Eli ran his hand through his thick, black hair. "That's good then. That's what's important."

"Have you talked to her?" Adam asked.

Eli shook his head, staring out onto the field.

The game started a few minutes later but Eli paid no attention to it. His mind was somewhere else entirely. He wondered what Clare was doing at this exact moment. The only time he paid attention to the game was when Adam hit him as a signal that Drew's team had made a goal and he should get up and cheer.

"Hey," Alli piped up, "Is that Mr. Edwards?"

The boys turned to her with confused expressions. She was pointing at something across the park. They looked towards where she was pointing. Sure enough, it was Mr. Edwards. He was walking with a pretty, blonde woman.

"Dude, do you think he's on like a date?" Adam asked.

Alli shrugged, "Sure looks like it."

"Has he dated anyone since Clare's mom?" Adam asked.

Eli shook his head. "I don't think he wanted to…when Clare was so little."

Adam and Alli nodded. The boys went back to watching the game and Alli went back to her magazine.

An hour later the game was done. Drew's team won and they decided to go out for pizza to celebrate.

Drew dropped them off afterwards and Adam told him discreetly once again that he should call Clare. Eli hobbled up to his room and played with his phone for a few minutes before finally going to his phone's contact list and looking for her name.

Eli pressed the green button once he highlighted her name and lifted his phone to his ear.

xXx

Clare was surprised to learn that Jake was a constant presence in the house.

"I'm here every day, this is practically my second home," Jake explained when they were having lunch in the kitchen a few days after he taught her to surf.

Olivia walked by just then, camera in hand, about to leave for her photography class. "Yeah, Charlie let him in, fed him once and he just kept coming back," she stuck out her tongue at him and ruffled his hair as she walked by. "Bye guys, I'm going to my class."

Stacey came bursting through the front door like she was running away from fire.

"Mom, is everything okay?" Charlie asked quickly.

"No, my staff at the boardwalk bakery here in Venice Beach all got sick. I need you three to go in and just finish the day for me. If I had known earlier that my staff was sick, I wouldn't have opened shop but Molly showed up sick and opened anyway. I told her she could go home the second you three showed up," Stacey explained quickly.

"Sure mom, we'll go," Clementine answered for all of them quickly. She grabbed her keys from the tiny rack and the four of them walked towards the garage.

Stacey called out after them, "Call Katie, see if she can come help too. Olivia will be at the bakery right after her photography class. Don't burn down my store. I have to go the Rodeo Drive franchise but I'll be with you guys as quick as I can."

Soon enough they were in Clementine's car and on their way to pick up Katie, who was quick to say yes when they asked her for help.

Katie jumped in the backseat of Clementine's small car. Jake, Clare and her were pretty cramped and the only way to alleviate the problem was for Jake to move his arm. It looked like he was trying to put his arm around Clare. Jake thought nothing of it but when he turned around to look out the window, Katie wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at Clare.

Charlie laughed from the front seat and Clare glowered at them both. Even Clementine was fighting a small smirk from appearing on her face.

"What's so funny?" Jake asked, completely oblivious to the situation.

"Nothing," Charlie answered quickly, through another fit of giggles. Katie was covering her mouth with her hand to stop her own laughter.

Jake looked unimpressed and rolled his eyes, "You girls are so weird."

Clementine pulled up to the parking lot designated for employees of boardwalk shops and restaurants. She parked her car and the five of them walked down the long pier to Stacey's first of many bakeries.

Clare stared at the young woman who she assumed to be Molly looking ready to die in front of the register.

"You can leave now Molly, thank you," Clementine said gently.

Molly quickly grabbed her purse and things. She informed them that they might have to make more cupcakes for the afternoon rush and left.

"Feel better," Charlie called out as she was leaving.

"Alright, let's burn the place down!" Katie yelled, throwing her arms in the air.

Clementine smacked her arm, "Not on my watch."

They fished some extra employee shirts from the back closet. The girls tried not to laugh when Jake put on his baby blue shirt. Charlie kept trying to take pictures of him with her phone.

"Settle down children," Clementine said in stern voice.

"Children? You're only two years older!" Charlie teased.

"I'm the only man here now, I'll hold down the fort. Don't you worry your pretty little heads about it," Jake sighed.

All four girls crossed their arms and shot him disbelieving looks. He just smiled and shrugged. They all smacked his head once and got to work.

Customers flew in and out of the bakery all afternoon. Olivia showed up to help as well.

"Were running low on the popular cupcakes," Clementine panicked. The dessert families were going to start filing in soon.

"Clare, take Jake with you and bake," Charlie told her, "Katie and I will decorate."

Clare followed Jake into the back and he flipped through the pages of the bakery's own recipe book.

"Do you know how to do this?" He asked.

"I'm an excellent baker, thank you very much," Clare looked at the recipe book and groaned.

"What?" Jake asked.

"I forgot our measurements are different," Clare sighed. "Whatever, it can't be that different we just have to follow the steps."

"If they taste terrible I'm blaming it on you Canada," Jake teased.

They worked on five different batters and put in at least five hundred cupcakes into the three huge ovens.

"Think that'll last until closing time?" Jake asked.

"It better," Clare asked, "I can't carry another bag of flour or sugar ever again."

Jake laughed.

"What?" Clare asked.

"You have red velvet batter on your chin," he told her, "and flour in your hair."

Clare narrowed her eyes at him, "You have batter flecks all over your shirt."

Jake dipped his finger into the empty vanilla batter bowl and scraped the sides. He walked up to Clare and smeared it on her cheek.

"You have vanilla on your face," Jake said nonchalantly.

Clare's jaw dropped. She grabbed the bowl of carrot batter and wiped her finger across the edge. She brought it to Jake's face and made from his forehead to his chin.

"You have carrot on yours," she said innocently.

They stared each other down for a few seconds before arming themselves. Batter splatters flew across the room. Jake and Clare laughed the entire time. Finally Clare stopped waving a white utensil as her flag.

"I surrender," Clare said laughing, "we have to clean or my Aunt Stacey is going to freak."

Jake surveyed the room. They'd gotten some batter smeared across the machines, but most of it was on them. He took a step towards Clare, who was starting to clean herself off.

She looked up at him and smiled before laughing.

"What?" Jake asked, smiling back.

"You have carrot, red velvet and strawberry batter on you," Clare giggled.

"Listen sweetie, you don't look any better than I do right now," Jake mocked.

"You don't think I look pretty?" Clare batted her eyelashes in an exaggerated manner. "How will I ever live with myself?"

Jake laughed and took Clare's hand in his, "I didn't say you didn't look good."

Clare froze and blushed staring at the floor. Jake tilted her head up towards his. Elsewhere in the bakery, Clare's phone was ringing.

"Missed a chocolate spot," he said, "right here." He ran his finger right under her bottom lip. He brought it up to his own lip and sucked off the sweet batter.

Jake leaned in towards Clare again and surprisingly, she found herself leaning towards him too. Their lips brushed momentarily.

"Clare!" Charlie screamed, barging into the room. Her mouth dropped at their proximity and she had a grin on her face. "Whoa, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

Clare pulled away from Jake completely. He had a smirk on his lips as he looked away from her.

"You guys sure had fun," Charlie teased, making Clare blush furiously.

"What did you need?" Jake asked her.

"Oh yeah!" Charlie said, and handed Clare her phone, "Eli's on the phone."

Clare's eyes widened, "Eli. Oh my God Eli! Okay…I'll uh…be right back Jake." She snatched her phone out of Charlie's hand and practically ran out of the room.

She walked into what she assumed to be her aunt's office. She shut the door gently behind her and sat down before lifting the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked timidly.

Eli's dark laugh came from the other end, "You sure know how to make a guy wait Edwards."

"Sorry," Clare squeaked.

"Forget about it," Eli said. "How…uh…are you?"

"I'm great," Clare replied honestly. "How are you? How's your leg?"

Eli sighed, "I'm good. Felt like I was losing it from being locked up in my house. But I'm on crutches now, I'm free."

"That's good Eli," Clare said.

They talked a few more minutes, but the talk was awkward at best. At least the ice was broken though.

Clare sighed and ran her fingers through her flour covered hair. She walked out of the office and went bake to the baking room. Jake was wiping off the counters. Clare bit her lip and started helping him clean. Neither mentioned their almost kiss.

They closed up the bakery at ten and Stacey thanked them all for helping her out at the last minute. Jake didn't speak more than a few words to Clare the rest of the day.

The girls dropped off Jake at his own home. Charlie invited Katie to stay the night. When they got home, they went straight outside to turn on the fire pit on the deck. They snuggled up on lawn chair with huge blankets and ripped open bags of graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows for s'mores.

Charlie crawled over to Clare. "What happened? You've been serious since Eli called."

Clare shook her head, "It's a really, really long story."

"We've got time," Olivia said comfortingly, taking a bite from her s'more.

Clare told them the whole story. From the mixed messages to her encounter with Julia to fake dating Declan to their make-out on his bed to his broken leg and the day she left. They listened silently and Clare was very proud of the fact that she didn't shed a single tear. Every day it got easier to think about. Every day it hurt a little less.

"Boys are morons," Clementine scoffed, and it made Clare laugh once. Clementine was never one to be so rude.

Katie nodded, taking a bite from a chocolate bar, "I concur."

Aunt Stacey sat next to Clare and wrapped her arms around her tightly. "Is this what has been bothering you? Your dad…mentioned that you were acting weird…differently…is it because of what was going on with Eli?"

Clare nodded.

"Oh sweetheart," Stacey cooed, "you just have to remember that above anything else Eli was your friend. You'll get over him and everything will be okay."

As Clare went to sleep that night she recited what her Aunt said like her own personal chant.

xXx

Eli woke up that morning feeling more tired than usual. He couldn't get over how awkward it was when he was talking to Clare. They used to be able to talk about everything and anything.

Something had been broken and both of them knew it.

The conversation felt half forced. The realization made Eli feel like crap. He unintentionally messed with Clare's emotions and pushed her away.

If he shut his eyes tightly and focused on nothing else, he could still feel her warm skin under his fingers, her soft lips pressed to his in the most amazing way. He fucked up.

That stupid saying of not knowing what you have until it is gone has never been more true for Eli than at this moment. Clare was…everything.

She was the one who would bring him down from anger, bring him up from sadness, and share happiness with him. He was the one she would call in the middle of the night when she had nightmares.

_It was just past midnight and Eli was finally beginning to fall asleep. He had stayed up late finishing an assignment for history with Drew over webcam. His rubbed his eyes furiously and crawled under his duvet. The October winds made the almost leafless tree branches click against his window in a rhythmic pattern. Just as his eyes slipped close his phone began to vibrate from the nightstand._

_Eli groaned and reached over with his eyes still shut to grab it. He absentmindedly clicked the green button and brought the phone to his ear._

_"Drew, let me go to sleep," Eli muttered, "your mother won't kill us for a half assed C grade assignment worth nothing. You have the rest of the semester…not to mention the rest of grade nine to just above half ass assignments."_

_A small whimper on the other end of the line caused Eli's eyes to snap open._

_"Clare?" He asked._

_"I…had another nightmare," Clare cried softly, "I could see the car hitting her…her body smashed under the weight of the car. I swear I could hear the screeching breaks and breaking metal."_

_Eli looked at the clock on his nightstand, 12:21 am._

_"I'll be at your house in fifteen minutes, open your window," he said into the phone._

_"You don't-," Clare said but Eli cut her off._

_"I'm already on my way," Eli snapped his phone shut. He swung his legs over the side of his bed. He slipped his feet into a pair of tattered up vans and opened his window._

_The chilly October air sent a shiver down his spine. Eli grabbed a hoodie from the pile of clothes by his bed and put it on. He shrugged down at his pajamas and decided to leave them on…he'd be sleeping anyway._

_Eli carefully climbed down the side of his house. He landed on the dried grass with a soft thud. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Eli made the journey to Clare's house._

_He climbed up the trellis that was once under her window and knocked gently on the thin glass._

_Clare threw open her curtains and unlocked the window, opening it out for him. She stepped back and Eli climbed in. He shut the window behind himself and turned to Clare. _

_Her head was down and she had her arms wrapped around herself. Since Eli had started high school they hadn't seen each other much during the week. She looked so small and fragile. He gently put his fingertips under her chin and tilted her head up._

_Eli's heart broke when he saw Clare's eyes shining with tears. She threw her arms around him and sobbed quietly into his shoulder._

_"It was so terrifying Eli," Clare whimpered, "I could hear her screams and then…blood…I swear I could smell it…the salty iron was everywhere."_

_Eli wrapped his arms around her in a protective manner. He walked them over to her bed and pulled her into his lap. He rubbed her back comfortingly._

_"It was just a nightmare Clare," Eli whispered, "that's all it was."_

_"I know," Clare said, "but it was like I was there, frozen. I could see the car coming but I couldn't move her out of the way or scream for her to move."_

_Eli kissed her forehead and continued to comfort her until her tears subsided. He rubbed her back until her breathing evened out and she was asleep, cradled against him. _

_His eyes drooped slightly. He was too tired to walk back home this late. Eli decided to just wake up extra early and sneak back home. _

_He laid Clare down in her bed and slid in next to her. Just as he was beginning to slip into deep sleep, Eli felt Clare unconsciously curl into him. He wrapped his arm around her and it was one of many nights in which they fell asleep together._

He missed her so much. Eli didn't lie when he said that Clare made up half of him. He just didn't know that other half was practically consumed by her too.

Eli sighed and got up from his bed. He crutched his way to the bathroom. After wrapping up his cast in the necessary protection, Eli stepped under the cold water. It instantly finished waking him up. He finished showering and got back out.

He changed and stepped out of his room, towel drying his hair.

"Adam and Drew called," Cece said as Eli made his way into the kitchen, "they said they'd be here in a few minutes."

Eli nodded and slipped on his shoe. He grabbed a piece of toast and decided to wait for his friends outside.

True to their word, Adam and Drew showed up a few minutes later. Well Drew anyway, Adam was nowhere to be seen.

Eli crutched over and got into the passenger seat.

"Where's Adam?" Eli asked after he greeted Drew.

"We were leaving the house when Alli called; she was bent on guilt tripping one of us into going shopping with her. We tried fighting her but Adam finally cracked, felt bad that she would have to go alone," Drew explained.

"Alli's scares me," Eli said honestly.

Drew laughed, "That makes two of us. I told them I'd pick them up from the mall when they were done. So do you just want to go to record store? There's a few new albums out that I want to buy."

Eli shrugged, "Sure. But do we have enough room for all of Alli's bags?"

"I sure hope so," Drew sighed.

Drew parked outside the record store. They walked inside the store and parted ways immediately, their music tastes differed dramatically. Eli was looking through some new releases and cringed at how similar all of these new pop-punk bands sounded nowadays.

Eli walked to the back of the store and sifted through the store's surprisingly great vinyl collection. He was going through their collection of Led Zeppelin records when Drew walked up to him holding a few hip-hop and rap albums in his hands.

He knew Drew had something on his mind when he began looking through the vinyl as well. Since when did Drew listen to Black Sabbath? Eli ignored it with a roll of his eyes, if Drew had something to say, he was probably just figuring out how to say it.

"So did you call Clare?"

"Wow, way to be subtle," Eli replied.

"It's my gift…Adam told me you two hadn't talked…wow, we sound like girls," Drew shook his head.

"Yeah, I did," Eli said, "but it was so awkward…it felt…like I don't know…something was missing."

Drew nodded, "I get it but you have to push through that awkwardness. You two were the closest pair of best friends I've ever seen. You still want that, don't you?"

Eli nodded. "That's not all," he mumbled.

"What?" Drew asked.

"Nothing," Eli replied.

"No, you're hiding something," Drew said. "What?"

Eli shook his head.

"Oh my God. You love her, don't you?" Drew asked.

Eli turned to his friend with wide eyes.

"I know what lovesick looks like," Drew shrugged. "When did you-?"

"Like…the minute after she left my house," Eli cut him off.

Drew pursed his lips, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I'll see when she gets back, I guess," Eli muttered, "I have to figure things out."

Drew's phone rang. Adam was calling to ask for him to go pick him and Alli up at the mall.

"Let me pay for these and we'll go get Adam," Drew walked up to the front counter.

"Speaking of Adam," Eli brought up once they were on the road again. The mall was only a few blocks away. "Don't tell him…he's still kind of mad at me…for what I put Clare through, I know."

Drew nodded, "No problem."

Five minutes later they pulled up to the mall. Adam and Alli were already waiting outside. Each one had their arms full of bags, but both Drew and Eli suspected that the bags in Adam's hands were also Alli's. Drew got out of the car to help them. Eli really couldn't with his leg and all.

Through the open door Eli could All on the phone, laughing. He could hear bits and pieces of her conversation.

"Surfing?" She asked as she stuffed multiple bags from the same stores into the trunk.

"Oh my God. Is he cute?"

Eli rolled his eyes, typical Alli.

"You've got boys pining after you all over the continent," Alli giggled.

Drew climbed back in the car. Adam followed suit while Alli lingered outside a few more moments, finishing her conversation.

"Hi guys!" Alli greeted happily as she buckled up next to Adam.

"Damn Alli, did you clean out the mall?" Eli teased.

Alli shrugged, "There were sales in all of my favorite stores. I cannot be held accountable for my actions."

"I am never doing that again," Adam sighed.

"Hush, you had fun with me," Alli said flirtatiously and they all noticed the small blush that spread across Adam's face.

Eli smirked.

"Oh my God!" Alli yelled.

Drew slammed on the brakes.

"What?" He said quickly.

"I forgot to show you. I was just talking to Clare. She learned to surf!" Alli squealed with delight.

She pulled out her phone and went to her photo album. She pulled up the pictures Clare had sent her and showed them to everyone.

One of the pictures was zoomed in on Clare, who was riding a pretty big wave. Her long, curly hair was flying behind her and she had a huge smile plastered on her face.

Eli felt something twisting inside. He missed her so much.

Drew side glanced at Eli and shot him a look as he passed the phone back to Alli.

xXx

Charlie decided to have bonfire that night. She invited everyone she knew and within hours the beach behind their home was littered with Charlie's, Olivia's, and Clementine's friends.

The full moon shone brightly over them.

"Having fun?" Charlie asked Clare.

"Yeah," Clare replied.

"You okay? I know it's been a few days since you talked to him," Charlie said.

Clare smiled widely, "I'm fine. I think…no, I know that I'm getting over him. He's my best friend and that's all I want him to be."

"Good," Charlie smirked mischievously, "because Jake is here and you guys have some unfinished business."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Clare said, trying to sound normal.

"Clare Diana Edwards, I dare you to try and lie to my face. You and my best friend were about to suck face in the bakery kitchen," Charlie teased.

"Okay…so maybe we were…but I leave in a month and a half…I can't….have a relationship and then….I won't do the long distance thing," Clare explained.

"Oh God Clare, I wasn't saying marry Jake, but a summer fling is good for everyone," Charlie wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Clare blushed but didn't turn down the idea. "I don't know," she said simply.

Charlie pouted and walked away when a cute boy beckoned her over. Clare was not alone for long though. Katie popped up next to her a few minutes later. She hugged her and pulled her towards the fire.

People were all around. Manny and Darcy were handing out long streamers on sticks and sparklers.

"Here," Manny said, handing Clare two sparklers. She gave some to Katie as well and the girls went to turn them on by the flames of the bonfire.

Katie and Clare danced around with their sparklers and a few other people. Clare couldn't remember the last time she felt so…free.

She was walking backwards and didn't notice the person whose back was also to her. She ran into it and jumped back immediately.

"I'm sorry," Clare said.

The body turned to her…it was Jake.

They stared each other down before Jake smirked, "It's fine, Clare."

He started walking away and Clare reached out for him. "Wait," she called out.

Jake turned back to face her.

"What?" He asked.

"Can we talk?" Clare asked shyly.

They walked away from the crowd of people. Jake took her around the house where it was dark and they could not be seen.

"Yeah?" Jake questioned.

Clare cleared her throat slightly, "About the other day…"

"Nothing happened Clare. And nothing will," Jake said coldly.

Clare's face fell, "Why not?"

"I won't be that guy Clare…you've got a boyfriend or whatever at home…I won't be the guy you cheat on him with," Jake said.

Clare furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you talking about? I do not have a boyfriend."

Jake rolled his eyes, "Don't lie Clare. You practically ran out of the kitchen when Eli or whoever called."

"Eli's not my boyfriend," Clare stated. "He's my best friend. That's it."

Jake stopped, "Really?"

Clare nodded, biting her lip.

"Oh, then…this changes things," he smirked.

Clare stepped closer to him, trying to be confident.

"You look beautiful," Jake smiled. Clare looked down at the purple dress hugging her body. She silently thanked her cousins for convincing her to wear it.

"Thank you," Clare replied, feeling her cheeks warming.

Jake chuckled softly.

"What?" Clare asked.

"You're cute when you blush," he said honestly.

Jake moved his face closer towards hers. Clare gasped and he pulled back a bit.

"I'm only here for the summer," Clare whispered softly, "whatever happens here…won't go farther than that."

Jake smiled reassuringly, taking her hands and placing them around his neck.

"I know," he replied, in a tone of voice just as low as her own, because any louder would break the spell. "I'm okay with it…if…if you are," he swallowed slowly.

Charlie's words rung in her head, "_A summer fling is good for everyone_."

Clare felt all inhibition melt away. She bravely stepped forward and closed the space between them.

Jake moved his lips slowly against hers and rested his hands at her hips, rubbing his thumbs in small circles.

They pulled back briefly, their breaths mingled as they tried to regain oxygen.

"God, you don't know since when I've wanted to do that," Jake panted.

Clare smiled smugly, "Since?"

"The night you beat me at volleyball," Jake admitted.

She rolled her eyes and took a few steps back as Jake pressed her up against the side of the house. This time he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers more aggressively. Clare responded eagerly, threading her fingers through the ends of the hair at the nape of his neck.

Clare would never have done this with someone she wasn't serious about.

But there was something about Jake. Maybe it was that he was honest, sometimes brutally so. Clare had learned that whilst he was teaching her to surf. He kept telling her she sucked and wasn't getting it right. Maybe it was how laid back and "go with the flow" Jake was. He didn't want drama in his life and steered clear of the few petty arguments that erupted in Charlie's circle of friends. His being extremely good looking certainly helped as well.

She sighed into their kiss and pressed back harder.

Clare didn't know what attracted her to Jake so much, but she decided she was not going to fight it.

xXx

Eli was wobbling around his room. He was determined to have this cast off as soon as possible. The crutches hurt his armpits and they fell all the time. He'd probably use a cane for a few weeks when his cast came off but that was better than the crutches.

Clare had called him the other night. The phone call was less awkward and she told him about her family, about Charlie's friends and the things they'd done together.

Her tone was one he hadn't heard in a long time. She was happy, her voice was light and she giggled throughout her descriptions. Eli knew her eyes were probably sparkling; something had put the shine back in her eyes.

Something that wasn't him, Eli had only taken away the shine. Something or someone else had given it back to her.

He wondered if she would carry that shine back with her to Toronto.

Eli's thoughts were interrupted when he heard the front door open. He heard Randall Edwards' voice all the way from the living room.

"Eli," Cece yelled, "come down for lunch."

"Be right there," he yelled back.

He maneuvered himself down the stairs using the cane whilst holding onto the railing for dear life. He limped into the kitchen and sat down next to Randall.

"Hello Eli," Randall greeted him. "How's your leg been?"

"Hey Randall," Eli replied. "It's much better thanks. I'm dropping the crutches soon."

"How's Clarabelle doing?" Bullfrog asked.

Cece smiled excitedly, "Yeah, how is she?"

"She's doing great. I talked to her just before I came here. She was going to go scuba diving with her cousins today," Randall informed them, "she's so happy to be spending time with her mom's side of the family."

"I bet," Cece said.

"Aren't you going to go spend some time there too?" Eli asked. Clare had told him about it during their first call.

"I was," Randall explained, "but my law firm just got this huge case and I can't take time off. But Clare is fine with it, she's soaking up as much time with her mom's family as she can. A few of Helen's other brothers and sisters are flying in for some family reunion Stacey decided to throw for Clare."

"That sounds so wonderful," Cece gushed.

"It is," Randall smiled thoughtfully, "I haven't heard Clare so genuinely happy in years."

Eli looked down at his plate and lost his appetite.

"All she does is talk on and on about how wonderful it is," Randall laughed.

"Bet she wants to stay out there," Bullfrog joked.

"I was joking with her on the phone and told her we might as well move out there."

Cece laughed.

"Clare was ecstatic. She'd move there in a heartbeat I think," Randall said.

Eli wanted to leave the room but his leg was hurting at the moment and he didn't want to move it.

"Is that something you could do?" Cece asked, now serious.

Randall wiped his lips with a napkin. "It's not completely impossible. My law firm has branches all over the United States and some parts of Europe. All of Helen's family lives in different parts of the States. My parents are gone and my brother lives in England. The only person really tying us down here is Clare's grandmother, Helen's mom, but even she's getting to the age where she can't be alone anymore and Stacey wants to move her out with her to California."

Eli felt his heart stop at least six different times while Randall spoke. They could leave. They could leave at any moment. Clare could be gone forever.

Bullfrog took a sip from his beer, "Have you given a lot of thought to this?"

Cece was gripping her fork, Clare was like the daughter she never had.

"Yes but I'm only giving it thought. I'm not going to up and change Clare's life right now. She knows I'm only kidding and she'd never want to leave here anyway. I told her she's letting all the sun and ocean water clog up her mind. Stacey's invited her back to her home during every break and I think that's enough for now," Randall said.

Eli sighed in relief but his mind was reeling.

"You okay baby boy? You haven't touched your food," Cece pointed out.

"My leg's bothering me. I'm not really hungry. I think I'm just going to go lay down," Eli said. "Nice to see you Randall, say hi to Clare for me next time you talk to her."

"Of course, I hope your leg heals soon," he replied.

Eli climbed up his stairs slowly and called Drew. He showed up about an hour later, after Randall had left.

"Alright, what's up? Your phone call was frantic and you made me lose against Adam at Mortal Combat," Drew walked in and jumped on Eli's bed.

"She wants to move out there. Clare wants to stay in California and never come back. She hates me and I chased her away. She wants to be as far away from as possible," Eli said too quickly.

"What?" Drew asked.

"I said that Clare doesn't want to live here anymore. She wants to move to California. I chased her away. She hates me," Eli dropped down next to Drew.

"Clare's moving?" He asked.

"No," Eli answered.

"Then calm the hell down. You sound like a chick out of a sad romantic comedy. Clare doesn't hate you. She's hurt, there's a difference. She doesn't want to move anywhere; she's probably just excited to be with her family Eli. She hasn't seen or really heard from her mom's side since she died. Can you blame her for being happy?" Drew said. He hit Eli's head gently.

"God, what the hell is wrong with me?" Eli sighed.

"I don't know, but it's funny," Drew laughed.

"Glad my life is amusing you," Eli retorted.

Drew jumped up from the bed, "C'mon, get up you sap. I'm getting you out of here."

Eli grabbed his cane and pulled himself off the bed.

"Where are we going?" He asked as they walked down the stairs.

"Drive around, pick up Adam from Alli's house and make fun of him because they're not even together yet and she has him whipped. Get your mind off Clare for a little while," Drew said.

"Sounds like a plan," Eli mumbled, leaning back into the car seat.

xXx

Clare was exhausted. Aunt Stacey had organized a large party for Clare and family appeared from all over. She was overwhelmed by the amount of family on her mother's side. But the weekend was over and the families had all gone back to their respective parts of the country.

Clare dropped backwards onto her bed and closed her eyes. There was a slight throbbing in her head.

She felt the bed dip and opened her eyes. Jake was sitting at the foot of the bed with a smug smile on his face.

"How did you get in here?" Clare asked, sitting up. She felt a little over exposed in her short denim shorts and white tank top, but Jake didn't seem to mind.

He leaned in and kissed her. "You forget that I practically live here. The sliding kitchen door was open, by the way."

Clare rolled her eyes, "So you just waltz whenever you want?"

"Pretty much," Jake replied, "I can leave though, if you want."

Clare crawled over to him. "No one is kicking you out," Clare teased.

"Good," Jake said, tentatively placing his hands on her bare thighs and pulling her onto his lap. "Because I wouldn't get to make out with you right now that no one's home and that would kind of suck."

"No one's home?" Clare asked.

"Charlie left to go see Katie when I walked in. She told me you were up here," Jake said.

"Okay," Clare said slowly and a smile formed on her lips.

"Okay?" Jake raised an eyebrow.

Clare tapped her chin with her index finger and pretended to think long and hard, "I'm sure we can find something to do."

Jake smirked and for a second Clare froze, reminded of Eli's smirk. Jake wasn't doing it right. She shook her head and pushed Eli's face out of her mind. Jake gave her a weird look.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," Clare said quickly, "just shut up."

She pushed him down onto her bed and kissed him hard. Her fingers tangled in his hair and his hands run up and down her thighs softly. Clare shivered at his touch and he pulled away, there was a smug smile on his face.

"We can't…," Clare breathed, "over clothes only." She briefly stunned herself with her words, but didn't take them back. She didn't want to take them back.

Jake nodded and kissed her again. Despite being given permission, Jake's hands stayed on her hips. He could sense her nervousness and didn't want to push her. They kissed until their lips were swollen.

He gently pushed Clare off of him and sat up. "We should stop, don't want to get too carried away."

Clare visibly relaxed. "Let's go swimming?"

Jake nodded, "Change, I'll wait for you outside."

He walked out of her room, shutting the door softly behind him. She jumped up from her bed and threw open her closet. She rifled through the two-piece bikinis Charlie and Olivia had bought her from Victoria's Secret as a joke.

Clare bit her lip as she examined each one carefully. She'd been going out to swim and surf in short shorts but they chafed her thighs. Plus she tired of having to pull of wet denim at the end of the day. She sighed and finally just closed her eyes and picked one blindly.

She changed into it quickly and stood in front of her mirror. The bottom rose a little too low for her taste but there was nothing she could do about it. Clare fought a smile when she realized that she filled out the top quite nicely.

She ran outside and found Jake lying flat on the sand. An arm was thrown over his eyes to block the sun. Clare walked towards him slowly, enjoying the warm sand under her feet.

Clare cleared her throat to get Jake's attention. He removed his arm and peered up at her. She heard him choke on his breath when he noticed what she was wearing and smiled.

She offered him her hand and pulled him to his feet. Jake couldn't stop ogling and it made Clare giggle.

They swam out at least a mile into the ocean and Jake teased that a shark was going to eat them.

Clare swam back to shore faster than she knew she was capable of.

Jake laughed, "There are no sharks that close to shore, Canada."

"Fine, then let it eat you," Clare smiled.

"Can I ask you something?" Jake asked. He sat down next to her and leaned back on his elbows.

"Um…sure," Clare hooked a piece of hair behind her ear turned to him.

"When your friend Eli called, you completely freaked out on me. You said that he wasn't your boyfriend and I believe you but….," He trailed off.

"But what?"

"I get the feeling that there was something there."

"It's…..complicated," Clare turned away from Jake.

"I don't want to push but I was just wondering," Jake said.

"You really want to know?" Clare asked.

Jake shrugged, "If you want to tell me."

"I don't," Clare sighed, "but not for the reasons you might think. I've gotten past that and I want to leave it behind."

Jake sat up and kissed her. "Okay," he smiled.

xXx

"Two weeks," Eli sighed. School started in two weeks. Clare would be back two days before school started up again. He knew he wouldn't see her until the first day of school though; she'd be busy shopping and whatnot. His cast was finally off but he was still limping around with a cane.

"I know!" Alli squealed, "I'm tired of hanging around you three losers."

"Hey!" Drew laughed. "That loser," he pointed to Adam, "is your boyfriend."

"My loser," Alli kissed Adam's cheek. She giggled when his face turned beet red.

Eli made the sound a whip being slapped with his mouth, Drew laughed.

"Shut up," Alli said. They were in her empty bedroom. She had coerced the boys into helping her paint her room before school started up again.

"Bye bye pink vomit," Eli said as he painted his assigned wall.

xXx

"I can't believe you're leaving!" Charlie wailed.

"Two days Charlie," Clare said, leaning back in her chair.

"It feels like you just got here."

Clare felt herself getting misty eyed, "Shut up, I'm going to punch you if you make me cry."

"Okay, okay, sorry," Charlie sniffled and went back to her task.

Tonight was Clare's goodbye party and Charlie was currently straightening out Clare's long hair.

"We're back!" Olivia shouted, running into the room and jumping on Clare's bed. Clementine walked in behind her flopped down next to her sister.

"Here," Clementine tossed Clare a paper bag.

She eagerly ripped into a bag and pulled out a little white box.

"Where are my new glasses?" Clare asked.

Olivia, Charlie, and Clementine giggled. A few days ago they'd been at the beach and Clare had taken off her glasses to swim. When she came back her glasses were nowhere to be found. Clare new that Charlie must have taken them and hidden them. When Aunt Stacey offered to replace them, Clare didn't really miss her ugly old frames.

"We changed the order. No more glasses for you. Get used to contacts because you are no longer hiding your eyes," Olivia said.

"The prescription is on the box so don't lose it. When you go back home you can continue ordering them wherever you do," Clementine told her.

Clare sighed and opened the box, "I'm going to poke my eye out trying to get these in."

"Only the first few times," Charlie teased. She was holding the hot flat iron to Clare's hair.

"Are you going to miss it here?" Clementine asked.

"Of course," Clare answered. "I loved it here."

Olivia snorted, "Please, you're not going to miss us, you're going to miss making out with Jake every chance you two got."

Clare blushed and her cousins laughed.

A nasty smell suddenly covered the room.

"What smells like hair burning?" Clementine covered her nose.

"Charlie take the flat iron out of Clare's hair!" Olivia yelled.

A terrified gasp came from behind Clare.

"Oh my God," Charlie repeated over and over again.

"What?" Clare asked. She turned her head and her eyes widened with horror.

In one hand, Charlie had the flat iron, which was actually emitting steam from how hot it was. In the other hand, Charlie held a handful of reddish brown hair.

Clare gathered all of her hair in one hand and brought it her face.

A large chunk of the bottom half of her hair was gone.

Clare let out the loudest, most girly scream ever.

"My hair!" Clare screeched. She looked to the floor and saw that there were a few strands of her hair all over it.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Olivia jumped from the bed and ran to them. "We can just cut it to even it all out."

Clementine sat silent on the bed, her eyes wide with worry.

Olivia pulled Clare to the bathroom and wet her hair to curl it again. She sat Clare on the toilet and ran out of the bathroom. A minute or two later she came back with a black bag. Olivia pulled out a pair of salon scissors and a comb.

"Stay still," Olivia commanded.

Clare clenched her eyes shut and focused solely on the sound of scissors closing around hair.

"I'm done," Olivia said about twenty minutes later.

Clare opened her eyes and was horrified by the amount of hair that was in the trash can.

She walked back to her room, where Charlie and Clementine currently sat silently. Clare looked in the mirror and smiled. Her hair was just above shoulder length and curled nicely. She let out a relieved breath.

"Clare, I'm so, so, so sorry," Charlie said. She looked two minutes away from crying.

Clare smiled, "You better be. But whatever, Olivia fixed it. Hair will grow back." She hugged Charlie to assure her everything was okay.

"If it's any consolation," Clementine said from the bed, "you look really, really pretty with your new hair cut."

"She does, I'm amazing I know," Olivia said smugly.

"Thank you," Clare said.

"Girls," Stacey shouted from downstairs, "Katie's here. People are starting to arrive. Are you done changing?"

"Be down in a few minutes mom," Olivia shouted. "We had a little bit of a crisis."

The girls went to their separate rooms to change.

Clare walked outside and saw that Jake was waiting for her on the deck.

"Hi," Clare said to get his attention.

"Hey," Jake said and turned to her. He smiled and kissed her.

"Oh God, please with the PDA," Charlie made a disgusted noise and walked onto the beach.

Clare stuck out her tongue and kissed Jake again.

"You look beautiful," he whispered in her ear. "Why did you cut your hair though?"

Clare huffed, "Charlie burned my hair with the flat iron, so I had to cut it."

"Well, you still look amazing," Jake said with a laugh.

"Not funny," Clare smacked him gently.

They walked off the deck and joined everyone else. Katie ran over and threw her arms around Clare.

"You can't leave!" Katie screamed, "You're staying right here. We'll hide you in the basement or something."

Clare laughed.

The night went by smoothly and soon enough the party was over and people started leaving.

People said goodbye to Clare and told her to come back soon. Katie announced that she was staying the night and helped clean the garbage off the sand.

The girls went inside to give Clare time alone with Jake.

"Will you come back tomorrow?" Clare asked sweetly.

"Yeah," Jake replied. "I can't believe you're leaving."

She leaned her head on his chest, "I know. I wish I had more time left."

"You'll come back though right?"

"I will. Or maybe you could visit me in Toronto," Clare winked.

"Only if you promise to keep me warm," Jake whispered suggestively.

Clare said goodbye to Jake a few minutes later and went back inside.

"I said fling Clare, not fall in love with the kid!" Charlie teased.

Katie laughed and handed Clare a present, "A parting gift!"

"You didn't have to," Clare said quickly.

"I know," Katie said sitting down on the carpeted floor of the living room.

Clare opened the box to find a simple purple frame that held a picture of her, Katie, Charlie, Jake, Clementine and Olivia from their second trip to Disneyland that summer. Jake's arm was around Clare waist and everyone had a huge smile on their face.

"Thank you Katie," Clare whispered.

Katie nodded and popped open a can of soda.

"My turn," Aunt Stacey said walking into the room. There was a pretty big box in her arms.

"Aunt Stacey you really shouldn't have, you did enough just letting me come live with you this summer," Clare said.

"Oh hush, I spent very little money on this and I know you'll love it," Stacey said she set the box down in front of Clare.

Clare lifted the lid carefully and peered inside. Amidst the purple tissue paper sat an old looking photo album. She took it out and flipped through the pages quickly.

"Is this my mom and dad?" Clare pointed to a picture that looked like Helen and Randall in their early twenties.

"Yup," Stacey said, "they're just pictures of your mom growing up and a bunch of when she was dating your dad. Some of the pictures have little stories on the side, like the one of when your dad met your mom. We were at a baseball game for his university and he hit her with a ball on accident. I made sure he apologized and then told him to take her out. Your mom was hesitant at first because we were still in high school and he was a freshman in college but I made sure to cover for her when she went out with him."

Charlie snorted, "So are you telling me I can date a college guy if I get Clementine to cover for me."

Stacey knocked her daughter over the head with a pillow, "No, you can't."

"Well, we got you almost the same thing Clare," Clementine said pulling out another photo album.

"But instead we filled it with pictures of this summer and our own faces because Lord knows how conceited we are," Olivia teased.

Clare laughed, "Thank you for everything. I'm really, really going to miss you."

"No crying," Aunt Stacey said. "We can cry when we drop Clare off at the airport and that's it."

"We're going shopping tomorrow," Charlie exclaimed excitedly.

"Why?" Clare asked. The last thing she wanted to do on her second to last day was waste time shopping. She'd rather spend it surfing, swimming or with Jake.

"Well, new hair, no glasses," Katie said, "we might as well finish off "new Clare" with a whole bunch of new clothes."

"Ew," Clare said, "I'd rather go surfing instead."

"Night surfing," Charlie said.

"No thank-," Clare started.

"Too bad," Olivia said, "all of us voted and you lost."

Clare groaned.

The next day was spent at the Beverly Centre in Los Angeles. Clare's arms hurt from the bags she was carrying. She had ropes burns on them by the end of the day.

"I think I need another suitcase," Clare said as they were leaving.

"We can buy another one," Clementine pointed out.

"What am I going to do with so many new clothes?"

"Wear them dummy," Charlie said.

"You're helping me pack my stuff," Clare groaned.

By the end of the day Clare was all packed for her midday flight the next day. She bit her lip as she paddled out on her surfboard.

Jake hadn't shown up.

The girls surfed under the moonlight for a few hours. The waves weren't very big but that was for the better since they couldn't really see. Clementine snapped a few more pictures that she would print out and give to Clare for her album.

The next morning Clare woke up as the first rays of sun started shining. She tiptoed down the stairs since everyone else was still asleep. She walked onto the beach and sat by the water, letting it graze her toes.

"Hey," a gruff voice said from behind her.

Clare turned her head and saw Jake walking towards her.

She smiled, "Hi, what are you doing here so early?"

"I guessed that you'd be up to soak in as much sun and ocean before your flight," Jake told her, "and I was right."

"You didn't come yesterday," Clare accused, "I was waiting when I got home from the mall."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I was getting you a present," Jake said.

Clare noticed the white bag in his hand. Jake held it out to her.

She opened the bag and took out the black box inside. She opened that as well and inside there was a snow globe.

She took it out and shook it. Inside there was a volleyball net and a volleyball on the ground.

"Did you know you can get snow globes made?" Jake asked.

Clare shook her head.

"Me either and I drove by this tiny place where they make different mementoes and stuff," Jake said.

"Cool," Clare said shaking the snow globe to see the sand whirl around the tiny ball.

"Yeah, so I took water and sand from this very part of the beach to the guy who makes it. You're taking sand and ocean water home from right here in that little globe," Jake explained, "and the net and ball are supposed to from the day we first met."

"You're cheesy," Clare teased, "but I like it…no I love it. Thank you for this. I get to take the ocean with me."

Jake shrugged, "It's nothing."

"It's beautiful," Clare whispered. She kissed him slowly and realized exactly how much she'd miss Jake. He had put her back together in a few short weeks.

Jake responded eagerly, this kiss more aggressive than any of the ones they'd shared before.

Clare pulled away and leaned with her back against Jake's chest. He held her close and pressed kisses into her shoulder.

"We're so sappy," Jake said suddenly, "what happened to summer only?"

Clare shrugged and lifted her head to kiss his jaw. "I don't know, but I like it."

"I'm going to miss you a lot," Jake whispered, "maybe more than I should. Should I be sorry?"

"No," Clare replied, "I'm going to miss you too."

They sat together on the sand until Stacey called them in.

"Clare your flight leaves in two hours! We have to get you to the airport," Stacey shouted.

They pulled away reluctantly. Jake helped Clare up and she grabbed her snow globe before heading inside.

Her cousins had brought down her suitcases and they were all piled up by the front door.

"I'll help you take them out to the car," Jake whispered.

Clare nodded and they dragged her bags out of the house.

"Have a safe flight," Jake said after he shut the trunk. He turned to leave; Clare furrowed her eyebrows and grabbed his arm. Her family was waiting inside patiently, giving them time, but she knew she had to make this quick.

"That's it?" Clare asked.

"What Clare?" Jake asked.

"C'mon, don't be like that please," she pleaded softly.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Jake said sincerely.

"I don't know either," Clare replied honestly.

"This sucks," Jake scratched the back of his head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't. We shouldn't. I'm sorry."

Clare nodded, "We can't control our emotions."

"Do you…feel the same way?" He asked, there was a glint of hope in his eyes.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Jake assured, "you aren't the one who broke our agreement. You weren't the one who fell in love with the other."

Clare swallowed and felt a tight knot form in the pit of her stomach.

"I care about you a lot," she whispered. Clare stepped forward and hugged him tightly. "I know it's not the same but I really do care about you."

Jake took a deep breath and let it out slowly, he wrapped his arms around her. He buried his head in her curls, inhaling the smell of coconut and vanilla of her hair.

"Guys we have to go," Charlie called softly from the front door. She felt guilty; this was all her idea in the first place.

"Okay," Clare pulled away from Jake. He pulled her back gently and kissed her softly.

Jake kissed her forehead one more time and smiled. "Be safe."

She nodded and Jake left quickly.

"C'mon sweetie," Aunt Stacey said walking out.

Katie ran out of the house and gave Clare a tight hug, "Keep in touch, okay?"

Clare nodded, hugging her back, "Promise."

"And don't worry too much about Jake, we'll keep an eye on him," she assured Clare.

"Thanks," she pursed her lips.

They climbed in the car and the drive to the airport was silent. Olivia took the front passenger seat while Clementine, Clare, and Charlie squished in the back seat.

The drive felt very short and soon enough they were in front of Clare's terminal.

Everyone got out of the car. A short, stocky teenage boy came with a cart to help Clare get her bags to check-in. He stood aside politely while Clare said her goodbyes.

Olivia was the first to step up and hug Clare. She kissed her cheek and smiled. "You're the fourth sister, okay? Call if you need anything. I'm going to miss you. Charlie's going to be so much more quiet now that her partner in crime is gone."

Charlie stuck out her tongue, wiping away a few stray tears.

Clementine pulled Clare into a hug and discreetly slipped in a few extra pictures Olivia had taken without her noticing. She said nothing but then again Clementine never said much. Her actions always spoke for her.

Clare and Charlie looked at each other for a moment before bursting into tears at the same time. They hugged tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much," Charlie wailed.

Clare nodded into her shoulder, "Me too. You did so much for me! Burned my hair, broke my glasses purposely, and practically made me a new person."

Charlie laughed through her tears, "I'm sorry again about your hair."

Clare giggled, "You have to come to Toronto; you just have to."

Charlie nodded and pulled away.

Clare threw her arms around her Aunt Stacey and cried freely. "Thank you so much for everything. I loved this summer so much and I love you all too. Thank you for bringing me closer to my mom too."

Stacey squeezed the young girl tightly, "Your mom would be so proud of you. You're turning out to be exactly who she prayed you would be."

Clare cried harder.

"Call me when you're home safely, and if you need anything don't hesitate to pick up a phone okay?" Stacey said.

Clare nodded and turned away from them with a small wave. The boy followed her with her bags to the check-in line.

The flight was long and boring, again. She slept through most of it.

"Fasten your seatbelts please," a too perky flight attendant's voice came through the speakers. Clare woke up and rubbed her eyes. "Ladies and gentlemen we are about to land at Toronto Pearson International Airport. For those of you visiting, welcome to our beautiful city. For citizens flying back, welcome home."

Clare shook her head and snatched her bag out of the overhead compartment once the airplane had almost cleared.

She felt the jet-lag pulling at her and carefully walked to the baggage claim. A jolly old man handed her a cart and Clare dropped all of her suitcases onto it before leaving to find her exit.

She yawned as she walked out into the cloudy Toronto day. The airport was way less crowded than LAX and Clare found herself smiling. She spotted her dad at the end of the pick-up lane and ran over excitedly.

"Kiddo," her dad said, "miss you so much."

"I missed you too dad," Clare said wrapping her arms around him.

"Tell me all about your vacation," Randall said as he loaded her bags in the car. "You come back to me barely looking like the girl I dropped off."

Clare laughed and began the retelling of her entire stay – minus a few details of course.

* * *

><p>Thoughts?<p>

Clare's burned hair was inspired by real life! Last May I burned my own hair with the hair diffuser...


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note_

Oh how I wish this was an upate for you all, but unfortunately it is not. Let me start with what is/was going on in my life. I can see now that the last time I updated One of The Boys was July 29th, and the last time I updated I Have Friends in Holy Spaces was August 25th. I moved 12 hours from home for university the second to last week of August. That was painful enough, I can't express how much I miss my family and my friends everyday. I updated once the second week I was here and then I started planning and writing what would been the 10th chapter of One of the Boys.

Then about a week and a half ago my personal laptop died. The battery died and the system itself also died. I don't know what happened. I am writing this on a laptop the school gave me. I haven't taken my personal laptop anywhere to get fixed yet because it'll be a lot more than I have at the moment. Everything about these two stories was stored on that laptop. Outlines, deleted scenes, all previous chapters, the two current chapters I had already begun writing and tons of oneshots that were being developed for you all. But for the moment all of that is gone. I don't know how long it will take to get fixed, if it even can be fixed.

So for the moment One of the Boys and I Have Friends in Holy Spaces are on hiatus. I am just as saddened by this as you are. The moment I find out what will happen to my personal laptop I will let you all know what will happen to these two stories. But I can't bring myself to basically start from scratch for the remaining chapters of the stories when I had my outlines and scenes planned out already.

I promise to keep you all updated with whatever happens here: crookedfairytales[dot]tumblr[dot]com.

The one piece of happy news I can bring is that I am currently working on one very, very long oneshot. It'll take me a week or more to finish, but expect that soon. Also, I posted a oneshot, Turning Tides, so check that out. :)

**Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews and support.**


	11. Chapter 11

I got more than halfway through writing a new chapter of this, so close to posting because I knew a lot of people were waiting for an update for this. But I deleted everything after reading it over last night and I decided to discontinue the story. What I wrote was forced, half assed, and not what readers who subscribed, favorite, reviewed, deserved. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm letting you all down but honestly I can't find inspiration for these two stories anymore, especially I Have Friends In Holy Spaces. I can't decide whether to leave them up or not but I probably will so not to worry (if you were). I hope you all aren't too angry or disappointed in me. I feel bad enough for doing this but this is honestly the best option. I have other things in the works right now that I'm more excited about and I wasn't working on those because my focus was on these two stories that I know I didn't want to write anymore. But I'd like to thank every single one of you that has subscribed, favorited, reviewed these two stories. And thanks even more to those who continuously messaged me or continued reviewing asking for when I would post. I feel especially bad for letting you all down. There are other things to come next and I sincerely hope that you will read those. Thanks.

nomadichead


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